It Began With Darkness In The Sky
by Solo Wing Pixy
Summary: A solar eclipse puts me in Naruto and I try as hard as I can to not screw up the original storyline with mixed results.A lot of action,romance,and humor. Set after Tsunade becomes hokage. Naruto x the girl genins.May have time travel later. My 1st
1. The Sky Grows Dark

_**A/N: **__This story is told by my point of view alone, and you will only hear my thoughts, which will be displayed in italic. I'm going to try to keep everyone in character and consistent with the original storyline as best I can. Keep in mind no definite romances have been established in Naruto and many people worldwide agree with me. I promise you all won't be disappointed. Enjoy my first fanfic ladies and gentlemen._

It Began With Darkness In The Sky

**By Solo Wing Pixy**

Chapter 1: The Sky Grows Dark

Summer, Friday morning. I'm alone in my house. My parents went to the doctor's office; my two older brothers and my older sister are all at work. Right now I stare at several pictures of the success known as Naruto, which I printed from the computer. My eyes scan happily over the images of the greatest badass in the history of Japanese cartoons, Naruto himself. However I also stare at pictures of the lovely female shinobi, at least the older ones. For example; Anko, Kurenai, Shizune, and the greatest woman in her fifties that I have ever seen, Tsunade.

'_I love these women! I can't decide who's my favorite, they're all great!' _I think in mind, _'Many fans say that not enough attention is spent on the ladies, and I kinda have to agree with them. Anko's fiery personality makes her attractive, Kurenai's calm demeanor makes her great, Shizune is such a sweet woman, and Tsunade just gives off an air of authority!' _I keep these pictures in a folder on my bookshelf. I'm very shy around women and I honestly don't know how I would keep my composure if I was around any of them. If I could, I wouldn't mind fighting alongside Naruto for that matter.I wonder what I would do if I was Naruto character. After all, my life so far hasn't been completely happy….I've been through quite a bit in my nineteen years. So I find ways to escape the real world through video games and: case in point, Japanese manga and anime. I've been doing this for as long as I remember, after all it's not like the real world is that good to begin with. And I've never been comfortable around people in general. I'm an extremely shy introvert to put it simply.

I pause shaking my head, sadly remembering reality as I turn to my window. _'Keep dreaming Paul. They're fictional people, they're not real,'_ I mentally scold myself, _'even if they were real, Naruto would call you a wuss, and those shinobi vixens would never give you the time of day.'_ I leave my room and go to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I undress and step behind the curtain. After washing up, I get dressed; I put on my favorite brown T-shirt with the month "November" written on it, my beige cargo pants, socks and Cherokee brand shoes. I stop and put on my favorite dark blue bomber jacket with patches of the Osean Air Defense Force that I got when I ordered the Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War special bundle for my birthday. I walk into my sister's room to see how it looks real quick in her mirror. I usually don't glance at myself in the mirror, but I love this jacket. It's got a lot of sentimental value and it makes me feel like a pilot.

My admiration for the jacket is cut short when I notice the light coming from outside suddenly grows dark, rain clouds maybe. I go back to my room, put on my glasses and peer out my window, I'm nearsighted and I usually don't wear them because I detest the way they look on me. Besides, I can get along relatively well without them. To my surprise, the sky is black and covered with stars shining brightly! I turn away, knowing how absurd this is. '_Stars? At 10:30 in the morning? How?…Could it be a solar eclipse?' _I wonder, but then I think, _'No that can't be it! The next total eclipse isn't supposed to come until August 1. 2008! Better call mom and dad…' _Rather unnerved I charge into the living room and grab the phone, quickly dialing my dad's cell. Unfortunately, I hear a prerecorded message telling me the phone is out of service so I slam the phone down in frustration. I then try my cell phone, but I get the same message. Irritated, I plop myself onto the couch and ponder about what to do next. My brainstorming does not go on long, because an obvious thought plows itself into my head.

"The neighbors!" I say aloud. With that I get up and rush out the front door hoping that the neighbors aren't panicking, injured, or worse. That soon turns out to be useless for as soon as reach the street, I find no one. No one out in their yards, no one piling furniture in the cars, no kids running around in frenzy, not even a sound. Shivering, I walk into the street and peer down the road. I blink a few times and begin to walk but I stop….the street looks like it's _stretching_.

"Hello...Is there anyone out here?," I call out in desperation and fright. A warm breeze hits me, and leaves start flying about along with discarded newspapers on the asphalt. I'm about to go back inside when I spot something slowly fall from above. It seems to glow, so I reach out and grab it. I open my hand to reveal a large white feather. It gives off a strangely sweet scent that calms me a little. I snap to full attention when I finally hear something! I place my free hand to my right ear to listen.

'…_..is that….flapping?'_ Yes, a very loud flapping noise fills the air all around me. Soon it grows so loud the sound pounds my head so badly it hurts. A different lament echoes behind me. Turning quickly I see the source of the noise. My heart stops when I see a large swarm of creatures slicing through the air, coming directly at me! In the darkness I am not able to see what it is! I begin to back away but too late. What is flying at me finally gets too close to see what it is: Birds!

"AAAHH! AAAHH!" I scream in horror as thousands of different aviary fiends fly into me. I shield myself with my arms to block them. A great number of them slam into my arms shoulders, and stomach causing sharp welts of pain. For what seems like an eternity the feathered beasts envelop me. Despite what little light I have, I see sparrows, ravens, crows, doves, hawks, eagles, owls, pigeons, herons, parrots, and so on. It takes me a long time to realize that they are not trying to hit me; they are trying to _pass _me. Finally the birds stop coming and pass me completely. The whole event scared me so bad my eyes are watering. To make things worse, the flurry of birds has now been replaced by falling leaves. The sky is still dark, but at least the birds are gone. I can still hear the flapping and crowing still loudly actually. The heavens are still pitch black, but I start to calm a little. However, another feeling of dread comes over me as I hear an indescribable sound off in the distance. I turn to look off in the still star studded sky. Immediately afterwards, a blinding white flash lights up the entire sky, it's so bright I can't see anything! As the light fades, time seems to slow as the speed of the leaves falling slows to a crawl. At that very instant, the sound of birds vanishes, and is replaced by an unnatural silence. Then the crack of an enormous explosion shatters the silence, and a wave of dust hits me like a punch in the face which knocks me of my feet. I feel my entire body lifted and carried into the air and I begin to feel myself being pulled up! It dawns on me that while this has been happening I've been screaming my head off, but the explosion drowns the sound out. Luckily I feel my rag-doll body drop to the ground.

The ground shakes violently as the dust waves hamper my vision, followed by a great shockwave that cracks the lenses of my glasses and all the windows of every house. Thinking I'm hallucinating, it also starts pouring rain so cold it stings. Despite the dust, rain, and gusts pummeling me; I sit horribly dazed on the dirt. Off where the explosion sounded, what I mistake as fireworks are multicolored pillars of flame dancing in the stars. The pillars hang in the stars at first, but then begin plunging down and the houses go ablaze in light. The rain and dust as strong as they are do nothing to put out the flames. Terrified I get back on my feet, and run back into my house. I slam the door behind me, but the winds from outside rips the door from its hinges and causes me to dive into the hallway, barely missing the door as it slices the air behind me. I scurry across the floor as I make my way back to my room. The dust is in the entire house now still blurring my eyes. My vision is clear enough to see that the celestial fire has welcomed itself into my home and burns furiously.

"NNNOOO! HEEELPP! SOMEBODY! HEELLPPP!" my sobs pierce my ears. I throw myself on the floor, pulling a nearby blanket from my bed and wrap it around myself and try to make out my now completely obscured surroundings. Strangely, the only thing I can see are the images of Naruto and his kunoichi costars that I printed. But what's truly amiss are that I can see them perfectly! And the pages are calm and still, impervious to the ensuing maelstrom that has me trapped. I pick them up staring intently at them. I hear a large crumbling sound above me, and look up to see the ceiling cave in! The wood boards fall on smack me hard on the head, knocking me out cold. My vision fades almost instantly and before I completely pass out, scenes and memories of my entire life replay in my mind.

After a while, I hear a voice in my head. _'Hello? Can you hear me?'_ the voice inquires. _'What happened? Am I…dead?'_ I ask. The voice chuckles, then replies, _'No, you're just asleep. Do you want to stay alive?'_ I can't believe what I'm hearing. _'Yes! Of course I do!' _I respond anxiously. _'Then wake up!'_ the voice commands. I slowly regain consciousness and open my eyes. I look around, and see a large waterfall, with trees on each bank. I follow the falls upward and deduce that I'm in a valley of some kind. As I follow with my eyes more, I realize my vision is now perfect! My delight is interrupted when I notice two enormous rock carved statues of men standing on each bank facing each other. I gasp as I examine their clothing, they're dressed like ninjas! The answer to where I am hits me like a bolt of lightning as I notice trees, water, and statues appear as they would in a …anime! I shake my head violently. "The Valley of the End?….'' I shout in disbelief, "NO! This can't be! This is impossible!…AHH! What's that?" I turn to look off in the trees to spot the leaves rustling angrily. Like a reflex, I grab a heavy rock and get into a throwing position. First I'm instantly isolated…..then I lose my home…and now I'm about to be attacked. All I can do now is wait.

That's chapter 1! Hope you all are hooked! Please review and tell me what you think we are all buddies here! I know this chapter was serious but not all of them will be this intense. Thanks! Solo Wing Pixy


	2. The Single Red Wing

_**A/N: **__This chapter will be a bit longer, be patient there will plenty of Naruto and the crew down the road. _

**Chapter 2: The Single Red Wing**

The trees continue to shake, which doesn't make me feel better. The shock of my new situation acts as a heavy weight that glues my feet to the soft grass below my shoes. What will my new visitor look like? A tiger? A bandit? Or worse yet: a runaway shinobi? After a minute or so, a large white bird zips out from the leaves and crashes with a nasty thud right in front of me!

"Oh my god!" I shout. I toss the rock aside and bend down to examine the creature. It's a very large bird, about six feet long with a wingspan of eight feet. I recognize the bird as a crane due to the crimson feathers atop its head and the black ones that run along the underside of its long neck. But what catches my full attention is an arrow stuck in its right wing.

"An arrow? What kind of person would shoot at such beautiful bird…" I ponder aloud. I grab a hold of the projectile and although I know it won't answer me I tell the crane, "I need to take this out, hold still." With a firm but gentle tug the arrow comes out.

"CCAAAAAWWW!" the crane crows in pain, and then drops its head down into my left hand. I can see the agony in the crane's eyes. I carefully pick up the feathered wonder in my arms and carry it to the river. I slowly place the crane in the bank and start splashing water on the wound, which now bleeds quite a bit. After a while the bleeding stops, but strangely enough the blood which bled onto its wing refuses to rinse off, giving its right wing a distinctive red hue. I then take my jacket off and lay it open on the ground, and then I pick the crane up and lay it down on the jacket's lining.

I get up and begin to search for anything to dress the crane's injury. To my confusion and delight, I notice several different things from my house seemed to have followed me. Luckily I find a bottle of peroxide, but no bandages.

'_Damn! No bandages!' _I curse in my mind, _'Oh well, just have to go to the next best thing.' _I immediately remove my shoes and socks. Without hesitation, my hands start ripping my socks apart into long strips. Pouring some peroxide on one folded strip, I place it on the crane's injury causing it to wince. That is followed by me binding the patch down with some of the rest of the ripped up socks. The crane then shuts its eyes; probably to get some much needed rest. I then gently fold its wings inward, and wrap my jacket around it like a blanket. Ironic that a piece of clothing associated with war is now being used to bring comfort to an ailing soul.

"Ho!" I let out a breath of relief, but remembering I'm not entirely in the clear just yet.

"Well, it's not the best patch-up job, but then again I'm not Gregory House." I speak with sarcasm to myself. Feeling tired as well; I plop myself down Indian style next to my new friend. Grabbing another potentially good throwing rock, I begin to guard the injured bird.

'_What happened to all the neighbors and my family? I hope they're okay…' _my mind wonders. After keeping watch for about an hour, the crane stirs and opens its eyes.

I turn to it and stroke its back, smiling. "Feeling better?" I ask. The crane slowly stands itself up and starts stretching its wings. I continue to caress its soft feathers, and rub its head. The crane responds by brushing itself against me. _'You seem a lot better.'_

"Can you fly?" Almost as if it understands me, the crane walks away a couple of feet and starts flapping its wings. With a graceful motion it lifts itself back into the blue sky.

"Watch yourself out there!" I shout to the crane as it disappears over the bushes. After it's gone I start scanning the items from my home to see if I can salvage anything useful. I by chance come across the backpack I use for college. _'Well it's a start…' _I tell myself. Taking a hold of the pack, I continue salvaging. I find the bottle of my favorite cologne;

"Clinique Happy" for men. I figure that it would be a good way to throw off any wild animals by messing up their sense of smell; luckily there is still quite a bit left.

'_What else…ah! My Nintendo DS! At least I won't go bored while I make my way to Konoha…or leaf village…ah whatever. I wonder where all my other consoles went? Did they get destroyed? Oh well, at least my games for it and my gameboy advance games are here.'_ I take anything else that will aid me: a couple of cans of Pepsi, the metal case with my dad's digital video camcorder in it, our sharpest kitchen knife, my Discman and portable CD case, and a garden shovel that can double as a melee weapon. Gathering what I can fit in the backpack, I put my jacket and shoes back on, put on my backpack and hold the shovel with one hand.

'_Now the Valley Of The End is the border between the country of fire and the rice field country, so…I need to go south, and hope I don't get lost. Now, moss grows on the north side of trees, so I just got to move in the opposite direction.' _I take a deep breath and start walking. A couple of hours pass and it is soon nighttime. Deciding that sleeping on the ground would be a bad idea; I find a vine-covered tree and climb high into its branches. Finding a good thick branch with plenty of leaf coverage, I seat myself on the branch and lean against base of the tree. Making sure I won't fall, I hold tightly onto the shovel and drift asleep. When I awake, the sun barely starts to rise making it light enough to travel. I climb down the tree, and confirming the location of the moss on the tree I start off again.

Along the way, I traverse through all kinds of land formations: hills, ditches, tiny streams, steep cliff-like inclines and other obstacles. I still have no idea how far I am from Konoha. _'Then again I've always been a quick walker, so I may be closer than I think.' _

Whenever I spot any dangerous looking animal, I spray some of my cologne in a random spot and climb high in a tree. The cologne seems to irritate their sense of smell and convince them to go another direction. Whenever I get hungry, I use my shovel as a club or even a spear to kill any edible animal that can be eaten raw, like fish or snakes, but mostly snakes. For thirst, I drink from a stream or down a Pepsi. I occasionally sharpen the head of the shovel with a rock. When it grows dark, I find another tree to sleep in. Rinse, wash, repeat. Three days pass, I wake up on the fourth day to hear people! I eagerly climb down, thinking that I've finally reached Konoha. I run toward where I heard the voices. It becomes clear that I haven't found salvation, since my peepers catch a glimpse of a group of very tough looking characters that I don't recognize beating up on another. Thankfully they haven't noticed me so I quickly duck behind a nearby boulder. I quickly take out my dad's video camera and hit record; it tells me that there is about 20 minutes worth of space left. I creep out a little with my eyes locked on the camera's monitor. Gently pressing the zoom in button, the camera gives me a much better look at this group's flunkies. Then that action makes me wish that I hadn't done it when I notice that each of the aggressors all have those holsters used for carrying shurikens!

'_CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! They're ninjas! Wait…maybe they're leaf ninja.' _One of them pulls out a kunai knife and reaches down with his free hand towards their victim and grabs him/her by the head and hoists up that person into better view, showing that person wearing a white mask making him/her an ANBU or tracker ninja.

Another of the group laughs and says, "You thought you could just take us back to prison?" _'Oh hell…' _

The apparently wounded tracker/ANBU ninja groans and tries to reach for something, but one of the now confirmed convicts slaps it out of the ninja's hand. "I say we hang this fool's skin out to dry!" one says eagerly.

"No…I'm in the mood for some torture," another coos. _'What drives people to act this way? The humidity?' _

A female steps up shaking her head. "We don't have time for that! This guy's squad can't be too far behind!" she barks. An imaginary light bulb appears over my head.

'_Lady, you may have just turned the tables without realizing.'_ Placing the camera down with the viewfinder still locked on the crowd, I quickly and quietly open my backpack and get the bottle of peroxide, a shred of my sock, and the kitchen knife. I take the top off of the bottle and stick the piece of sock in it. I tilt the bottle upside down to soak the fabric a little. I then grab the knife and a stone. I start grinding the stone against the blade, which creates some sparks. I look back to the convicts in case they heard me; they seem to be arguing so I'm still undetected. I return to trying to get my makeshift Molotov cocktail lit. After another scrape the stone creates a big spark that lights the sock rag. _'I don't know whether this is really brave or really dense, but they're gonna kill that tracker ninja. And besides, what's to stop them from finding me afterwards?'_ With all the strength my lazy bones can muster, I hurl the bottle into the air. It actually travels a very good distance, soaring high over the fun circle and going even further before CRASH! They all shoot their heads up to see a large bunch of trees go up in flames.

'_Somebody __has__ to see that. It's kind of nice to know my very first flaming spirit is keeping someone alive a little longer provided those yahoos fall for my ploy.'_

"Where the hell did that come from?" the woman exclaims. "Did the squad find us?" another asks.

"No way! They wouldn't give us a heads up like that! Someone else must be over there!" the woman replies.

"Spread out! Some of you put out that fire before the whole forest goes up! Some of you come with me to look for our fire starter!" their leader I guess, orders. He then turns the woman. "You guard this tracker, the moron could be useful." The woman nods in response. The other ninjas take to the branches and start hopping from one tree to another in every direction; one almost spots me! _'I was hoping they would all leave that guy to look for me, oh well the situation hasn't won yet.'_ Before I can do anything else, I feel something sharp poke the back of my neck.

"Don't move," someone tells me.

"Um…good morning?" I blurt out.

"Shut up, turn around." The person commands. My head tilts left to see the ninja woman with a very sour look on her rather pretty face. She brandishes a kunai at my throat.

"Wow, you found me out pretty fast let me say," I joke nervously. Her face shows disappointment.

"Huh? You're just some punk," she scoffs. She scans my fragile person carefully. "You're probably the one who started the fire, you don't look like a shinobi…" she notes.

"That's because I'm not one." I reply. My answer seems to confuse her since her face shifts uncomfortably. I try to think of a way out of this dilemma, but my train of thought derailed the moment she found me. _'If I try to take her, she'll eat me alive…maybe I can reason with her.'_ Right when I'm about to speak, her right foot hits my chest with such a force that knocks the wind out of me, sending me onto my back. "AUGH!" I yelp in pain.

" Who are you?" she demands.

"A concerned civilian," I say simply. That response gets me another boot to the chest. "Wait a minute!" I shout. "I tossed that firebomb so you wouldn't ice that tracker! Besides you didn't want to right?"

She doesn't respond at first, but her eyes harden. "Don't try that bringing out the good in people trick, kid. That's not going to work," She snarls.

The next thing I see is a flurry of shurikens coming from the side, causing the kunoichi to do a back flip allowing her to barely evade. One of the stars cut my cheek, but not to bad. The woman and I both turn to see the tracker ninja on his feet. "What? How'd you come around so fast?" she questions. If my chest weren't throbbing I'd jump for joy. "Damn it, if it weren't for this kid…" she mutters under her breath. The tracker makes a few hand seals and disappears into thin air. I gasp in awe; it's different to see this stuff instead of watching it on a TV or in a manga. My head turns to see the angry female carefully moving about with her kunai ready to strike. Then out of nowhere, the tracker ninja reappears and sticks something on her back. "UH?" the woman gasps and swings the kunai at him, but he simply parries her strike with a katana he whips out suddenly and gives her a right hook to the face which knocks her back. As she falls, whatever he stuck onto her backside sparks and explodes engulfing her in a cloud of smoke.

'_Nice, very nice move.'_ Amazingly, the woman emerges not in bits; however, she doesn't exactly look tiptop. Her clothes are now covered in soot as black as her hair which is now a frizzy mess. She lets out a violent cough, and then gives me a ferocious glare.

"YOU!" with her last bit of energy she tosses the kunai at my direction. Before it can hit me I feel something lift me up and the weapon barely misses me. That something is a rather slender arm around me. It then occurs to me that somebody pulled me to safety as I look over my shoulder to see another tracker ninja, which is another woman due to the obvious bulges on her chest.

"Are you alright?" she asks me in a warm and gentle voice. "I…um…well…ah…. uh…" I nervously reply, but then I remember the bad woman. "Wait, what about that crazy lady over-huh?" My mouth stops flapping as I spot two more trackers binding the runaway shinobi with some type of scroll which paralyzes her I guess. Out of the trees come even more of the tracker ninjas carrying or holding the other runaway ninjas. Then my eyes fall upon the wounded tracker who is now being examined by one last tracker, probably trained in medicine. Also, the fire seems to have been put out._' Wow…looks like I'm finally in the green.'_ I let out an enormous sigh of relief and let my body slump against the woman tracker.

"Are you okay?" she asks again, her voice still caring.

"Yeah…well if you overlook the feet in the chest she gave me, but other than that I'm fine. Thank you." I answer.

After they patch the wounded tracker up, they take a look at me. The medic gives me a pill and a jug of water and tells me to take it. I swallow and tap a sip of water; the pain from my abdomen melts away! I feel much better when the trackers all crowd around me; white masks all bearing down on my person. One-steps up to me, which I figure is the squad leader. "Where did you come from?" he asks me. The lady tracker gently nudges me to give an answer.

"I was walking through the woods trying to get to Konoha when I came upon that group of runaways beating on your buddy. I was the one who started the fire." I respond.

"I think he means what village you came from," the lady tracker says still holding on to me.

"Oh! I…don't remember," I lie. The trackers all murmur and glance at each other.

"You don't remember? Do you remember your name at least?" the leader questions.

"Yes…my name's Paul. I don't remember my last name," I say shyly.

"Huh? Paul? That's an unusual name. I don't think I've ever heard it before," The leader laments. They all seem very interested now; even the runaways who aren't knocked out seem to be paying close attention.

"What do you remember?" the woman tracker asks me. I then give them the story of me waking up at the Valley Of The End and me walking for over 3 days trying to get to the village up to the point where I found the wounded tracker and me using the bottle of peroxide to set the fire. I decided against telling about the solar eclipse and the bright flash in the sky.

"That camera is my dad's, along with the shovel and the backpack." I tell them pointing to each item, "The camera has a recording of the runaways."

The medic picks up my dad's camera then looks at me, "Sorry, but we have to confiscate this, its evidence after all" he tells me. The other trackers open my pack and start going through it. One pulls out my DS.

"What's this?" they ask. "Oh…my Nintendo DS, it's a video game." I answer. "WHA?" they respond.

"We can talk about this later." Their leader barks, "We need to go report to Tsunade." He grumbles. _'Oh, I guess Sarutobi is already gone…I didn't like seeing him being buried. That sucked, stupid snake head.'_ The trackers hoist their captives over their shoulders and give me back the backpack and shovel.

"Um, excuse me." I blurt out.

"What is it? We should get a move on," the medic says.

"Sorry, I know it probably isn't my business but don't you guys usually kill the people you're after? I mean I don't want you to kill these guys but I was just curious." I reply.

"Disposal of our targets is standard operating procedure, but our lady hokage sent us since many other of our shinobi are busy with getting everything back on track since our previous leader was killed," he tells me.

"Oh, yeah? Sorry I brought it up," I squeak.

"Forget it, let's go. Kurumi, give him a ride." The leader says. The lady tracker puts my arm around her shoulder and grabs onto me.

"Hang onto me, kid." She says gently. _'Wow she's nice, must have children I guess.'_ With a huge leap, we all take to the trees and head for Konoha.

_That's Chapter 2, next chapter you'll finally see Naruto and whoever else. Please review_.


	3. Konoha's Blue Skies

_**A/N: **__This chapter will finally have our favorite characters. Jutsus will be in italic as well. Please excuse the slow update. Here goes!_

**Chapter 3: Konoha's Blue Skies**

After the whole incident in the northern woods, the tracker squad safely brings the recaptured criminals and me to Konoha in about a half hour. I spot the village's main gate and at the moment it's a sweet sight. "There it is, great huh?" the injured tracker asks me.

"I didn't think I'd ever make it." I reply half-smiling. Once we enter the gate a relaxed feeling washes over me, the townspeople, the stores, random ninja hopping across the rooftops, and the faces of the dearly departed Hokages on the mountain, along with the newly added face of Tsunade. Masashi Kishimoto is truly a genius. But of all those things, what enters my mind is practically bionic.

"_Where are Naruto and the others?'_ As I look about for the blonde whirlwind and his co-stars, my mind snaps back to attention as the tracker medic taps me on the shoulder.

"The Hokage or someone else will want to talk to you, being a witness and all," he informs me.

"You trackers always take FOREVER to get back!" a very familiar voice shouts. I turn to see who it is and gasp. Out of thin air comes the most hyperactive, knuckleheaded, and pure hearted ninja of all time: Uzumaki Naruto. I stop myself from running up to him and asking for his autograph.

"Hello to you too, whiskers," The squad leader says sarcastically.

"WHISKERS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" Naruto questions angrily, steam coming out of his ears. Everyone starts cracking up while Naruto's teeth sharpen. I smile happily myself, _'Cool! Looks like this squad is okay with Naruto!'_ My eyes dart about to see if Kakashi, Sakura, or my least favorite character Sasuke is around too, yet they aren't. But I don't really care though, _'YES! Sasuke isn't here! I can't stand that grouch!'_ When I look back to face Naruto, he's gone! But the sight of two sapphire eyes popping in front of my dark emerald ones almost makes me jump a mile!

"Who the crap are you?" he asks me curiously.

Forcibly pushing away my shyness, I respond politely; "Hello, I'm Paul. Pleased to meet you," Naruto raises an eyebrow in a dumbfounded look.

"Huh? Paul? What kind of weird name is that?" he asks.

My mind races furiously until I give the best lie I can think of, "Uh… mom and dad wanted something different I guess, and you're Uzumaki Naruto?" I say with my hand out.

"Hee! Hee! You've heard of me, eh?" Naruto smiles confidentially and shakes my hand.

"Yeah, I do recall hearing that you're the best upcoming ninja! The next hokage too!" I tell him, but something occurs to me. _'Uh-oh, better not act like I'm some all-knowing wise man. Don't wanna cause some interdimensional time lapse or something.'_ Naruto laughs and points at me.

"Ha! I get the feeling you and me are gonna get along just fine!" he declares. Hearing him say that makes me feel even better.

"I'd like nothing more…buddy." I respond. Naruto lets go of my hand and glances at the trackers.

"Where'd you find this guy anyway?" Naruto inquires. "Says he woke up at the northern border 3 days ago. Doesn't remember how he got there," another tracker tells him.

Naruto turns back to me, sympathy in his eyes. "Amnesia huh? That really sucks…" he says. _'How can anyone not like this boy?'_

"I'm okay, besides I haven't forgotten everything. And there's plenty of time for the rest of it to come back." I reassure him. Naruto's face brightens again and nods as if to show approval.

"Heh, at least you haven't lost hope!" he comments. The squad leader snaps his fingers,

"Hey! If we delay any longer Tsunade will have our heads!" he grumbles.

"Oh yeah! Let me come with, haven't said hi to the old lady yet," Naruto chirps.

"Whatever, the rest of you take these hardcases to ANBU black ops," the leader orders. The criminals have been unusually quiet but the one female finally speaks up, staring kunais at me.

"Wait! YOU!" she snarls.

"What?" I ask simply.

"Paul was it? You better hope I don't break out again!" she smiles evilly, "Cause if I do, I'll make you pay…you're all I'm going to think about from now on," With her saying her piece, she is dragged off with the other runaways.

"Don't worry," Kurumi says, "We'll quadruple the security on her." She once again gives me a lift as we go to the Hokage tower. Along the way, Naruto remains as lively as ever.

"The old lady is pretty cool! She'll help ya out," he tells me. After a minute or so, Hokage tower stands before us, the place is enormous! _'Wish I had dad's camera.'_ As we walk in, everyone stares at me as if I'm from outer space, even though that isn't too far off.

I hear a bunch of "who is that," "look at those patches," or "why is he with the undertaker squad," and the like. Naruto takes the role of tour guide and describes everything he can to me. Even though I know most of what he's telling me, I appreciate him trying to make me more comfortable. However, the feeling of actually BEING in Hokage tower makes the tourist in me ecstatic.

My eyes scan every single thing and person with speed and precision. After five minutes, I realize we are already on the top floor. That's when I notice some of the jounin; Kakashi, Anko, Kurenai, Gai, and Asuma chatting away at each other, but mostly Gai is talking loudly with a bright flame burning from his body, Kakashi generally looks uninterested as does Asuma. Anko and Kurenai seem to be frightened by Gai's "luminescent" spirit, with Anko spraying Gai with a fire extinguisher.

'_Where do those flames come from?'_ As we start to pass them, Kakashi notices us. "Oh, they're back. Hmm?" he says and stares directly at me. The others stop what they are doing and turn to me as well. I don't mind too much until Anko and Kurenai look at me with their beautiful and passionate eyes, which causes me to blush furiously and turn away. Naruto notices my discomfort and gives me a "what's eatin' you" look. "Naruto," Kakashi calls him. Naruto looks at Kakashi and scurries over to him. Gai magically appears in front of me, teeth gleaming.

"Excuse me!" he says in a booming voice that makes me jump. "I couldn't help but notice your unusual jacket! Very interesting patches, where did you acquire it?" he questions.

"I…uh…it was a gift from my parents." I tell him.

Gai raises his fist into the air and tears run down his eyes.

"UUUUOOOOOO! HOW TOUCHING! A HEARTFILLED GIFT FROM MOTHER AND FATHER TO THEIR CHILD! HOW HIP YOUR PARENTS MUST BE!" Gai declares as his whole body starts to sparkle, causing me to stare with my mouth hanging open. But then I glance about, I must be going insane because I swear that I can hear Gai 's theme playing!

Kurumi shoves him out of the way with my shovel, holding it like a quarterstaff. "Calm down Gai! He just arrived! Wait a little before you give him a brain hemorrhage, yeah?" she barks. I hurry past them and catch up with the tracker squad, and we soon come to a pair of double doors; Tsunade's office I suppose. I quickly reach into my pocket and pull out my cologne for a few quick puffs.

"Come in," someone from inside says. The doors open and we walk in. The lovely Hokage sits behind her desk looking at a mountain of papers that would make Donald Trump have a stroke. Luckily for her, the ever helpful medic Shizune seems to help with the load at her desk. Tsunade looks up at us looking a bit irritated. "Aw damn, I was about to have my sake break." She groans, "oh well, give me your report quick."

After they explain what happened, Tsunade and Shizune both look at me, which sends a shiver down my spine.

"You woke up at the Valley Of The End you say? And you don't know how you got there?" she questions me.

"No, ma'am." I squeak in response. As if sensing my nervousness, Shizune lets out a giggle.

Tsunade stares hard at me and asks: "Did you by any chance run into someone named Orochimaru?" I wince at the mention of my other least favorite character. "NO! I would remember if I ran into that ass clown." I blurt out.

Tsunade chuckles at my response. "Yes, I would too actually." She says. She then turns to the tracker squad and puts her hand out, "Let me see that camera." They give it to her and she connects it to a nearby computer. _'Huh? They have computers? Well if they have TV and radios, why not computers?'_ Shizune types something onto the keyboard and a video player appears on the monitor. Everyone but me crowds around it to watch the recording; out of nowhere Naruto charges by me and squeezes through everybody.

"Hey old lady! Watcha watching-" Naruto starts but is cut off when a fist knocks him into the ceiling with a loud crash and all you see is his feet hanging down.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, DON"T CALL ME OLD!" Tsunade growls. Naruto falls from the ceiling and lands head first. Stars spin around his head, but he soon gets up and zips over to the computer.

When it finishes, Tsunade says; "Everyone excuse us, I want to talk to Paul alone." Everyone nods in response and head for the door. Naruto reaches for the door, but when he opens it Kakashi, Asuma, Gai, Anko, and Kurenai all fall forward and hit the floor.

"OWWWW!" they groan. Naruto looks at them in bewilderment.

"Huh? Kakashi-sensei? What were you all doing?" he asks.

Anko gives him an embarrassed scowl and says, "What? You never seen somebody fall through a doorway before?" Tsunade stamps her foot on the floor causing the whole tower to shake and everyone to quiver in fear.

"I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!" the hokage roars.

"Y-Y-YES MA"AM!" everyone says terrified and runs away. When I turn to Tsunade, she sits calmly with a smile on her face. _'Yow, she's like an earthquake!'_

Tsunade shrugs her shoulders, "Sorry about that, have a seat please." She says, pointing to a chair. I quickly sit down, curious and dreading to hear what she has to say.

"First of all, let me thank you for your instrumental actions in the capturing of the runaway shinobi," she tells me.

"Your welcome ma'am," I reply.

"Please, call me Tsunade. I feel 100 when someone calls me ma'am." She grumbles.

"Ah, right. Sorry, Tsunade." I whimper. "You don't know where you live, hmm? And I suppose you don't know which country you were born in either?" she asks.

"No." I say. Tsunade gives a curious stare. "You could be spy from the sound, you know." She says coolly. My stomach does a 360 when she says that, I start to panic.

"I'm not a spy! Honest I'm not!" I manage to choke out, and to my surprise she starts laughing.

"Relax kid, I already know your no spy. Just teasing you is all," She cackles. I frown at her. _'What the heck? That's not cool…'_ Tsunade says nothing for a few minutes, which makes me nervous.

"Let me ask you one more question, considering you're familiar with my village," she starts again, and asks, "who do you think will be the next hokage after I step down?" Her orange eyes lock onto mine as she waits for my answer.

"I think it will be Naruto," I say with full confidence and Tsunade smiles sweetly.

"Alright, you seem like an okay guy! Tell you what, because you said it would be Naruto I'll set you up with a job here," she starts.

This strikes me as an odd decision and I can't help but ask, "Why would you do that? Even though I have no ninja training? I'm not saying I'm ungrateful or anything, but-" I clam up when Tsunade puts her hand up and says, "You need some way to get money, and besides…every time I ask that question I hear Uchiha Sasuke."

She rolls her eyes after that last part while I grumble inside. _'Why does everyone love that little (censored)?…Oh well at least Tsunade doesn't seem to be that crazy about him either.'_ Whatever nervousness I was feeling before now seems to be going away, but Tsunade's out of this world looks keeps it from dying entirely.

"I just get a good feeling from Naruto, don't you?" I ask, knowing what a stupid question that is. Tsunade blushes and nods her head. "Well, what do you want me to do?" I question her.

"Eh, errands. Just come over to the tower everyday to see if anyone needs you to pick up, or drop off, or-well you get the idea," She explains. _'Huh, doesn't sound too bad.'_

"Okay, now I just need to find a place to-" I start to say before Naruto breaks through the wall scaring the daylights out of the two of us.

"He can bunk at my place!" Naruto offers while eating a bowl of ramen.

Tsunade and I just stare at him speechless for a few minutes until Tsunade says, "Um…is that alright with you?" I look at Naruto, then to Tsunade, and back at Naruto.

"Sure, that'll be great…thank you both," I stammer.

"You're welcome, show him around the village Naruto." She tells the blonde bomber, then looks back to me with a smile, "see you tomorrow." I nod and then Naruto starts hopping up and down like a monkey.

"Come on, let's go! We can go to my favorite stand!" he says happily and starts pushing me from behind towards the door. _'Wasn't he just eating ramen? Wait, where'd that bowl he had go?'_ As he pushes me out, Shizune passes by waving to me. I'm so surprised I almost forget to wave back. However in my stupor I fail to notice that Naruto pushes me toward a flight of stairs and I take a pretty nasty spill down three stories; feet fly up, tumbles and rolls, a couple of collisions with the wall, the whole bit. When I finally stop I black out for a few seconds, on the plus side an ache that was in my back seems to have disappeared. Since I landed on my back I spot Naruto and Shizune staring down at me with shocked faces. They both jump down to see me. Shizune makes a few hand signs and places her hand on my stomach. Within a few seconds my body feels much better.

They help me up, I turn to Shizune and say, "thanks… um Tsunade made me an errand boy for all the nins here so if…." I start saying but Shizune politely interrupts me saying,

"Oh I'll come to you if I need something, and you're welcome. Naruto, try not to hurt him anymore, huh?" Naruto shrinks down to the size of a mouse.

"Sorry…" he says in a tiny voice. With all that said she smiles at me again and walks back up the stairs to Tsunade's office. I follow her with my eyes until she disappears out of sight.

"C'mon let's get going!" Naruto says grabbing my arm, nearly yanking it out as he pulls me outside. _'Well, so much for making a good first impression.'_ As we head out I look back and see the jounin all-staring after us, and again I become flustered and turn away when I spot Anko and Kurenai.

Naruto wastes no time in showing me the village, since I can't leap across rooftops yet Naruto makes a few clones to give me a lift. The first place we come to is-no surprise-the Ichiraku Ramen Stand, with Ayame and Teuchi doing their trick at the counter. I become a bit embarrassed when I notice Ayame. _'Oh right…Ayame…forgot about her. Too bad she's in love with Kakashi…but wait! That was filler for the anime wasn't it? '_ Ayame and her dad bow to Naruto and me as we walk up to their store.

"I don't got any cash, Naruto…" I say as I realize that I don't.

"Don't sweat it. I'll spot you some ryo." He says waving his hand. "Thanks," I reply with a grin.

Ayame smiles warmly and says "Hello Naruto!" she then turns to me and says, "Who is this?"

Naruto turns to me and says, "This is Paul, and he just came to the village."

I nod and add, "Hi…eh, Naruto was showing me around town and this was our first stop."

She motions for us to sit down saying, "Sit down! Sit down! What would you like?" Naruto and I take a seat, and in unison we say, "Miso ramen please!" Ayame and Teuchi both laugh as the two of us glance at each other.

'_Smart…real smart…'_ The two-ramen masters cook up our order and serve us the bowls with some tea. I look with a grimace at the chopsticks given to me, remembering I still don't know how to use them!

"Uh I really hate to ask but can I have a fork?" I ask in shame, with the others looking at me as if I suddenly grew an extra head.

"Wait…don't tell me you've never had-" Naruto starts before I cut him off explaining;

"I've eaten ramen many times, but I just never got the hang of using chopsticks." They all let out a huge sigh of relief; Naruto's being the most profound. They go into a whole elaborate showcasing of chopsticks, their history, and their finer use, etc, etc, etc, etc. However, they lose interest and give me a fork after a couple of minutes. Thank god the food is still hot. I take a slurp of the noodles and my eyes widen. "Holy crap! This is great!" I tell them and start scarfing down the ramen at furious pace, making Naruto angry.

"HEY! NO ONE EATS RAMEN FASTER THAN I DO! HYA!" he screams and matches my eating pace. After a while of eating we both finish at the same time. "You're pretty good…but I'll beat you next time!" Naruto tells me.

I clean my mouth with a handkerchief and tell Ayame and Teuchi, "That was a very good bowl of ramen. Probably the best I've had, thanks."

"You're welcome son, be sure to drop by more often." Teuchi tells me. Naruto pays them the bits for the food and says, "Thanks a bunch guys, gotta finish showing Paul around. Later."

"Goodbye Naruto!" Ayame says and turns to me with, "Goodbye, I like your jacket by the way." I get very bashful and say, "Thanks, maybe I'll see you guys around! Bye." With me saying my piece, Naruto calls up more clones and we take to the air again.

As we progress, we come upon the bookstore Naruto and sometimes Konohamaru visits for "research." Naruto smiles stupidly and says, "I come here to help perfect my Sexy no jutsu. I'd take you inside but if Sakura or one of the other girls caught us, they'd pummel us." Moving on, Naruto then directs me to an apartment building I don't recognize at first. "I think my sensei Kakashi lives here, you know I've never seen his entire face? I think he sleeps with his mask on!" Naruto shouts.

Remembering to play dumb, I say, "Oh right, the guy with the white hair that defies logic?"

Naruto laughs and says "Yeah that's the one. Let's go on." We leave the building and continue to explore Konoha. Naruto then brings me to a large park. I look around, standard run of the mill park. The only thing I find significant is that there is a large staircase from one end of the park that goes down to the other end and goes into a curve when it reaches the bottom. _'Oh wait, this is the park that Lee used to get back into shape after his surgery.'_ There is a reasonable amount of people about; a group of very attractive girls catch my attention for a few seconds. They're just the kind of women Jiraiya would be undressing with his jutsu. _"Speaking of which, where is Jiraiya? Usually him and Naruto are always hanging out…' _I'm brought back to the real…err…well current real world when I hear a large crash off in the distance. The two of us turn back towards the Hokage tower to see a large cloud of dust around the top and a spiky white speck flying into the heavens. _"Ah! There he is.'_

Not bothered in the slightest, Naruto turns to me and starts with, "So this park is pretty cool. I sometimes come here to train." "Right, right." I respond with a nod. We begin walking down the staircase, and then Naruto asks with a grin, "So where did you hear about my upcoming shinobi success?" _'Oh no! I forgot I said that! Think fast…'_

I answer with, "Uh… well I do recall going to the wave country actually…but I don't remember what for exactly…"

Naruto's eyes light up, "Hey! That's where old man Tazuna lives! You ever met him, or Inari or his mom?"

Making my head hurt to keep up the charade, I reply, "Tazuna…no. Doesn't ring a bell, sorry,"

With that, Naruto's eyes darken and his body hunches over with a rain cloud over his head.

"Really? Oh well…I guess it didn't hurt to ask." He groans. I feel bad, lying to him like this, but I don't have a choice. Naruto quickly returns to normal though, much to my relief. Naruto begins talking about how he beat Mizuki, the whole wave country fiasco, the chunin exam with the following sand/sound invasion, and up to the point where Tsunade finally decided to be Hokage. As he tells me his accounts, Naruto reenacts each fight seen with the Kage bushin and Henge no jutsus with amazing detail, but not without some exaggeration in the form of Sakura swooning over him for example. Keeping in mind that he does deserve to brag, I applaud and laugh at the same time. All of the other people I notice pass by with confused or frightened looks on their faces. When he finishes, Naruto bows before me saying, "You should've been there in my glory."

"I bet it was quite a show, you've done a lot," I add. Naruto laughs and makes a muscle with his arm.

We continue walking down the staircase until we reach the other side of the park, where we see Hinata sitting under a tree by herself. I've always liked Hinata; she's the sweet kind of girl every parent would probably want, well except her dumb dad Hiashi. Plus she can hold her own; I think she could beat the other girls if you ignore Temari.

As we get closer, Naruto shouts to her, "Hey Hinata!" She looks around and finally spots us. Like she always does, Hinata starts blushing and the thing with her fingers begins.

"Oh, Naruto! Good morning," She blurts out, but she stops and turns to me with a curious gaze. Before Naruto or I can say anything, we all hear more voices calling Hinata's name. I look one direction to see Neji, Lee, and Tenten walking towards us. Then I spot Kiba and Shino following behind.

"Naruto!" a girl's voice calls, I then look to see Sakura, Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, and (shudder) Sasuke. I grow a bit uncomfortable; I wasn't expecting to have to meet them all at the same time. They all meet up before my eyes and say hello. Sakura, Ino, and Tenten all greet each other warmly with bright smiles on their faces. Kiba and Lee have that "god it's great to be alive!" look on their faces with Kiba giving off a teethy grin; Lee's body is in flames with youthful spirit. Shino grunts something inaudible and Shikamaru and Chouji just grunt in response. Sasuke and Neji? Let's just say I've seen undertakers more cheerful. Naruto tries to give Sakura a hug, and she responds by giving him a belly-to-belly suplex. Naruto crawls in pain back to my vicinity and not a moment too soon because all eyes fall onto me.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asks coldly.

"Oh yeah," Naruto says and tells them, "His name is Paul, he's a foreigner that one of the tracker squads found in the forest. He has a little amnesia; so don't be surprised if he doesn't know much about himself." The girls all show sympathy with their eyes, the guys' show suspicion, go figure.

"Really?" Sakura replies, then looks at me and asks, "What do you remember?"

Clearing my throat, I answer with: "I only remember up to three days ago, I woke up at the northern border. The…uh…. Valley Of The End, I think it's called." They all start murmuring to each other, asking why it's called such.

Not surprisingly, Sakura answers, "I've heard of that place, there are two giant rock carved statues of two shinobi standing on the opposite sides of a river that runs along there. One is the Shodaime, the other shinobi is currently unknown."

Neji gives me a menacing glare and says, "Bit of an odd place to suddenly wake up, don't you think?" I gulp, thinking of a convincing thing to say. _'I better be careful, any one of these kids are able to wear my skull as a cap.'_

I nod in agreement and respond with, "Yes, you have a point. But let me state for the record that I'm not a ninja. Hell, I can't even throw a punch to save my life!"

The gang all exchanges various glances, but I still get the feeling that they're not buying it.

"Uh…I'm a bit thirsty. You guys know where there's a water fountain?" I ask nervously.

"Oh sure, over there." Tenten says pointing of to the left. "Thank you," I reply and scurry to the fountain, my backpack making jingly noises. I hit the button on the fountain and start taking huge gulps. _'That was brutal, Neji and Sasuke are giving me the stink-eye as expected, and I don't think the others feel good about me either…well just have to give it time-'_ A loud gasp rocks me back to earth, also making me inhale H2O.

"What is it? What's the matt-huh?" I start but pause when I notice Neji looking directly at me, but he has veins bulging around his eyes-the Byakugan! _'What was he doing? Was he scanning me?'_ They all crowd around Neji with worry, then that is followed with Neji saying something that makes them all wince. Naruto however seems more confused as if he has no idea what's going on. "Hey, what's going on over there?" I call to them.

Ino runs over to me and says, "He's fine, sometimes Neji's special bloodline can activate itself, probably startled him." I stare down at Ino, bright blue eyes shining. Such a pretty little girl, she got under my skin at first but it was apparent that she was a better friend than Sakura was.

"Huh…okay. You all probably know more about that kind of thing, so I'll take your word for it." I respond.

Ino seems to be more relaxed and she extends her hand out. "My name's Ino by the way, Yamanaka Ino." She introduces herself. I take her hand, which is surprisingly soft, and shake it.

"Hello, Naruto already told you my name…but I'm Paul anyway." I reply.

Ino's cheeks turn a little pink as she asks, "Uh…how old are you?" "Seventeen terrible years," I joke.

Ino laughs and says, "Really? I thought you were younger," _'That's what everybody tells me.'_ The other girls walk over, while Naruto freaks out at the other guys for glaring at me. Lee didn't act cold I noticed, he's cool that way and follows the other girls. Naruto's anger seems to grow and so does the other guys. Two seconds later, a fight erupts and all you see is a big cloud of dust with fists and feet flying out.

As the others crowd around me, I each glance at them.

"Uh…greetings." I say nervously. _'Naruto, where are you? Help!'_

Sakura suddenly asks, "You don't remember anything else?"

I shake my head, and reassure them, "Like I told Naruto, I'm still breathing and there's time for it all to come back. I'm just glad to be back in civilization-YOW!" I push them out of the way and duck at the same time to miss some randomly thrown shurikens that fly at my head. The boys' fight seems to have gotten more serious as shurikens and kunais start showering the air.

Sakura grows extremely irritated as a bright red flame engulfs her. "BAKAS! WATCH WHERE YOU THROW THOSE DAMN THINGS!" she snarls. She grabs a nearby fallen log and swings it like a baseball bat, hitting the guys and creating a sonic boom that vaults them all into the stratosphere.

"Wow. Hey what the farthest you've ever sent someone with one of your blows?" I ask Sakura, to which she puts her hand on her mouth to think.

"About…4 miles? 5? It depends on the angle mind you. Not to mention wind speed and air resistance…" she pontificates while the boys all fall from the sky and systematically hit the ground. As they stand, stars swirl around their heads.

"You all alright-" I begin to ask before Neji interrupts; "DO WE LOOK ALRIGHT?"

'_Well you're telling me off, so yes.'_ Naruto shakes his daze off and runs to my side in which I place my right hand onto his head, and hooray-he doesn't mind.

"Eh, don't mind them. They'd get suspicious about a pencil if they could." Naruto grumbles. "Thanks for sticking up for me, but it's alright." I tell him.

Tenten smiles as she stares at Naruto and me. "You two seem to be friends already." She says.

Naruto smiles brightly and says, "Well sure! Paul's gonna bunk at my place anyway!" This seems to surprise everyone; Hinata however gives me an EXTREMELY jealous glare.

"UUUUOOOOOOOO! ALREADY A STRONG TRUST IS FOUNDED! HOW HIP YOU MUST BE PAUL!" Lee declares as his body starts shining brighter than the sun. Enormous sweat drops forms on everyone's head, and mine too I think. Shino doesn't seem to be bothered though, probably thanks to his shades. While everyone is still in shock of Lee's imitation of a white dwarf star, I glance at Neji.

'_Neji saw something he didn't like, but what was it? I'm pretty sure I don't have a bijuu, although it'd be awesome if I did…I'm thinking too much, I'll probably find out later.'_

"Hey." Shikamaru says to me.

"Yyyyeeessss?" I ask dumbly.

"How did the tracker squad run into you now?" he asks. And once more all eyes fall onto me, and I want to bury my face in the ground like an ostrich.

"Oh yeah, I was wondering about that too." Sakura says. "Eh…it's a bit long, you still want to hear it?" I ask them, and they all nod. Kids. "Alright…well it went like this-" I start and tell them the whole tall tale about my three day hike towards the village, the fleeing criminals, my daring (yeah right) attempt to help the wounded tracker, etc. I once again decide against telling them about the crane I pulled the arrow out of. Just to be funny, I finish with; "…don't forget that there's a 7:00 show as well." Everybody laughs at my pun, but it comes to a screeching halt when one of the girls screams, its Tenten. What is she screaming about? Jiraiya staring at her rear for one. The rest of the girls let out a shriek and immediately take cover behind the other boys. While Sakura and Ino fight over Sasuke, it dawns on Hinata that she's taken hold of Naruto in which she faints. "Ero-sennin? Shouldn't you still be orbiting the planet via the old lady's punch?" Naruto demands. Jiraiya licks his lips, fueling the girls' horror.

As the frogman scans his targets, he says; "So…when's the next time you go to the beach? You were quite stunning Hinata…" Jiraiya compliments the passed out girl. Hinata's eyes shoot open with pure fright to see Jiraiya advancing on her.

"NNNOOOOO!" Hinata cries. Reacting with lightning speed, Hinata gets back on her feet and just as Jiraiya closes in, she responds with a _Hakke Shou Kaiten_ that blows Jiraiya back, causing him to ricochet off a number of trees like a pinball. When he finally stops, oddly enough a scroll falls out and rolls open that reveals the word "TILT." Everyone starts laughing and clapping, but Neji looks dumbstruck. When Jiraiya finally comes to, his perverted mode seems to have been shut off.

"Alright, you win." He grumbles. The spiky haired elder then notices me and suddenly becomes Mr. Serious. He walks right up to me and stares down hard at my face. I glance up at him; afraid he's going to say something bad like I expected Tsunade to. Nobody says anything for a bit, the only thing we hear is birds chirping, leaves rustling, and-a tumbleweed?

"So…" Jiraiya begins.

"Yes?" I ask. He pulls out a book and presents it to me.

"Read my latest volume of Icha Icha Paradise?" He demands with a deranged smile. I blink in amazement while the girls all jump Jiraiya and start pounding him into the ground.

"STUPID! WE THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS!" they all snarl. The guys all shake their heads in shame.

Shikamaru steps up, "Jiraiya-sama you shame us men!" he says while he casually pockets the book as the ladies menace the Fourth's teacher. After a minute, the girls relent their onslaught, as Jiraiya has now become a human flapjack.

'_Everyone is so violent in this story, if it was like this in my world there'd be lawsuits left and right.'_ Jiraiya somehow manages to pull his rickety body up to talk to me again.

"The right side of your face is all scratched up," I say.

"Ah…where was I? Oh you. I haven't seen you before, and I know everyone," He explains to me.

"I think you're losing blood too." I add, pointing to his face.

"Hey he's right ero-sennin." Naruto jars.

Jiraiya doesn't listen as he continues, "How do you like our village? Lotta babes around here, huh? Want me to introduce you to some?" The girls try to move in order to pound Jiraiya again, but are held back by the other boys. Naruto finally gets Jiraiya's attention by poking him in the hand with a kunai. "ACK! What is it Naruto?" Jiraiya asks irritated. Naruto gives him a sneer that would make paint peel.

"The girls roughed you up pretty good, you should go to the hospital." Naruto replies.

"BAH! I've experienced worse!" Jiraiya snaps before turning back to me. "Ignore the brat, young man. Uh…by the way you got a name-?" He is however cut off when Naruto chucks a shoe at his head.

"His name is Paul! AND DON'T IGNORE ME YA FOSSIL!" Naruto growls.

"NOW LOOK HERE YOU LITTLE RUNT! I-" Jiraiya starts before he keels over face first into the ground revealing a bunch of slash marks bleeding profusely. Every just stares and I start laughing. It takes work but Naruto convinces Sakura to give the hermit some treatment. "AH! SAKURA! YOU REALLY DO CARE ABOUT ME-" Jiraiya is cut of by Chouji who covers his mouth.

"Paul, huh? Kind of a funny name, but I guess it has some remote character," Jiraiya ribs me, which gets Naruto to poke him in the hand with a kunai again. Jiraiya glares at him and continues talking to me. "You're not a ninja you say? Well it could be something in my breakfast this morning, but I believe you." He goes on. He begins circling me, looking me up and down. He makes a lot of "hmms" and "uh-huhs".

He starts to make me nervous so I ask him, "What is it?" He stops and looks at me directly.

"Oh nothing, you just don't appear very strong is all." He says. I frown deeply, and Naruto sticks his tongue out at Jiraiya.

"Err…well you gonna do anything or keep looking at him like he's a statue?" Naruto asks.

"Hey kid, you ever read any of my books before?" Jiraiya questions.

"No I haven't." I reply, which gets Jiraiya to turn pale. The girls all look as if I'm made of gold. I blush heavily and stare up at the sky.

"HA! HA! WHAT A WUSS!" Kiba laughs, Hinata responds by elbowing him in the stomach. Kiba turns green and keels over, wow those Hyuuga are a tough bunch. As Jiraiya goes on about me not reading his books the injustice of the ages, I decide to dig through my backpack for a Pepsi.

When I find one, Chouji instantly locks his eyes onto it. "POP! GIMME!" he roars and leaps at me. _'HOLY CRAP!' _With his weight it feels as if a boulder smacks into me and I fly backwards. My back hits a nearby tree with a large cracking sound. I look up to see that tree begins to fall!

"TIMBER!" Shikamaru shouts. Within moments the tree hits the ground with a loud THUD! We all hear a bunch of angry voices.

Things like, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" or "YOU TRYING TO KILL US?"

Jiraiya nervously screams, "RUN AWAY!" Everyone takes off in different directions, Naruto grabs my arm and we take off too. We flee from the park and race all the way to his apartment. When we get to the door we are both cracking up about how fast Chouji ran and other things.

"HOO! What a day, it's getting dark, huh?" Naruto says. I look at the sky, its dusk already!

"Yeah…thanks for letting stay here Naruto." I tell him.

"I got some instant ramen inside, let's heat some up and hit the hay." Naruto coos. He unlocks the door and we both step inside. His apartment isn't that bad, in fact it actually looks bigger than it does in the manga or anime. Naruto walks into the kitchen, opens the cabinet and pulls out two cups of instant ramen.

"Need a hand?" I offer.

He turns to me and smiles, "I got it, but thanks. Sit down." I seat myself at his dining table. I hear Naruto turn on the faucet, then the stove. I look around, scrolls, scrolls, scrolls, scrolls, and scrolls litter the apartment. Oh, and did mention there were scrolls? I hear a whistling noise, probably a teakettle. I look back at the kitchen to see the blonde bomber pouring hot water into the two-ramen cups.

'_Naruto is amazing, I wish I was like him when I was his age.'_ He puts on some oven mitts and grabs the two cups. He brings them to the table, goes back to the kitchen and gives me fork and a cup of tea! He seats himself and pulls the rest of the cup lid off and starts eating and so do I. "Hey." Naruto says.

"Huh?" I respond. "I heard the old lady say she gave you that job. If anyone takes advantage, come tell me and I'll set 'em straight!" he declares.

"I'll do that, thanks," I say chuckling. Naruto shrugs his shoulders and takes a swig of tea. After we eat, Naruto walks to a nearby closet and pulls out a rolled up futon. He lugs it to his bedroom and rolls it out. When he does though, a huge cloud of dust shoots up! It's so thick we both start gagging. He then tosses me a spare pillow and blanket. I put them on the futon, I place my backpack by his bed and take off my jacket and shoes and socks. As Naruto hits the lights we both climb under the covers. "We're both probably going to be worked till we drop, but it's a living." Naruto says.

"Right," I reply. I look at him as he is now in his PJs with that cool nightcap on.

"G'night," He says and starts snoring.

"Goodnight Naruto," I say and drift to sleep.

_That's chapter 3, better than the last two I hope? The rate of updates will vary. Sorry._


	4. The Sky Is Clear But The Ground Is Busy

_**A/N**__: First of all I'd like to thank my first fan darkdork15, and I hope everyone else will start to read my story. Even if they don't I'll keep going!_

**Chapter 4: The sky is clear, but the ground is busy.**

Early the next morning, music playing wakes me up. I turn to see an alarm clock on a nightstand next to Naruto's bed. My ears catch the lyrics:

"_sousa kanashimi wo yasashisa ni_

_jibun rashisa wo chikara ni_

_mayoinagarademo ii arukidashite_

_mou ikkai mou ikkai!"_

'_WOAH! AWESOME! THE THIRD OPENING!'_ I sit up from the futon and start singing along with the song while moving in rhythm with the music.

_dareka no kitai ni zutto kotae_

_homerarerunoga suki nano desuka?_

_naritai jibun wo surikaetemo_

_egao wa itsudemo suteki desuka?_

_hajimaridake yume mite okiru_

_sono saki nara itsuka jibun no ude de_-**CRASH!**

However my little jam session hits a flat note when Naruto leaps from his bed and stabs the clock with a kunai knife! Heartbroken, I ask; "NARUTO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

Naruto turns to me; eyes all bloodshot and replies, "I thought we were under attack….wait, were you singing?"

All the blood rushes to my face and I say, "No…."

Naruto shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, remind me to buy a new alarm clock. Come on, let's get ready for today." We get up and leave the bedroom, where Naruto points to the restroom. "I'll get breakfast started, why don't use the washer and the shower to give you and your clothes a rinse? You smell like an old greenhouse." He walks to the kitchen leaving me to think, _'what does an old greenhouse smell like? Did my cologne wear off?'_ I head to the bathroom to find there are a washer and dryer in there. I remove my threads and toss them into the washer, add a little soap and get it started. I move into the shower and rinse off while the washer goes, and it finishes when I do. I dry off and put the clothes to dry, since there isn't that many it also finishes rather quickly. Pulling my clothes back on I walk to the kitchen where I spot Naruto making more instant ramen.

In a few moments we both seat ourselves down and have another eating race. "I got to say…you really are good at eating ramen…" Naruto says since we got another draw.

"Eh, I eat it every now and then," I tell him whilst taking a sip of tea. _'Wow, can't get tea like this back at home.'_ After our meal, I pull my shoes and jacket on while Naruto puts on his jumpsuit and headband. "Hey Naruto, is there a place I can put this extra stuff from my backpack?" I ask him, and he points to an empty bookcase. I unload everything except my DS and the games, and my cologne.

As I put some on, Naruto asks, "You always put that stuff on?" "Yep, whenever I leave my house." I reply.

"Huh, hey let me try that." Naruto says and sprays some on his body, he smells it and says, "Hmm. Smells alright." While he examines the bottle, I hear a tapping on the front door.

"Someone's a knockin', I'll get it." I tell him and walk over to the door and open it to see Kakashi's face, the guy always looks like he wants to go to sleep.

"Hi, how you doing Kakashi?" I greet him, bowing.

He simply walks past me and calls out, "Naruto?" I give him a confused stare. _'What gives? What am I not here?'_ I turn towards Kakashi who looks about for Naruto; I've always been kind of lukewarm towards him. Don't get me wrong, Kakashi is a strong ninja what with the sharingan and all but there are times when he seemed mean to me. Especially the way he treated Uchiha Obito before he died, but at least he took Obito's famous line to heart, and there are times when he's a real badass…I guess he doesn't trust me yet either. But that's okay; maybe he'll come around later.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto cries and gives him a hug, much to Kakashi's irritation.

"Wha? Get off me Naruto!" he grumbles. Naruto stops and looks up at him,

"Wait, you at my apartment at 8:15? WHO DIED?" Naruto exclaims. The only sound I hear next is the pumping of blood through a shiny red vein on Kakashi's head.

"I DO get up early like everyone else you know." Kakashi says.

"So what's up? Is there a mission going on already?" Naruto asks.

"Uh…well I guess you can call it a mission, but it's a more of a "stay alert" thing at best," Kakashi explains. I keep quiet, I have a suspicion that he's referring to me but at the same time I doubt it, after all what can I do?

"The hell? Make sense Kakashi-sensei! I'm ALWAYS ON ALERT!" Naruto declares raising his fist in the air. Kakashi chuckles and so do I, but discreetly.

Kakashi finally turns to face me and says, "Hmm? Oh, that's right, you invited the foreigner to stay with you." I grimace at my new title. _'Thanks, broom-head.'_

Naruto frowns at Kakashi, "His name is Paul, and you're just as bad as Ero-sennin, sensei."

The shiny red vein reappears on Kakashi's head to which he says, "I have much better manners than Jiraiya!" _'Not right now you don't.'_ Kakashi then says, "Well, you both should go see Tsunade and ask if she has anything you two can do. Bye."

Kakashi turns and heads to the doorway, as he comes toward me I say with a wave, "See you later." However, Kakashi ignores me completely once more and exits out the door, shutting it behind him. I make a sarcastic grin at Naruto and say, "Chatty guy." After we get ourselves together, Naruto and me leave the apartment and walk to Hokage tower. When we get to Tsunade's office I take a deep breath and motion for Naruto to go first, to which he gives me confused glare.

"Why do you get all spooky whenever we come here…?" he asks and leads the way in. As we go in we see Tsunade writing on various documents looking like she wants to commit suicide. "Hey, Tsunade-Sama! How are you today?" Naruto asks cheerfully while I simply say good morning in a mousy voice. When she doesn't respond, Naruto and I glance at each other then turn back to her. "Hey, Tsunade!" Naruto calls out at her, still nothing. "Hey, Old Lady!" Naruto shouts and then we both cover our heads with our hands, but yet again no response. _'Uh-oh, this is serious. Usually calling her old lady gets you the Fist of The North Star.'_

After we lower our hands she finally says, "They keep coming…"

"What?" Naruto and I both ask, and then Tsunade starts shaking.

"…No matter what I do…they keep coming…" she says in cracking voice, "The documents…they keep COMING! AAAH! AAAAAAH!" The Fifth starts losing it like she's having a nervous breakdown. Naruto and I hop back in fright, that's when I see Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune zoom past us to her aid and not a moment too soon.

The three female Jounin all throw their arms around their commander and attempt to calm her down. "Tsunade-sama!" Shizune cries in alarm.

"Tsunade-sama please!" Kurenai cries with her, and Anko adds, "Get a hold of yourself please!" Tsunade lifts all three of them with her Herculean strength, but they persevere and gain their footing again. Tsunade starts to calm some and she seats herself back in her chair, Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune all pant heavily as if they had just took down a tank.

"Calm…calm…" Tsunade says weakly. The three women turn to Naruto and I, still in shock of what we just saw.

"THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HER?" Anko demands angrily. I struggle to say something, but Naruto says in our defense, "We just said hi! But she mumbled something about these papers and she just lost it!"

"We're sorry, we weren't sure what to do." I choke out.

"It's alright, just go and bring Tsunade something to eat and drink." Kurenai tells us. We both nod, and then I get an idea and reach into my backpack and pull out my DS along with the games and give it to Kurenai.

"Here, the game in this has a poker minigame she might like. Just turn on the power and use the stylus on the lower screen to select the top slot and go from there." I explain. She looks it over in wonder and curiosity, while the two of us exit stage right.

"Wow." Naruto says.

I just shake my head and say, "I've never had a job, if that's what I might have to put up with…"

We start walking away from the office; Naruto asks me, "Hey what was that silver plastic thing you gave Kurenai-sensei?"

"My Nintendo DS." I say which gives Naruto a dumbfounded look.

"Your Nintenda-D-what now?" he questions. I laugh which causes him to give me an irritated glare.

"My Nintendo DS, the DS means "dual screen"." I explain.

"Huh? You mean its got two? What does it do?" He asks. As we walk I explain everything and Naruto nods every two seconds, when I'm finished, Naruto says, "That sounds GREAT! Where did you get that thing?" _'Oh god damn it…'_

"OH! Uh…someone named…eh…Miyamoto! At least I think it was Miyamoto…" I answer quickly.

"Huh…you have to let me play that thing." He tells me. I let out a sigh of relief and we are now outside the tower.

"What should we get for Tsunade?" I think aloud. Naruto gives me a teethy grin and says,

"Some ramen from the Ichiraku stand should perk her right up!" _'I'm not surprised…'_

"We could, we could, but does Tsunade like ramen as much as we do?" I point out to him.

Naruto's smile disappears and replies, "Hmm…come to think of it, I'm not sure she does…damn!" Naruto plops himself down on the ground and I seat myself next to him.

We both say nothing, as we both think to ourselves. I get an idea, and ask Naruto, "Hey…uh the first time you met Tsunade where was it?" He glances at me with those all too familiar slitted eyes he makes sometimes.

He responds with, "It was at some bar…uh, hey!" His eyes brighten a little. "I remember what we ate there too! It was just some appetizers, but maybe the memory will cheer her up! C'mon let's go hunting!" he declares. He takes a hold of my arm again and we take off. The speed we move about would put the Flash to shame. After about a half an hour, we find a place that gives us what they ate that day. Naruto orders it, so I don't know what it is. When we get the food, Naruto says, "Since we're out anyway, why don't we-"

I finish for him, "Buy something for Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune?"

He nods in response and adds, "Yeah, just in case they're irritated with us, I know Anko-sensei was. I have an idea what they might like, follow me." So we go to another place, and then that dango shop where Kakashi found Itachi and Kisame. By this time we both are carrying to-go boxes as we hurry back to the tower. As we charge up the steps, we constantly struggle against not tripping and dropping the food. When we finally come back to the office, Tsunade is still accompanied by the three jounin. They crowd around the Hokage, all in awe of the DS.

Then Tsunade makes a defeated face and says, "AW! I died! How do you kill that jumping block monster?"

"Um, you have to jump above it, then press down to do a power stomp." I answer. They all look up to Naruto and I in surprise, with hints of red on their faces.

"Ah! Paul? This is yours?" Tsunade asks in surprise.

"Yeah, wait…I was here with Naruto not too long ago when I gave it to Kurenai and said you could play it! Don't you remember?" I ask. Tsunade makes a confused expression,

"Ummm….." the Hokage responds.

Shizune lets out a sigh and says, "That episode she had hit her pretty hard…huh? What's all that?" She points to the boxes.

Naruto smiles and explains, "We got food for you guys as well! Seeing the trouble you went to calm the old la-I mean, Tsunade down."

"REALLY? GIMME!" Anko shouts hungrily and snatches the boxes away and slams them down on Tsunade's desk. I stare at my hands, which were full a millisecond ago.

"How thoughtful, thank you!" Kurenai tells us.

"Thank Naruto, he paid for all of it. I didn't have any money to help out." I make it clear.

"Huh? But you helped me think of what to get for Tsunade!" Naruto interjects.

"You could've thought of it on your own." I reply back.

"Yeah…but you helped me carry them!" He exclaims with a triumphant smile.

"You could've used the _Kage Bushin no Jutsu_." I reply again, simply.

Naruto grows irritated and says, "Eeerrrr! You're acting like Hinata! CUT IT OUT!" I start cracking up, and he gets angrier and punches me on the shoulder. _'No Naruto, Hinata would be nicer about it.'_ "He's being dumb right now, but he helped me think of what to get! Do you remember those appetizers Lady?" Naruto jars at Tsunade.

"Yes I do, thank you both," Tsunade replies in a motherly voice. Scratching my head, I say, "I'm going to go see if there are shinobi who need me for something."

"Hey, let come too-" Naruto begins before Tsunade cuts him off by saying, "Hold on Naruto, I need you do something for me!" Naruto slumps down, the dark rain cloud appearing over his head again.

"I'll see you later dude, don't worry about me." I reassure him.

"Okay, but there are some people in the village who don't like me and they might give you crap about staying at my place. So watch it." He says in a solemn tone.

I nod but before I leave, Tsunade calls me, "Hey kid, take this." She tosses me a bit of cash then asks with an embarrassed smile, "Can I play this some more?"

"Sure, thanks for the cash." I answer and excuse myself while bidding goodbye to the others.

On my own once more I make my way outside the tower and take a deep breath of the fresh air. Many different ninja wander about the grounds around the tower and I begin asking for any little jobs I could do, but unfortunately many of them give me the cold shoulder. I glance at what Tsunade gave me, a package of coins. I have no idea if it's a good bit of cash or pocket change. _'Crud…I should've asked Naruto how much this is…well if people start treating me like a hobo I'll get the answer.'_ Still no work to do, maybe me talking like I'm short on air probably isn't getting me anywhere come to think of it. After a long time of asking, one group of ninja answers my call.

"Huh, work? Yeah…I think I got something you can do. One of the others, a guy hands the ninja I'm talking to a small package with a note attached to it. "See that tall yellow building way over there?" He points off into the distance; I see a yellow building near the village gate. "Take this package to a house with a red roof next to it. My friend lives there and he'll pay you some if you say I sent you. I'm Kaji by the way." He instructs me.

"Ah, alright. Thanks." I say and begin to head off towards the yellow building. After walking for a long time I reach the building and find the house with the red roof. I knock on the door, no answer. "Hello?" I call out. I knock again and the door opens. "Hello?" I call again and enter. I shut the door behind me and call out again, "Excuse me! I was sent by someone named Kaji and I…" I examine the note as I talk, "…have a package for…I.C. Weiner?…Aw man…" That Kaji guy tricked me, what an ass. I find a nearby chair and decide to sit down. _'And all that time I could have been doing something constructive.'_ I look around; the place is pretty shabby looking. Now that I realize it the other houses about all look abandoned! I put my hands on my face, cursing my stupidity. But before I can do anything else, I feel someone grab my arms and force them behind me! "Hey! What goes on here?" I exclaim. I feel my hands being bound to the chair with rope, and then a small crew of people surround me all wearing different masks. "Who the hell are all of you?" I shout.

They tie my back to the chair as well and then one answers, "Whenever a foreigner comes to Konoha, they usually cause trouble. Especially if they know that demon brat." My temper gets worse since I know he's referring to Naruto. It really burns me up (though I know I'm not the only one) when he's called such.

"Listen sir. First of all, for the gazillionth time I AM NOT A SHINOBI. And if you call Naruto a demon again, shinobi or not I'll kick you're a-ACK! " I say before someone bashes me on the head.

Then another says, "We'll leave you alone now to cool off. See ya," They all start to leave, and I start to panic.

"Hey! HEY! YOU DITCHING ME? COME BACK AND UNTIE ME YOU JERKS!" I scream at the top of my lungs. After their gone my mood grows worse and I start cursing myself again. _'DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB!'_ After a couple of minutes I try to slip my wrists through the ropes, no luck. I next try to rip from the chair, that doesn't work either. Growing agitated again I attempt to wiggle out of the chair, instead I start getting rope burns. Now I throw a total fit and begin kicking and thrashing and the chair tilts to the side and my idiot self hits the floor with a loud CRACK! The pain dulls my rage and I just lie there for a bit, my mind racing furiously. _'Crap, what did Richard Dean Anderson do in that one episode of MacGuyver?'_ I thought I would get cussed at or get a brick thrown at me from any Naruto-haters, but nothing like THIS. Mustering what upper body strength (and a whole lot of demented fury) I have, I try to lift the chair back into upright position. And success! I actually get the chair standing again. _'Well, it's a start.'_ Thankfully my legs remain free and by tilting forward I get my footing again, enabling me to walk. I eagerly and carefully rush to the door and nudge it open with my head, then continue out but something stops me.

"Eh? What gives?" I think aloud and look behind me, I fit through the door but the chair is stuck! _'Uuuhhh, give me a break.'_ I look up and down the street, there's nobody around. Still, I call out, "Hello! Can somebody turn me loose?" Silence there and nothing more. I sigh flatly and attempt to force the chair through the doorway; I manage to do so yet smacking my head against a support beam.

I decide against asking somebody to cut me free and to just go back to the Hokage tower and hope either Tsunade or Naruto will free me and save me from mass embarrassment. It'll be hard since a large part remains on whether or not anyone spots me, and there's a chance I might run afoul of more anti-Naruto fanatics. So off I begin my pilgrimage through the back streets and alleys of Konoha's urban jungle. As I race through the deserted areas of the village I can't help but admire the architecture of the different buildings and homes. Even though I am alone in these back ways, the sound of the common folk is still present in the ol' eardrums. After about ten minutes I hit a dead end, did I take a wrong turn somewhere? I start to turn around but I begin to hear something else, and it drowns out the sounds of the townspeople. I look about, just a bunch of trashcans. Where is the noise coming from? _'Wait…did that trashcan just move?'_ I gasp as a swarm of rats pour out of the trashcans and begin to surround me, and they look hungry!

I start getting nervous and I shout out, "ASSISTANCE! Naruto? Tsunade? Kakashi!…. Orkin Man?'' With that said the rats all advance on me at full force. What ensues is a frenzy of vermin combat. I immediately start kicking at the rats whilst trying to keep my balance; I actually manage to knock some of them away but then the rats start leaping onto my back! Without thinking I forcefully seat the chair onto the ground with a loud thud, which dazes the little rodents, but only for a moment, so I repeatedly slam the ground with the chair knocking any more on my back off. The rats refuse to relent, as they grow angry.

**(CUE GO GO NARUTO!)**

'_Huh? Where's the music coming from?'_ In a surprise maneuver to the rats and myself, I begin spinning around like a whirlwind. The more rats that come, the faster I spin. I eventually grow dizzy so I change my battle plan and frantically run in order to find higher ground. As I race down the alley my furry adversaries follow me along the fences, and so I respond by periodically kicking the fences with my enormous feet creating waves in the wood frames thus launching them off into the distance. I spot some steps and race up them, the rats still hot in disease-ridden pursuit. After climbing the painfully long staircase I reach the top, but get my left foot stuck in a bucket. That doesn't stop me however; as the rats catch up I begin making sweeping motions with my left, bombarding the little buggers with cold, hard, plastic. All the kicking starts to fatigue me, and eventually all of the rats are back in full force. I quickly look around for anything that can aid me, and I spot some large industrial size barrels full of rainwater. As the rats close in, I quickly rush to the barrels and begin to ram my body against them. After one big shove, I hear a crack and all the water from every barrel comes pouring out, creating a small wave of water. FWOOOOSSSSHHH! The rats are all swept away in an instant as the h20 hits the swarm. I let a huge sigh and seat the chair down near the edge of the hilltop. _'What an ordeal.'_ I'm knocked out of my relaxed state when I hear a snap and I feel the chair fall backwards! The back end hits the ground that makes my teeth rattle. I almost start to calm down when I feel the chair start sliding down the hill! _'Oh no! No! No! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!'_

Like a Swiss bobsled, my wooden companion races down the hill at a furious speed. As if this wasn't bad enough I start smacking into a bunch of rocks and bushes. One of the impacts swings me around so I'm facing forward. I gasp in terror as I spot my stopping point: THE HOT SPRINGS!

"AH! COME ON!" I shout out. As I close in near the water, to my surprise I hit very large rock that acts like a ramp and into the air I go. To my delight, the rock vaults me clear over the women's section instead of into it. _'WWWHHHOOOO! IF I ONLY HAD A PAIR OF FLAGS…'_ But streaks of luck usually come to an end, as my eyes spot a screaming Jiraiya frozen on the outside fence directly below me as I fall.

"SWEET MOTHER OF BUDDHA!" Jiraiya cries. He tries to run, but too little too late. My feet smack Jiraiya in the face and we both topple into the spring water where Naruto was practicing walking on water with Ebisu.

**(GO GO NARUTO! ENDS)**

Thankfully I left all my electronic stuff back at Naruto's apartment or with Tsunade. The hot spring water soaks me completely, but I got a problem; I'm still tied to the chair! I instantly start to choke, but then I feel myself be lifted out of the water. I cough up some of the hot liquid and turn to look at my rescuer, to find my eyes staring into those of a very wet and very angry Jiraiya.

"YOU LITTLE PRICK! I'VE GOT A GOOD REASON TO-huh?" he starts but then he notices I'm tied up and calmly asks, "Um…why do you have a chair on your ass?" I quickly explain everything about that twat Kaji and those Naruto bashers and how they tied me up which led to this moment. "Hmm, considering the stuff I've seen in this village over the years, what you're saying makes perfect sense." He responds. He pulls a kunai knife and cuts me free.

"Thanks a ton, I was afraid you wouldn't believe me." I say graciously.

Jiraiya waves it off, "Sadly, despite what good Naruto has done here, there are some who might not ever accept him. Sorry that you've been pulled into it as well."

"Don't apologize. I took Naruto's offer to live with him, so it's my own fault." I reply.

"You said a ninja named Kaji put you up to it? Why does that name sound so familiar? Let's ask Tsunade." He says. He picks up the rope and chair and we both head back to Hokage tower. Everyone stares oddly as we walk dripping wet up to the office. When we come in, Tsunade takes one look at the two of us and bolts out of her chair.

"What's going on? Why are you two soaked?" she asks, confused. We explain the whole ordeal and ask if she knows of Kaji. She grows angry and says, "Yes I do, and he's one Danzo's dogs. Come with me." As she gets up, I grow amazed. _'Danzo? Wait he's not supposed to appear until the Naruto II story arch! This doesn't feel good…'_ We follow Tsunade as she looks for Kaji. We find him talking to some others of Konoha's denizen. Tsunade taps him in the shoulder and he turns to face the Hokage who has now tripled in size.

"Hokage-sama? W-what is it?" he asks fearfully.

"Did you hire this boy to deliver a package to someone named I.C. Weiner?" she demands.

"UH…. I mean…well…I…" he stammers.

"Huh, did you just get paid?" Jiraiya asks with a sly smile.

"…well…yeah..(POW!)" he is cut off when Tsunade gives him a titanic right hook that sends him into a nearby wall faster than a bullet. The impact knocks an envelope he was holding out of his hands and Tsunade happens to catch it. "DAMN!" I say aloud.

A passerby says, "YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Tsunade then turns her attention to the other ninja who now quiver in fright.

"ALL OF YOU LISTEN TO ME" she starts and then grabs the back of my jacket and lifts me up with one hand! She waves me about for everyone to see. "I HIRED THIS ONE FOR OUR CONVENIENCE. NOT AS A PRANK MONKEY." She explains, voice booming. "I'M EXPECTING YOU ALL SHOW HIM COMMON COURTESY AT THE VERY LEAST." She sets me back down and as soon as she does every single shinobi about comes forward and extends their hands in greeting. Pleasantly surprised I begin shaking hands and say hello. _'They're being nice now, but I wonder how long it will last?'_ They all quickly go back to their business. I turn to the Hokage who smiles and hands me Kaji's envelope and says, "And here's your payment for that last errand."

"Thanks for sticking up for me." I answer. Tsunade shakes her head and replies, "Forget it, you're Naruto's newest friend and you already got your first share of trouble. I'm sure Jiraiya already told you, but you NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL. Especially since you have no training at all," I nod and Tsunade continues, "Well I have to go back to the never ending paper stack. You should call it quits for today." She waves bye and returns to the tower. Jiraiya stares at her hips move. He turns to me and says

"Heh…I got something I need to check on…later." He follows Tsunade into the tower. I begin to walk away, but I stop and turn back to the tower. _'One…two…three…four…'_ CCRRAASSHHH!

"AAAAIIIIEEEEEE!" Jiraiya screams as he rockets from a newly formed hole protruding from the tower. _'Huh! I think that's the fastest I've seen!'_ I resume traversing from the tower grounds when I spot Shizune walking quickly towards me.

"Hi! What happened here?" she asks.

I shrug and answer, "Jiraiya tried to get fresh with Tsunade."

Shizune blinks once and replies, "No, that's a common occurrence here. I mean why was Tsunade-sama yelling at the top of her lungs?"

I scratch my head and explain, "Well…remember when I told you she hired me for little jobs around here yesterday?" Shizune nods. I continue with, "There was this shinobi named Kaji who…" I go and tell her the same thing as I told Jiraiya and Tsunade.

"I'm sorry about that, not all of us are so immature." She says with a sympathetic look.

"EEHHH? SAY THAT AGAIN?" I hear a familiar voice. We turn to the right to see Naruto standing there with steam coming out of his ears. "IT'S INJUSTICE! MUTINY! MUTINY THAT IS!" he snarls.

"Relax little buddy. Tsunade already gave that guy a what for." I tell him. Shizune places a hand on my shoulder, and it feels like a surge of energy rushes through me.

"I feel he was let off to easily, it's highly unprofessional to act the way he did." She says. "Hold on, she gave me his pay as a punishment. Here, look." I present the envelope and a smile spreads on Shizune's face while Naruto's eyes light up in an ecstatic blaze.

"SWEET JUSTICE!" Naruto shouts then turns to Tsunade's office window and says,

"OLD LADY YOU ARE WISE!" The next thing we notice is a flurry of kunai that come raining down from the window. Naruto hops to one side while Shizune grabs my shoulders and pulls me to safety.

Tsunade pokes her head out with a fist saying, "DAMMIT! I'M NOT OLD!"

Naruto smiles with a relieved look and suggests, "Hey let's go to the ramen stand! Shizune-sensei, wanna tag along?" I jolt uncomfortably when he says that.

But before I can say anything she responds with, "I'd like to, but if I leave Tsunade by herself she'll get drunk instead of doing her work!" she smiles when she says that last part, and then I hear Tsunade's voice again.

"YOU'RE A FUNNY WOMAN SHIZUNE!" she grumbles loudly.

"Well, please go on. I'll talk to you both later." She bids us goodbye and hurries to her master. "Are you afraid of Shizune-sensei?" Naruto asks innocently. I look back at him with some irritation. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"Whenever we're around the old lady, Shizune, Anko, or Kurenai sensei, you get all nervous and clam up!" he explains.

"I…I…get shy…that's all…" I explain, feeling my face turn red. The mood is disrupted when we both hear a loud gurgle.

Naruto stares at his stomach and says, "Well, never mind all that. Let's go see Teuchi and Ayame." The two of us begin walking, passing by Kaji who is still incapacitated from Tsunade's punch. "Who's that?" Naruto asks.

"That's the one who tricked me." I reply with a sour look. "Oh." Naruto says, and then he runs up to him and buries his foot into Kaji's back with loud SMACK! "Okay, now let's go." He declares happily. He quickly runs ahead, but before I move something catches my attention. On the ground a couple of feet away, a single white feather travels across the gravel, the wind carrying it. I stare at the feather then I look upward to the heavens. _'The crane…no it didn't follow me did it?'_ "HEY! MOVE IT PAUL!" Naruto yells into my ear, bringing me back to the now.

"Sorry…" I apologize as we go to our destination. At the ramen stand Naruto zips up to the counter and I calmly seat myself beside him.

"Welcome back." Ayame greets us sweetly.

"I'll pay for your first two bowls Naruto." I offer. "AWESOME! THANKS!" Naruto exclaims. We place our orders and talk as they cook it up.

"You should've fought back when they nabbed you." Naruto scolds me.

"They caught me completely off guard! Besides there was over eight of them!" I say in defense.

"That's it! After this I'm teaching you how to fight!" Naruto says, pointing at me.

"Huh? Well I guess…I'm in okay shape after all…" I lament.

"I can't protect you all the time. You gotta be able to hold your own around here!" Naruto adds as Ayame serves us our ramen. She gives a fork and I say thank you, Naruto has already inhaled one bowl and orders another.

"He's going to teach you? That's the most adorable thing I've ever heard!" Ayame giggles.

"You should be able to use your fists at least…" Naruto grumbles. I eat one bowl while Naruto polishes off seven, a light lunch by his standards. As promised, I pay for his first two bowls but he gives me puppy dog eyes so I end up paying for a third bowl. We say our goodbyes and go back to the park we were at yesterday. After finding a section that's unoccupied, Naruto stands directly before me with his hands on his hips. "Alright, now come at me with full force!" He commands.

I just stand there and say, "Uh…you mean just rush at you?" I ask. "YES! HURRY UP!" he roars. _'He's going to wail on me so bad…'_ Putting my fist up, I charge at Naruto and try to punch him, but Naruto ducks and slams his knee into my stomach knocking the wind out of me. Feeling sick, I drop to the ground. Naruto stares down at me in disbelief.

"WHA? COME ON! THAT WAS YOUR BEST?" He demands.

"…Yes…" I wheeze. "THAT CAN"T BE! YOU HAVE SOME MUSCLE TO YOU! GET UP AND TRY AGAIN!" he barks. _'Okay…who's been training to be a ninja from birth?'_ I force myself up and get ready to charge again. I rush at him once more and he responds by tossing me into a nearby tree. "Damn…this is going to take longer than I thought…" Naruto jars. He pulls me down from the branch and tells me to do twenty push-ups while he sits on his back. Normally I would be uncomfortable about it, but not with Naruto. I get on the ground and do the push-ups, but when I finish my arms hurt.

"Don't you do any exercise at all?" he asks with a frown. "I swim more than anything, that's where I get what little muscle I have." I respond.

"Swimming huh? Well that's a start…" he says then continues with, "Okay I'm going to show you some basic attacks from the Uzumaki style of taijutsu!" He makes a fighting stance and punches the air twice. He turns to me and says, "Make a stance beside me and do what I do." I nod and take my place beside him and we go and practice some simple punches and kicks, but Naruto makes up a bunch of exaggerated names like the "Uzumaki strike" or the "Naruto blazing kick." After about an hour of practicing he stops me as I am winded a little. "Now, try to attack me again." he commands. I take up a fighting stance and punch at him, to which he simply blocks. I throw in a kick here and there and he systematically blocks each blow. He stops me again and tells me, "Hmm, that's a little better. But there's still a lot of room for improvement."

"Yeah…my arms aren't that sore anymore either…" I add.

"Why are you so down for? You look so depressed!" Naruto asks with a scowl.

"It's a long story, but that don't matter none. Come on, let's continue." _'After all, Naruto is the star. Not me.'_

Naruto shrugs his shoulders and tells me, "Okay, let's see how you do with a kunai." He digs into his holster and produces two kunai. He hands me one and shows me the proper way to hold it. "Now a simple way to attack is like this…" he begins and demonstrates a slash and stab motion and I copy him. "Now, I'm gonna try and attack you, try to parry each strike with the kunai. I won't gore you so don't worry." Naruto says. He takes a fighting stance and then he begins stabbing at me with a crazed look on his face. "HA! HA! HA!" he cries with each pass he makes, I meanwhile freak out and frantically try to avoid him. After a couple of near misses and unexplained blocks I turn around and start running. "HEY! YOU GIVING UP? NO STUDENT OF MINE GIVES UP!" Naruto shouts as he chases after me. _'I'm just trying to get some breathing room is all!'_ After getting about a few feet from him, I throw myself to the ground. Naruto must not have been expecting it since I hear him go, "ACK!" and I feel him trip over me. My eyes catch the young ninja pitch forward, eyes as big as dinner plates with surprise. KERPOW! Naruto's head goes against the ground. For some reason I immediately toss myself onto his back, pinning him to the ground. He grows annoyed and starts thrashing beneath my weight. "What are you doing? GET OFF ME!" he commands.

"Um…dog pile?" I reply. He makes a hand sign and says, "_Kage Bushin no jutsu!"_ Suddenly I'm thrown off as smoke fills the air around me, and of course the Naruto legion appears as it clears.

"YOU LIKE TO PLAY DOGPILE EH? WELL LETS PLAY DOGPILE- DATTEBAYO!" the clones all shout. In Naruto's point of view, he's probably just sending his clones to get even…to me? Well, think along the lines of "Death From Above" to describe the sight my eyes see. Clone after clone land atop my person in a dog pile retaliation for the ages. I pass out due to lack of oxygen and am waken up later when I fell a cold shock. I open my eyes to see Naruto brandishing a bucket of ice water. "Rule number one, never dog pile your sensei, get me?" He asks.

"I get you." I respond in my shattered condition.

"Okay, maybe I did go a teeny bit crazy." Naruto laments.

"You go crazy? Never!" I say sarcastically. I pick up the kunai Naruto handed me and stand up once more.

"Now, why don't we give throwing the kunai a whirl?" he suggests. He looks around and points to a nearby fallen log. "Try to hit the log like this." Naruto begins and he tosses the kunai at the log, which hits without fail. Mimicking his movement I attempt to throw the kunai, but it bounces off of the one Naruto threw and flies right back at us! Screaming like a bunch of banshees we dive out of the way. Naruto gives me another kunai and when I throw this one it ricochets off the log and off into the trees, and we hear an unknown animal screech and hit the ground. "Okay…maybe we should hold off Kunai practice for now…before we kill somebody." Naruto tells me putting his hands up.

"No arguments." I reply. Naruto crosses his arms and remains silent, probably trying to decide what to show me next. He then pounds a fist into his palm and says, "I got it, let's see how your jutsu performance is. Let's see if you can do my signature technique, the _Kage Bushin no jutsu_!" I smile with joy at the mention of this, since it's a key part of one of my favorite moves Naruto does: the _Uzumaki Naruto Rendan._ _'It'd be fantastic if he taught me the Rasengan…unlikely as it sounds.'_ "OKAY! Now, watch me make the hand sign…" he makes the all too familiar criss-cross sign and shouts, "_Kage Bushin no jutsu!" _Within a second, three clones join him, I jump back since I'm still not used to it yet. "Now you try it!" the Narutos command happily. I make the hand sign and shout,

"_Kage Bushin no Jutsu!"_ …And absolutely nothing happens. I'm not surprised though, I didn't expect to get it on the first try.

"Don't worry none, it took me forever to learn this one. Try again." One Naruto tells me. I repeat the sign and chant _Kage Bushin no Jutsu,_ and nothing happens again. Not even one puff of smoke. After more repetitions Naruto grows impatient and begins circling me, eyeing my body.

"What the hell? No smoke? No "puff" or "poof"?" he wonders aloud, and then he grabs hold of my left arm and examines it. "Maybe your body's broken…or you're like fuzzy brows?"

"Maybe I should try the _Henge no Jutsu _first?"

Naruto slits his eyes and says, "Well that's a thought…ok! Let's give it a go! Watch me!" Naruto and his clones make the required sign and transform. However I have to stop myself from getting a hot flash when the smoke clears to see Tsunade, Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune! My throat leaps into my stomach as I stand in shock.

"Hehe, don't we look hot?" the Anko clone asks me seductively. With that I go, "I…. uh…. ugnhh…." and I black out again. (Happens often doesn't it?)

Later I feel light slapping on me face and when I open my eyes I see Naruto and his clones still under the _Henge no Jutsu._the one appearing like Tsunade cradles me in her arms.

I shut my eyes again and tell Naruto, "As much as I love being held by a Tsunade look alike, could you TURN THE JUTSU OFF?"

"Okay, damn…" They all say and the jutsu is canceled. But as soon as he does I fall backward and my head bangs against the ground! I guess a clone was cradling me. "I was right! YOU ARE AFRAID OF THEM!" Naruto accuses me; I suppose he hasn't figured out I LOVE them. Naruto smacks me on the back of the head with a stick and says, "Alright, now try to do the _Henge no Jutsu_!" I stand up and make the handsign and chant "_Henge no Jutsu!"_ When nothing happens again, Naruto grows angry and shreds the stick with his teeth!

"I DON'T GET IT! WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!" he roars.

"What the hell are you two doing? I can hear you all the way from my house!" I hear another voice. I turn to see Iruka! Iruka has always been all right with me, since he was Naruto's first true friend.

"Iruka-sensei? I was trying to teach Paul here how to fight in case anyone else tries to harass him!" Naruto says in defense.

Iruka's eyebrows rise in confusion, "Huh? Harassed? For what?" he inquires. After repeating my account, Iruka's eyes sadden.

"Oh…Naruto does he know about you?" Iruka asks the hyper ninja.

Naruto's face darkens, "I…haven't told him."

"It's okay, I already know." I answer, surprising them both.

"All the adults know right? And that gang of guys who tied me up called Naruto a-uh…well they hinted at it." I continue.

"But…it doesn't bother you? At all?" Iruka questions, his face in disbelief.

I put a hand up and explain, "As long as Naruto's not causing a state of emergency then everything's golden." Naruto jumps up and down happily and throws his arms around me, unfortunately he catches me off guard and we both fall over causing Iruka to laugh his head off.

"Well…I wouldn't say Naruto HASN'T caused a commotion before…" he chuckles.

"NANI? IRUKA-SENSEI!" Naruto shouts; his canines now sharp. After we calm down I explain that Naruto was giving me combat lessons.

"Naruto, you can't expect him to learn the _Kage Bushin no Jutsu_ in one day! Remember your exams?" Iruka asks, causing that rain cloud to appear over his head again. "Why don't you try something more basic, like being able to leap from tree to tree?" he suggests. Naruto and I both raise our heads, since we didn't think of it before.

"YEAH! MAYBE YOU'LL BE GOOD AT THAT!" he cheers scaring both Iruka and I.

"Um…let's see how high you can jump normally." Iruka tells me. I nod and do a simple jump that gives a foot and a half. Naruto's face turns red and steam shouts out from his ears.

"NO! NO! NO! THAT'S NO GOOD! BEND YOUR KNEES! PUT SOME 'UMPH' INTO IT!" he trumpets. I crouch a little bit and jump again, going a little higher.

"Hmm…not too terrible…" Iruka says but Naruto has tears streaming down his face. They next leap onto a nearby tree branch and tell me to try it. I TRY to but I don't get even close, as Naruto yells at me to give it another go.

I attempt to do it once more, this time I land on the ground wrong which causes me to do American splits making me go, "EEEEEYYYYAAAAAA!" in horrendous pain.

They help me up and Iruka asks Naruto, "Why don't you guys stop for today?" Naruto's hair rises like a rocket. "Huh? We've only been out here six hours!" he shouts. I glance upwards to see dusk! The sun begins to set and the sky is filled with twilight. "Eh…fine. Maybe we've been out here long enough. Let's scrounge up dinner." Iruka and Naruto act as my crutches as we lumber back to the streets.

"We'll start again tomorrow morning. I won't be satisfied until you can make a clone." Naruto tells me. I smile but in reality my limbs feel like lead. I need to rest. We eat at Ichiraku (again). Iruka and I chat about different things while Naruto focuses on putting the stand out of business.

"Maybe you're like Rock Lee, if that's the case maybe you should talk to Gai…" Iruka suggests.

"GAI?" I choke on my ramen. I think Gai is hilarious but the idea of training under him scares the hell out of me. And I don't think I'd look good with a bowl cut head of hair. I shiver at the thought of Gai and Lee making walk around the village on my hands 100 or more times! My arms would disintegrate!

"He doesn't need Gai! Why would he when he's got me to help him!" Naruto pats me on the back. After we finish Iruka says goodnight and leaves.

The two of us start walking back to the apartment. When we get there we see Hinata waiting on in front of the door! "Hinata! Why are here? Something bothering ya?" Naruto asks her.

She immediately starts blushing as she turns to face her crush. Sheesh, that crush could crush a mountain. "OH! Naruto! Hello…" she says, she looks at me and bows. "Um…your name was Paul right? Uh…can I ask you a question? In private?" she requests. A record scratches in my head when I hear that. _'What? Me?'_

"Paul? You want to talk to him? Fine, why don't you come in after you talk?" Naruto chirps.

"Oh, sure…if there's time." Hinata responds. Naruto goes inside leaving me alone with Hinata.

Even though I'm amazed beyond belief I smile and say, "So, what do you need? Ask away."

Hinata stares at me with her big eyes and says, "Um…I don't mean to be rude…but…" I lean in closer. "Yes?" I say. "Please find another place to live." She finishes. _'What's this?'_

"You mean move out? But why?" I inquire, surprised. "I haven't told anyone this…but…I…Naruto is very…"she doesn't finish as her face becomes blood red.

"Special to you?" I finish. She nods her head.

"Hinata, I'm a boy so you really don't have anything to worry about," I tell her. She gulps and then stares hard at me.

"Well…if I can't live with Naruto I don't want anyone else to!" she shouts uncharacteristically at me.

"Hinata you're being ridiculous! You are a very nice little girl and I'd be happy to do you favor but I have nowhere else to go! Sorry." I apologize. She sighs and takes a fighting stance!

"Well I'm sorry too, but you leave me no choice." I step back, panicking.

"HUH? HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" I cry in alarm. Then to my terror she rushes at me.

"HHYYYAAAHHHH!" Hinata roars.

_That's chapter 4. If anyone was wondering, school and studying for my finals has eaten up a lot of my time. FYI, I'll try to finish the next chapter by Christmas! Thanks and PLEASE REVIEW!_


	5. A Skyline Of Confusion

_**A/N:**__ I'M EXTREMELY SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY! Christmas came before I know it and ate up a lot of time. And I can't lie to you guys; I've also been playing Nintendo Wii A LOT ever since I got it in November especially since I have the new Legend Of Zelda. Plus I've received guidance from the legendary Diamond Avatar. Well here's chapter five, and again I'm sorry. I hope you all like it._

Chapter 5: A Skyline of Confusion

**(BAD SITUATION PLAYS)**

As the hot-blooded adolescent closes in my feet refuse to move. What's worse my body is still sore from training earlier! I don't call for Naruto because I don't want him to see Hinata like this. So I take the most logical course of action: I RUN. Well what do you expect? I can't fight her!

"Hey! What's all the noise out there?" I hear Naruto call from inside the apartment. As I flee from Hinata's berserker fury I yell back,

"NOTHING! HINATA'S JUST TELLING ME A REALLY GOOD JOKE!" The usually calm Hyuuga chases me into a corner on the building, and I can't hop over the railing because that's at least a five-story drop! I put my hands up in defense, yet it surprises me that she doesn't have her Byakugan activated, but then again she probably doesn't need it. "Hinata don't! Look, you're just paranoid! I'm not going to do anything bad to Naruto! He's my new best friend!" I attempt to reason with her, but I might as well be talking to a wall.

"I don't want to hurt you…" Hinata growls. "Then don't! AAHH!" I respond then dive to the side as she brings her right palm forward. She doesn't hit me though; she just shatters the railing where I just was into a million pieces. I frantically get my footing but almost fall down due to the aching in my body. "You're only making this harder on yourself!" Hinata declares.

'_Yeeewwwww, how did this end up happening? I like Hinata but I'm not going to let her kill me!'_ My rickety feet propel me forward once more but when I look behind me I still see Hinata practically on my heels, getting ready to strike again. Keeping her in sight, I try to dodge each blow she throws but she still grazes me and it hurts! "OH.…HEY….WHOA!….HEY!….OOH YOU'RE KILLING ME!…CUT IT OUT!" I shout at every glancing blow. I mentally slap myself when I realize I've been going in a big circle.

"You done hearing that joke?" Naruto's voice echoes again.

"SHE'S TELLING ME ANOTHER ONE! QUITE THE JOKER SHE IS!" I cry aloud. I charge down the steps, which lead to the lower levels of the building. '_A smoke grenade…kaltrops…even a banana peel would be helpful right now!'_ Hinata doesn't relent, in fact it seems like she's just getting more agitated.

"HHAAAA!" she growls as I feel a sharp pain shoot into my back, causing me to vault forward. She got a hit on me! But I don't stop though; in fact the blow makes me sprint forward a little.

We reach the street in a matter of seconds where I screech to halt and turn around to face my pursuer. Hinata pauses also.

"Well? Will you find another place to live?" Hinata questions me.

"I don't have the money! I don't know anyone else well enough to put me up for the night either!" my chords play.

She frowns deeply and responds: "Then I can't stop now, then." With that said she moves like a blur towards me and hits me right in the stomach and I see stars…and I mean it literally, red, blue, green, and gold stars start twinkling before my eyes. I start coughing violently and drop to my knees, clutching my stomach with my right arm.

"Hinata…(hack)…give me a break…(wheeze)…" I manage to choke out. Of all the characters in this cartoon/manga I thought for sure I would clash with Sasuke, or Neji, or even Konohamaru! But not with Hinata, not ever. _'Then again whenever Naruto is concerned she does a 360 and becomes Supergirl.'_

"I want to…believe me, I really want to…" she says solemnly, yet with some sympathy. The Charlie horse I had five minutes ago has become a whole team of them. "HYYAAAA!" Hinata grabs hold of my jacket and what follows is similar to the fight between Bugs Bunny and that little red headed boy. Hinata shoves me down and puts an ankle lock on me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I howl in agony. Hinata then lifts me over her head and starts spinning me violently through the air. "AAAAA! AAAAA! AAAAA! AAAAA!" I shout with each swing. Finally she slams me into the ground with such force my skeleton vibrates like a tuning fork. My eyes swirl about dizzily as they show me Hinata briefly dropping her guard then taking up a fighting stance again. "….What, AGAIN?" I ask her in disbelief, still reeling from her previous assault. I manage to summon a burst of stamina, which I use to take off again, but I'm much faster this time around. I glance back at Hinata who stands surprised for a moment but then starts chasing me again. I actually put some distance between the two of us as I begin moving away from the apartment building. "Finally, things are looking up!" I say but then I run into something big which causes me to bounce back and hit the ground! Still hurting I look up to see what I ran into and why I didn't notice it. My jaw drops at what I see: An oversized billboard that reads: "ICHA ICHA PARADISE THE BOARD GAME IN STORES NEAR YOU!" Furious, I shout "JIRAIYA YOU OLD FOSSIL!"

"Found you!" a voice says behind me. It's Hinata wearing a smirk on her face. (Yes, HINATA smirking, spooky.)

"EEP! Hinata!…I can't take much more of this…." I weep.

Her smirk disappears as she answers, "All this could have been avoided if you agreed to move, but you wouldn't." My eyes widen as she begins to make hand signs and she says, "_BYAKUGAN_!" I shut my eyes in fear, but on a side note I have to say a white scarf to tie around my eyes would be more fitting. The genocide doesn't come though and instead I hear Hinata gasp loudly.

**(BAD SITUATION ENDS)**

'_Huh?'_ I open my eyes to see Hinata with her bloodline indeed activated, but she stands frozen. She doesn't say anything; she just stays where she is staring at me with a shocked expression.

"HINATA!" I hear a new voice call. Out of nowhere Kurenai appears and grabs hold of her.

Hinata looks at her and says, "K-Kurenai-sensei!" Kurenai however gives Hinata an icy glare.

"What are you doing? I saw you attacking him! What's gotten into you?" Kurenai scolds her. It's times like this I usually just keep quiet, so I'm trying to figure what Hinata saw when she activated her byakugan. The same thing happened with Neji yesterday, and I was told it wasn't working correctly. _'I KNOW I don't have a bijuu so what else can it be? I don't have any enhanced strength, or speed, or even a lick of aptitude for performing any jutsus…well this is gonna keep me up all night.'_ Kurenai moves toward me and places her hands on my shoulders.

"Are you injured?" she asks me. My mouth goes dry as I struggle to respond, her crimson eyes practically hypnotizing me.

"Well…I think all of my internal organs are in my feet, but other than that…" I respond, lucky to say anything. Kurenai helps me onto my feet.

"So…you're her sensei? Whatever you're showing her keep at it." I say, putting my ignorant charade on again.

This causes Kurenai to bite her lower lip and say, "I apologize for Hinata's behavior. This really isn't like her at all." I would normally be PO'D about getting attacked, but I'm just too tired and hurt to be angry. Besides, it's not like I suffered one of those motorcycle daredevil injuries.

"He…he wouldn't move out of Naruto-kun's apartment…" Hinata begins to explain, but Kurenai cuts her off saying,

"And you attacked him for THAT? Hinata, Naruto OFFERED to let Paul stay. Paul never asked Naruto to do anything."

"HHHEEYYY! PAUL!" A voice booms in the distance.

We all turn to see Naruto rushing towards us. Hinata squeaks in alarm and scurries to Kurenai's side. Naruto runs up to me, "What's the story here? How'd you end up this far from the building?"

Kurenai opens her mouth and is about to explain but I interject saying, "I asked Hinata to show me her Hyuuga taijutsu!"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto asks with slitted eyes. However Kurenai and Hinata both stare at me as if I was wearing a dress. "I didn't figure you to be the instructor type Hinata. You keep surprising me." Naruto compliments her; Hinata buries her face into Kurenai's side. "Hey why don't you and Kurenai-sensei come inside for tea or something?" he continues. Hinata and I both shift uncomfortably.

"Well it's getting late-" Kurenai begins before Naruto interrupts saying "How long does it take to chug a few shots of tea? C'mon you guys."

The jounin diva puts her hands up and shakes her head, saying "Twist our arms why don't you? Alright fine."

"Kick ass!" Naruto says and takes hold of Hinata and begins to pull her along. Hinata doesn't answer as her eyes roll back in a blissful haze and moves like a zombie. "By the way Hinata, let me tell you the trouble I saved Paul from today…" Naruto starts bragging and they both go ahead.

Kurenai then turns to me with confusion mixed on her face. Kurenai is so pretty I have to force myself to look in the eyes, but I really want to run away. "Why did you?.." she asks, but I immediately answer, "Did I cover for Hinata? Well I'll be honest; part of the reason was because I want to get on her good side so she won't attack me again. But also I met Hinata yesterday and my impression is that she's really caring, not obnoxious like other kids. Is that an acceptable explanation?" She is taken aback by my nervously rushed response.

Kurenai pauses for a moment, but then she smiles and replies, "Yes, that's acceptable. Oh, I never introduced myself, I'm Yuuhi Kurenai." She bows to me and me back.

"That's okay; I already knew your name but thanks. Let's go in before Naruto starts yelling at us." She nods and we follow Naruto and Hinata.

**(EVENING PLAYS)**

Once inside, Naruto continues to brag about his successes to Hinata while I try to make small talk with Kurenai. "So while I was being hogtied what did you guys do?" I ask shyly.

Kurenai shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well we watched Tsunade-sama play with your um…DS?"

"Yeah, the Nintendo DS." I confirm. My eyes dart around, my bashfulness showing no signs of leaving.

"After awhile Anko got sick of watching and wrestled it away from her, then she played for awhile and Shizune wrestled it from Anko…" she begins.

And I ask, "Did you have to wrestle it from her?"

Kurenai shakes her head and adds, "No she offered me a turn."

"Great, what did you think of it?" I inquire.

The genjutsu goddess jolts her body and responds with, "ME?…..oh…um…well it's charming….."

I narrow my eyes and say, "Don't lie. You had the time of your life."

This causes Kurenai to blush deeply and whimper, "Yeah…I had a lot of fun…"

Embarrassed, she slouches in her chair but I tell her, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about! The DS was designed to be enjoyed by all ages! And after all, you still got a lot of years left Kurenai, you're not old at all." I'm not sure where I managed the courage to speak up, but I'm proud.

My words appear to relieve her as she smiles and says, "Well aren't you the sweet talker." This time **I** blush deeply and slouch in **MY** chair while Kurenai laughs. _'Not cool…not cool…'_

"Hey, I was being nice. Don't tease." I lament.

She places a hand on my shoulder and replies, "I'm just giving you a hard time, relax." She then asks, "Where did you find that device? I don't think any of us have ever seen such a thing."

"Naruto asked me the same thing; I told him a man named Miyamoto gave it to me." I answer. We are both distracted when we hear a puff, we turn to see that Naruto has made a clone resembling my deceiver, Kaji as he laid on the ground after Tsunade gave him her grand fist.

He then tells Hinata, "This guy tricked Paul into an ambush, but luckily Paul got away and told the old lady! When I found out I was like YOU ASSGOBBLER! TAKE THIS!"

Naruto then proceeds to stomp on the clone repeatedly until the clone reverts to its original form and gets in Naruto's face, saying "HEY! One stomp is enough! That hurts you know!"

Naruto makes a grimace and shouts back, "SO WHAT? I'M YOUR MASTER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT!"

The clone responds with, "OH YEAH? WHO DIED AND MADE YOU DAIMYO?"

"THAT DOES IT!" Naruto declares and the two start fighting.

"Knock it off, Naruto!" Kurenai instructs. Hinata starts drooling at the sight of two Naruto's directly in front of her. The feud starts growing ugly as the two start knocking each other down and employ elbow drops and sleeper holds. After a while Kurenai stands up, forms some hand signs and the two Narutos suddenly freeze in place.

"EH? KURENAI-SENSEI!" they both cry out.

Kurenai raises an eyebrow and says, "Maybe it would be best if I leave you two like that?"

"IIIIIIEEEEE! LET US GO PLEASE!" they howl back. It's really funny seeing them like statues and tears cascading down their faces, but I can't help but sympathize with them.

"Awwww, why don't you let em' go? I think they get it." I chuckle. Kurenai turns to me and pauses.

After about a minute she replies, "Okay…but after I have another cup of tea!"

"MOU! HURRY UP!" the pair groans as the jounin smugly pours she and I another helping of tea.

"Kaji huh? Oh yes, I've run afoul of him myself." Kurenai begins another conversation while Naruto and his clone dehydrate themselves as they weep.

Curious, I ask her, "Really? What happened?"

She takes a sip of tea and starts, "Well about a month ago me and Anko were at a bar and Kaji and some of his friends were there as well."

"Yuh-huh." I reply.

"They were being very noisy and rude to some of workers, especially the waitresses. We had just finished and were leaving when he calls over to me like this." She makes her face look like she's wasted with one eye half closed and with a gruff voice says, "Heeeyyyy, Kurenai! Wanna come home with me, baby! OOOOHHHH!" She stops the impression and continues, "Then he slaps my butt with his hand." The idea of slapping her behind almost makes me drop my tea.

"Really?" I ask in disbelief. _'That asshole is dead! DEAD!'_

Kurenai smiles proudly and responds with, "But I applied a vice grip to his genitals and Anko came over and rammed his head onto the table where he was sitting."

I nod happily and say, "Good for both of you."

Kurenai's expression becomes more solemn and then tells me, "Shizune told me what happened to you today. I'm glad Tsunade-sama straightened him out but I think you made an enemy. Kaji's nowhere near a match for the hokage, but he's still pretty powerful since he's a jounin."

"HA!" we hear one of the Narutos shout. Kurenai turns to him and says, "What?" Naruto smirks and says, "No need to worry sensei! If that wiggler comes after Paul, he'll be ready! Because I've decided to teach Paul how to fight! DATTEBAYO!"

Kurenai stays quiet for a second, and then she starts giggling wildly. "HHHUUUHHH? WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?" the Naruto double growl in unison.

"Nothing! Nothing!…just the idea. In Konoha its traditional that the ADULTS teach the CHILDREN, not the other way around!" she giggles.

"I think…Naruto would be great teacher…." Hinata says out of the blue.

"HEHE! Thanks Hinata!" Naruto says which makes her starry-eyed. Kurenai lets out a sigh, looks at the clock on the wall.

"Okay, now I better see Hinata and myself home." She tells us.

"HEEEYYY! DON"T FORGET ABOUT US! WE'RE STARTING TO CRAMP UP!" Naruto bellows.

"Hmm? Ah, right." Kurenai responds. She gets up and walks over to Naruto, places a finger on him and his clone and chant, "Release!" They become unfrozen and the clone disappears.

"HHOO! Much better." Naruto coos as he stretches.

"Good night…Naruto-kun…" Hinata chokes, looking as if she was just sentenced to serve life. However, she turns to me but she doesn't say anything.

"Hinata." Kurenai says with a hard look.

"See you both later." I say.

"Yeah, later." Naruto adds.

"Good night Paul, get some sleep." Kurenai says and gives me hug. As soon as her arms wrap around me my body seizes up. After they leave I start feeling lightheaded and fall back, luckily Naruto catches me.

"HEY! You okay?' Naruto asks me.

"I actually fell very refreshed…" I respond.

**(EVENING ENDS)**

After all what's said we retire for the evening. Later on I feel a huge shock that wakens me in violent matter. "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!" I cry aloud. I look around to see I'm in the tub filled with ice-cold water! As I shiver I realize my clothes are missing! "THE HECK?" I curse.

"Rise and shine." I hear a voice say. I turn to see Naruto holding a brush and soap. "YOU STRIPPED ME DOWN?" I yell at him.

"I told you we'd start early today. I've got your clothes in the dryer already. Now wash up so we can get started." He barks. Angered but obedient I take the soap and brush and bathe with Naruto keeping watch.

"You mind giving me some privacy?" I ask.

**(DAYLIGHT OF KONOHA PLAYS)**

"Have to make sure you don't take your time. We have much to do today." Naruto says.

I speed up since him watching me makes me uncomfortable. As soon as I finish Naruto hands me my clothes, after I finish dressing he presents me with a pair of really nice looking leather sandals. "Here, I bought you these so you'll be more ninja like." He says with a smile.

"WOAH! Thanks!" I tell him and try them on, perfect fit.

"We'll go at it for an hour or two and then we'll have breakfast. NOW LET"S GO!" He shouts the last part into my ear. We head out the door and race down the steps onto the street. As we begin walking we hear a rustling sound behind us. We turn to see….a square rock. Naruto makes a disgusted face and I start laughing. "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SQUARE ROCK! I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT'S TOO DAMN OBVIOUS!" Naruto roars.

**(KONOHAMARU'S THEME PLAYS)**

"I'm happy to see your senses haven't dulled onii-san!" A boy's voice says. A puff of smoke erupts from the rock and I hear a cascade of little coughs. _'They still haven't got the right amount gunpowder yet.'_ The smoke disappears to reveal the Konohamaru Corps. of course.

"I'm the leader Konohamaru!" Konohamaru shouts.

"I'm the most beautiful kunoichi in the village, Moegi!" Moegi declares.

"I'm Udon." Udon smiles happily.

"And introducing our newest member…" Konohamaru says and the three of them leap to the side to reveal….Hyuuga Hanabi? She even has her own pair of goggles!

She bows simply and says, "Hyuuga Hanabi." A vein throbs in Konohamaru's head.

"HANABI! YOU CALL THAT A POSE!" he demands, stomping his foot.

Hanabi blinks and says, " A bow is not only simple but polite. What's the problem?"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" He shouts back, Hanabi just remains calm and cool.

"EH? Hanabi? When did you join Konohamaru's posse?" Naruto asks dumbfounded.

Hanabi smiles and replies, "After the chunin exams. I was amazed by the way you fought, and even though he won't admit it Neji has changed for the better since you beat him."

"HEHE! Oh yeah….I forgot about that." Naruto gushes. I sure haven't forgotten that moment, it was spectacular. Neji stood over a seemingly defeated Naruto to who he says, "It's pointless to fight against fate….I told you." Suddenly the ground opens up and Naruto emerges and gives him a powerful uppercut!

"SHORYUKEN!" Naruto roars. _'Hehe, I know that isn't what happened but it would have fit I think.' _ Neji falls defeated. The part where he said, "unlike me you're not a failure" was just epic since Naruto just proved that argument. Whenever I see or read that scene it always cheers me up since though I'm nothing at all like Neji….. I doubt myself constantly.

Getting my head out of the clouds (due to Naruto shaking me violently) Naruto presents me to the Konohamaru Corps. and says, "Let me introduce my newest student! Paul say hello!" He shoves me forward, almost making me bump into the four toddlers.

"Um…hello…." I greet shyly. The four all examine me carefully.

"How old are you? You're a geezer compared to us-OW!" Konohamaru begins before getting smacked on the head by Naruto.

"Why is your skin so white? You really should get more sun." Moegi comments innocently. _'Huh? Orochimaru has me beat by a mile when it comes to pale skin.'_

"November? What is that a heavy metal group or something?" Udon asks while staring at my T-shirt.

"108th tactical fighter squadron? Are you a mercenary?" Hanabi inquires as she pokes the patch on the back of my jacket. (I really do have this jacket in real life, BTW)

"HEY! GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO ANSWER!" Naruto shouts. He frightens the four kids except Hanabi who just blinks again.

Clearing my throat I tell them the same old tune I've played for everybody else. "So I have amnesia and I don't know when it will go away." I finish. _'I'm getting really sick of using the same old lie, would it be that destructive if I said, "Hi! You people are all fictional charcters from a manga and have become a hit television series and I have an intense crush on the older female cast!"…I'd probably be tossed in the psychiatric ward in the hospital.'_

"You wanna play a game with us?" They all ask me.

"Huh, why not?" I respond. The kids all jump up and down in joy.

"You'll love this game! It will help you improve your sneaking skills!" Moegi tells me. The Konohamaru Corps always crack me up and I appreciated the fact that they are a loyal entourage to Naruto even when he's over shadowed by another of the characters. But Hanabi deciding to join surprises me; you really don't see her that much in the manga or anime, as she is a minor character. Her joining has scored some favoring points with me. _'Heh, I guess all of the Hyuuga women can't resist the call of the kyuubi.'_

"A training game? Perfect!" Naruto approves and asks, "Where do we play?"

"The Hokage tower where my gramps worked, let's go." Konohamaru explains. Naruto makes a couple of clones to carry me and we all head off.

"Onii-san! Wait for us!" Konohamaru calls as Naruto and his clones get ahead of the Corps, but Hanabi keeps the same pace as Naruto and I with relative ease. We reach the tower and Konohamaru glances about.

"OK, let me explain the game…. it's called Shuriken Gear. This is a sneaking game where you have to sneak inside the building and reach a certain point without getting spotted. If you do, run and hide somewhere until the guards lose you. I'll give you a cloak of invisibility and a smoke bomb but the rest all depends on you. Since you're the newcomer you'll go first Paul." Konohamaru explains and gives me the cloak and bomb.

"This sounds kind of hard, and I'm about as stealthy as an hippo." I say but still accept the gear.

"You're destination is my gramps old office, watch the receptionist and when no one is looking begin the game!" Konohamaru explains.

"You can do this Paul. After all you're my student!" Naruto says, patting me on the back. _'You really didn't teach me anything about stealth Naruto.'_ I peek inside the doors to see some shinobi chatting about different things.

The receptionist then calls the other ninja around saying, "Hey come look what's on the television!" The others all crowd around a nearby television.

"MMMM…she has a nice body…." One coos.

"You guys are pigs." I hear a female say. Nobody is watching the door so I zip inside and pass the gathered shinobi. I let out a sigh of relief due to the fact nobody noticed me. I begin creeping down the corridor. I halt when some ninja come walking from around a corner. I dive behind a nearby plant, which is tucked into an alcove. The plant and vase are both big but they won't cover me completely. I begin to panic as they close in, but then I get an idea. Using all my might I grab the plant and yank it out of the vase with the soil all stuck together in one piece. Then I step INTO the vase and place the plant atop my head hoping the soil masks my face.

"Eh?" I hear one the ninja say and I hear them stop in front of the plant. _'I'm sunk…"_

"This plant is really growing nicely! Look the roots are starting to shove the dirt out!" Another says.

"We should have that foreigner take a look. Maybe he's good at gardening." the first ninja comments. Then I hear them begin to walk away. When I no longer hear their footsteps I push the plant from off my head and step out of the vase. I shake off whatever dirt stuck onto my clothes and place the plant back into the vase. I scoop the dirt off the floor as best I can and continue the game. I come upon the staircase and begin to climb; occasionally looking above and below me to make sure no one is around.

"Ano? Whose footprints are these?" I hear a voice below. I peer down to see Kakashi staring at the floor. To my horror dirt footprints start from where Kakashi is standing and lead to my feet! _'OH NO! I DIDN'T BRUSH MY FEET OFF!'_ Alarmed I take off my sandals and shove them into my pockets and rush from the stairs as I hear Kakashi start climbing. Like a blur I zoom to a storage closet and try the door but it won't open!

"I can't lose the game!" I whisper to myself as my mind races furiously. But then my eyes fall upon a large discarded cardboard box. Without thinking I open the box and cower under it. I use a rectangular hole to peek out to see Kakashi stop at the point where I removed my sandals. He looks around, confused.

A question mark appears over his head as he says, "Hmm!" He turns around and goes back down the stairs. I wait a little while as more shinobi enter the area and pass by. Once the number dies down I press on. I scurry to the steps once more but I remain beneath the box just in case. I reach the top floor; I'm almost at the office! There's one problem, this floor seems to have a larger number of shinobi then the other floors! _'What's going on? There are a lot more people around today.'_

I keep myself along the walls as I scan the area, if I go directly to the office someone is bound to notice me. I remember I have the cloak of invisibility and the smoke bomb and I contemplate how to use them. While I do that, I quietly hum the "Sons of Liberty" song to myself. When I think I have an idea I begin to slide away from the groups of shinobi to the more deserted parts of this floor.

'_There, I think I'm alone.'_ I begin moving again but when I do I see Sakura, Ino, and Tenten spot me and exclamation points pop over their heads! "Hey, what are you doing?" Ino exclaims. Without thinking I throw the smoke bomb out from beneath the box and it covers them in a thick cloud.

They all start coughing and Sakura says, "Hey!….." I then toss the cloak of invisibility at them and hope they get that slows them down as well…and success! The all come out all tangled together and fall to the floor! With them occupied I turn and head the opposite direction.

"Hey you! Come back!" Tenten roars. I hear another voice, its Jiraiya.

"What's all the hoo-ha-OH MY!" he exclaims happily.

"Jiraiya-sama cut us free!" Tenten pleads.

"Don't ogle us ya pervert!" Ino growls.

I don't stay to watch as I charge down the hallway, as I think of what to do next I spot a ray of hope. The air ducts! What sneaking game would be without some!

I toss aside the cardboard box and grab a nearby chair. Positioned under the duct I step up, open the duct and begin to climb inside. I shove the chair away some and finish entering the air duct, closing the grate after I'm finished. _'OUCH! There's not enough room to breath in here…'_ I carefully glance through the grate to see Sakura, Ino, and Tenten all look about frantically trying to find me. Jiraiya comes into view as well, writing into his notebook.

"Cloak of Sensuality, what a great Chapter that would be-UGH!" Jiraiya begins before Sakura backhands him saying, "Stupid!"

"….it was probably Konohamaru messing around again." Jiraiya chokes out. The girls all glance at each other and nod.

"Yeah, it probably was Konohamaru. We'll pinch his face or something else later." Tenten says. They all leave, so alert mode is off. (…BEEP, BEEP!) I begin crawling through the ducts but it's a real pain in the behind. _'So THIS is what a tv dinner feels like.'_ As I inch along I peer down through another grating. I see Chouji scarfing down a bag of doughnuts and a bunch of empty potato chip bags litter the area.

"Chouji, you're making a mess!" I hear someone call. Asuma appears and gawks at the new plastic carpeting.

"Whew! I got enough gas to fuel a city…." Chouji burps. Asuma bears his teeth at him.

"If you didn't eat so much you wouldn't have indigestion all the time." Asuma scolds. Chouji glances at Asuma rather irritated.

"You're treading on thin ice, sensei." Chouji snarls. Asuma's head drops down in defeat. I push forward in attempt to find the Hokage's office. When I come upon another grate I peer down this one to see what's there.

'_WWWOOOOOOOOOWWW!'_ When I look down I see three pairs of long shapely legs that belong to Kurenai, Anko, and Shizune. From this vantage point I have wonderful shots of their clothed figures. I know I shouldn't waste time but my body refuses to move. (How in the world do women do that?) All the blood rushes to my face and my heart starts to pound. I practically faint when I realize they are discussing me!

"Have any of you guys gone one on one with that Paul kid? He seems like kind of a loser to me." Anko comments. Her words are like arrows shooting into my chest. _'How cruel…'_ My head droops down.

"Don't be so mean! He's a very nice person Anko. Have you ever seen him and Naruto? It's like Naruto has an older brother now!" Shizune defends me. _'HOORAY SHIZUNE!'_

"Good boys are so boring though…." Anko responds, and thus shooting another arrow. _'Why?'_

"I think you're being a little overcritical Anko, I just talked to him for the first time last night and he's not so bad at all." Kurenai tells her. _'KURENAI! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!'_

"Don't forget he was nice enough to let us play his toy." Shizune says once and then she continues with, "So he was instrumental in calming Tsunade-sama down from her panic attack." _'That's right! She still has the DS…meh, I'll get it back later.'_

"That thing is hella fun! Wonder if he would sell it? I bet that thing would be worth a lot of cash!" Anko declares before she adds with, "Alright, alright! Maybe I'll try to be friendlier with him. The arrows are gone and a medic is now patching the wounds.

"Did I tell you what the whole trouble with Hinata I had last night? Paul was there as well." Kurenai asks the other two to which they shake their heads. _'Good chance to put in good testimony! Thanks Kurenai!"_

"What are you all smiling about?" I hear another voice interrupt them. _'What's this?'_ They all turn to see who spoke. The next things I see are the white locks of Kakashi's outrageous haircut. "Everyone's almost ready, we should head off too." He says.

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." Kurenai says and they all leave. _'…AUGH! KAKASHI!'_ Thoughts of medieval torture begin to flood my mind but I remember the game and continue. After a long time I begin to grow tired. _'Oh man…I'm losing the feeling in my legs…'_I reach one more grate and look down. My eyes fall upon a fine wood desk choked with piles of papers scattered high, the office!

'_I MADE IT, I MADE IT-DATTEBAYO!…I mean…alright!'_ Carefully I open the grate and stick my head out to secure the area, and the office is empty! Overjoyed by the streak of luck, I carefully lower my feet down into the office. I feel my feet touch something solid; I look down to see my feet on the stacks of papers. _'Heh, praise be to procrastination!'_ The stacks of papers act like steps as I lower myself to the floor. I cough violently from the dust in the ducts.

I glance about, feeling proud of my performance. I begin to walk to the doors when I stumble on a book. I pitch forward right as the doors begin to open…and PLOP! My fall is halted when my face lands in something soft. _'Wow…so soft…'_ I place my hands against this object when I realize that there are two of them. _'Urk…'_ Slowly but gently I remove my face from these objects. To my shock I see my hands clamped onto a pair of female breasts…ANKO's breasts to be exact. I freeze in absolute fright and embarrassment. I glance to see her, Shizune, and Kurenai with their eyes blood red with flames emitting from their heads. I quickly remove my hands from Anko's chest but then her right hand clutches my throat and begins to choke me.

"WHAT….THE….HELL…..ARE YOU DOING?" Anko hisses angrily while Kurenai and Shizune start pulling out kunai knives. With no effort whatsoever Anko tosses me like a rag doll, sending me over Tsunade's desk and I go SMACK! against the window making the glass crack. I hit the floor and while I pull myself up the three enraged kunoichi advance on me.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I WOULD NEVER-" I begin but to no avail. I shut my eyes but open them when I hear a group of voices cry out.

"STOP!" the voices all say. To my delight Naruto and the Konohamaru Corps appear and shield me from the terrible three.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Anko yells at them. They shake their heads.

"Leave him alone! This is really kind of our fault!" Naruto comes to my aid once more. The jounin glance at them, confused.

"What do you mean?" Kurenai asks. They explain the challenge they presented to me and Naruto stresses that I'm not like Jiraiya.

"Hmph! Fine, we'll forgive him this time." Anko grumbles as they relent their assault.

"Thanks…." I cough. Naruto places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a sympathetic glare.

"Sorry, because of ero-sennin all the women in Konohagakure are paranoid around us guys." Naruto comforts me. Naruto and the kids all help me up. I turn to Anko.

"Wow, that's quite a grip you have! (Hack..)" I joke. I'm mad at being attacked but I can't blame them. I do have my hissy fits but nows not the time.

Anko's eyes widen a little and she responds, "Um…thanks?" her confident attitude returns however as she then tells me, "Well after all, I'm not a jounin for no reason." Shizune and Kurenai both give her a disapproving look and she just looks at them like, "What?"

"Good morning Paul, how are you today?" Shizune greets me warmly then she points to my jacket. "Do you mind if I show your jacket to a friend? I'll give it back right after." She asks. I say sure and give it to her, I trust Shizune after all. "Thanks." She tells me.

"Sure, take care of it, I love that jacket." I reply as I brush of the residue from the air ducts. Tsunade walks in and we all bow respectively to her. She looks a little sad, however.

When her eyes fall on me she says, "Ah! Paul good morning…sorry but I don't have any work for you just yet, we're about to have a meeting." Naruto makes a sour look.

"AWWW! Lame!" Naruto says. He turns to me and says, "C'mon, let's go find some work for ya."

Tsunade's eyes harden a bit as she interrupts saying, "No Naruto. You need to come to this meeting as well and let Paul go on his own for a little while." The infamous rain cloud appears over Naruto's head once more.

"OK…Wait! If you need me it has to be important!" He says with a curious gaze.

"Well let's go to conference room." Tsunade says. We all leave the office and we go to another part of the tower where I see the conference room. All around me I see all the jounin, genin and a lot of the teachers too. I see Ebisu, Genma, Ibiki, even the two council members Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu. _'Something big is going on here.'_

"Hey is something wrong-UHH!" I begin to ask before I feel someone blocking me; it's Kakashi.

"HEY! WHAT GIVES SENSEI?" Naruto demands.

"This meeting is for shinobi only. No villagers allowed!" he tells me coldly. Tsunade pulls his hand away and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry, but he's right. Why don't you go have breakfast or something? We won't be that long." She explains. I don't respond at first, but then I nod. "Good boy." She says and enters the room.

Kakashi looks at the Konohamaru Corps and says, "No Academy students either."

"AAWWW! COME ON!" they shout in protest. Naruto waves bye to us and they close the door, leaving me with the four kids.

Konohamaru tugs on my shoulder with a sly smile. "Wanna eavesdrop on their meeting?" he asks.

"How?" I ask. Konohamaru yanks Udon over to me and says, "A while back we borrowed some hidden cameras from the AV store Udon's dad runs and installed them into the conference room!"

Udon pulls out a small portable television from the backpack he's wearing and says, "With this receiver we can watch the whole conversation!"

"We can't watch it here, so let's go watch in the courtyard outside. There shouldn't be anybody out there right now!" Konohamaru tells me.

'_Pretty slick I have to say.'_ "Alright, let's take a peek." I answer. The kids all tell me awesome grab my hands and pull me outside. We come upon the courtyard and it is indeed deserted. We find a quiet spot and set the television up. Hanabi occasionally looks around to keep an eye out for anyone.

"Here we go!" Konohamaru chuckles as the screen comes to life. The rest of the cast of Naruto are all in the conference room seating themselves, the room is pretty crowded actually. Udon cycles through different angles to depict everyone clearly.

"Are we all ready? Let's begin this meeting." Homura begins.

"You're probably wondering why we all called you here, it concerns our newest guest to the village." Koharu adds. A screen beside her comes on depicting my face. The only info it has is my first name and age.

"HUH? Paul?" Naruto asks in surprise.

'_What? Me?'_ Iruka raises his hand, "The one Naruto invited to live with him?"

"Correct, we've recently been informed of a disturbing discovery by Neji and Hinata from the Hyuuga family." Homura responds. Everyone turns to Neji and Hinata.

"My family?" Hanabi asks, leaning over my shoulder to get a better look. The kids are at complete attention now as I am.

"Hinata, what's this about?" Kurenai asks in concerned voice.

"Quiet please." Tsunade instructs.

"First let's go over what we know. He claims to have amnesia, and doesn't remember what country he is from." Koharu begins and then says, "We've contacted all of the neighboring countries as per Tsunade's request."

"What did you find?" Kakashi asks.

"Nothing, NOBODY has ever heard of this young man nor have they ever heard of such a name." Koharu answers. She motions to Shizune who steps forward and holds the jacket up.

"Look at these patches, in all my years as a shinobi I've never heard of this "Wardog" group or the "108th tactical fighter squadron" and I'm sure none of you have either." Koharu adds. Everyone murmurs saying that they haven't heard of this as well.

"And what are we to make of this strange device, the Nintendo DS or "Dual Screen?" Homura inquires and then he adds, "Its bizarre touch screen is nothing like our scrolls of video records. And we've also looked into this Nintendo Company and the man who is supposedly responsible for its design, who is only known as Miyamoto. Nobody is familiar with this company or this man in our electronic industry." He holds my DS open for them to see. _'I don't understand any of this! And what is this discovery they have about me?'_

"SO WHAT? What are you guys getting at-" Naruto shouts before Koharu tells him to be silent.

"His speech, his walk, his complexion…everything about him different!" Koharu states.

"As for the discovery we mentioned earlier…" Homura begins before him, Koharu, and Tsunade glance at each other and nod; he continues, "This boy…does NOT HAVE A CHAKRA NETWORK!" The moment he says this everyone's face is covered in shock and disbelief. No one says anything, the room is eerily quiet. As for myself, a deep pain explodes in my heart. _'I don't have a chakra network? But that means…'_

"What…. WHAT ARE YOU TELLING US?" Naruto shatters the silence. "How is that possible? Everybody has chakra!"

"That's true, every single living thing in our world has some chakra in them, even animals and plants. Without chakra there would be no life…but Paul has none. He has no chakra network or chakra at all." Tsunade answers, pain in her voice.

"NO! NO!" Naruto cries pounding his fists on the ground.

"NARUTO! We're not lying. Neji first found out the day he came to Konoha and Hinata confirmed it last night." Tsunade tells him.

"Yes, it was like he was dead inside. It was just empty when we looked using our Byakugan." Neji responds.

I start to cry, and Naruto does as well. Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, and Hanabi just stare at me not saying a word.

**(SADNESS AND SORROW PLAYS)**

"But…I wanted to…I wanted to teach Paul how to fight in case that prisoner he helped catch broke out of prison…but if he doesn't have chakra…he can't defend himself at all! He can't cast any jutsus…..he can't even fight like Lee can cause even he uses chakra in his style!" Naruto sobs. My head begins to ache horribly and my tears refuse to stop.

'Who…the hell would bring me here to see my favorite Japanese character who offers to train me…IF I CAN'T DO ANYTHING HE CAN!'

"But that's not all, we feel he should be placed under arrest." Koharu speaks up. Tsunade and Naruto turn to them in surprise.

"WHAT? YOU NEVER DISCUSSED THAT WITH ME!" Tsunade shouts.

"Being a little harsh aren't you guys?" Jiraiya asks

"For all we know Paul could be some experiment conducted by Orochimaru or the Akatsuki, he shouldn't even exist!" Homura responds coldly, making me feel worse.

"You're speculating now Homura." Jiraiya says with a sneer.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?" Naruto suddenly snarls at Homura. He stands up and the red chakra begins to swirl around him. The others all turn to him, startled.

"NARUTO! CALM DOWN!" Kakashi orders. Naruto shakes his head.

"NO! HELL NO! PAUL'S A FRIEND!" Naruto roars back. Sasuke steps up and stares hard at him.

"We thought Kabuto was our friend and look how that turned out!" Sasuke comments.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!…..it's different…" Naruto replies in a breaking voice, "I've been wrong about people before, I won't deny it. But Paul is different." The red chakra begins to fade. 'Naruto?'

"I've only known him a couple of days but I know he's a good guy like us! When I said I would train him his face was happy…his green eyes lit up…it was as if he gave off an air of peace." Naruto chokes then he finishes with, "HE'S NOT OUR ENEMY! HE'S NOT SOME CRIMINAL LIKE YOU MAKE HIM OUT TO BE! JUST WATCH! HE'LL PROVE IT TO ALL OF YOU! AND I'M GOING TO HELP HIM DO IT!" Even though I'm still devastated I'm happy. I knew Naruto would defend me no matter what would happen. He does for all of his friends after all.

All of the female genin just stare at Naruto with their faces flushed. "Naruto…" Ino says.

"You're out of order Uzumaki! You are not on this council so do-" Homura starts to scold before Tsunade stomps her foot on the ground silencing him.

"I'M the Hokage of this village. All security in Konoha is my call." Tsunade says with subtle rage. "I'm siding with Naruto. I will NOT place Paul under arrest and I'm returning his possessions we have here. And before you threaten to remove me from my position let me remind the council such a decision is within my authority."

The council members' faces shift in frustration. "Very well. We will allow Paul to remain at Naruto's residence under the condition he is not allowed any unauthorized trips outside the village and our shinobi keep him under some form of watch." Homura grumbles.

Tsunade turns to all the ninja and tells them; "If you feel compelled to do so, please don't treat him like a prisoner. I think he's in the dark about this just as much as we are so let's make him comfortable at the very least…. I think this is the first time he's been away from home like this, he's probably scared and confused."

'I am a little scared…but I've also been having a whale of a time here, too…thanks Tsunade, thanks Naruto…' Sakura pulls Naruto into a hug and Tsunade waves them all off.

"Any questions? Are you all clear on this issue?" Tsunade asks everyone.

"Excuse me Hokage-sama but why are you being lenient about this?" Kakashi asks her.

"Alright Kakashi you've made you're position clear, so just leave it be." Shizune says.

Kakashi has that, "I was just asking" look and clams up.

"Anything else? If not you're all dismissed." Tsunade orders and everyone begins to leave. Some say I should be arrested, others disagree and so on.

**(SADNESS AND SORROW ENDS)**

Tsunade places a hand on her face; Jiraiya comes over and puts a comforting arm around her. Udon zooms in on them to hear well. "You alright?" he asks.

"I'm tired. You know anything that causes Naruto pain makes me upset too." She replies.

"Well this will blow over eventually." Jiraiya replies.

"I hope so, this seems to have really upset Naruto." Tsunade responds. I get up and begin to walk away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Hanabi asks, a little worried.

"I need some alone time…you kids should steer clear of me for awhile." I tell them and begin to walk off. I really have no idea where I'm headed off to; I just need to get my thoughts together. My crying starts to die down; maybe I'm running out of tears? I wipe my eyes dry and decide to bury my sorrows in food. My peepers search the area looking a place that can indulge me. By chance I notice the sweet stop where Kakashi found Itachi and Kisame earlier.

Walking inside I order a jumbo box of dango and a couple of cans of green tea to go. The owner asks if there's something wrong and I tell him its allergies. I go off into a more quiet area and seat myself down. I open the box to see the freshly prepared dumplings. I ordered too many but I take one skewer and take bite anyway.

"Hey this stuff isn't too bad." I say to no one. I eat slowly, savoring each bite.

"HEEEYY! PAUL!" I hear someone call. I turn to see Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, and Hanabi all running towards me.

"You guys followed me? Did you forget I'm under watch?" I ask them. They screech to stop in front of me all gasping for breath.

"Here." Konohamaru says and gives me a pair of goggles like theirs.

"Goggles?" I say.

"You beat Shuriken Gear! That was the test to become a member of the corps." Hanabi says with a smile.

"Even though you don't have chakra, we never turn away those with character! Congratulations." Konohamaru tells me. I laugh a little and place the goggles around my neck.

"Thanks you guys." I tell them back. 'If only kids were this nice back at home…' "Hey, you guys want some dango? I overbought." I offer them. They thank me and each take a serving. As soon as they each get one Ebisu appears.

"Konohamaru! You're parents are looking for you. So are your parents Hanabi, Udon, and Moegi." He informs them. I handshake Konohamaru and Udon , while Moegi and Hanabi both give me quick hugs. As they begin to leave, Ebisu turns to me and we just stare at each other for a moment.

"Nice weather we have, don't you think?" He asks me. My eyes widen a little and I smile slightly.

"Yeah…nice and sunny." I reply. He nods to me and sees the kids home. I begin eating again but I'm far from being finished. I try to analyze my situation in my head. I just can't understand how I can have such rotten luck. I wanted to be able to do the Kage Bushin no jutsu or Rasengan somebody into a boulder but that's all crapped up now. But then something occurs to me, how did my eyesight improve? I was only nearsighted and could see somewhat far but I wished for perfect vision. I look myself over, not much about me has changed. I still have the same body shape and clothing and everything else.

'So why…wait. The crane!' I instantly remember the beautiful animal that came to me at the Valley Of The End with the arrow in its wing. Before I came into this world I saw a white feather fall from the sky and after Tsunade punched out that idiot Kaji I saw another white feather. 'Is the crane some type of magical being? I wonder…'

"Hey." I hear somebody say. When I look up to see who it is I almost drop the box of dango, its Anko!

"A-ANKO! Uh….hello!" I greet her, feeling my face grow red again.

"What are you doing here by yourself? You don't like people?" She asks seating herself beside me.

"It's not that…I'm just introverted. Um, you want some dango? I've got plenty." I offer her, in a sheepish voice.

"Hmm, at least you have manners. Thank you." She responds and takes a good number of the dango, significantly reducing the amount in the box. It's her favorite food of course.

"I LOVE THESE! You know Kakashi can't stand sweet stuff? I don't think Kurenai does either." She coos. 'Well she doesn't like cake, so I don't know how she feels about dango.'

"Well, everyone has their own tastes." I say, handing her a can of green tea, which she happily accepts.

"So has you memory gotten any better?" She inquires while scarfing down a dango.

"Some stuff…I do remember my family, but not their names." I answer.

"Oh yeah? Got any brothers and sisters?" Anko questions.

I nod and say, "Two older brothers and an older sister."

Anko laughs and says, "That makes you the baby brother! How cute."

"Yeah, I'm the youngest." I confirm. She stares at me with some interest.

"Remember any girlfriends?" she asks with a smile. I turn red again and scoot away a little.

"No, I've never had a girlfriend." I answer which seems to surprise her.

"Really? Why not?" She asks, leaning toward me. I don't mean to look but I stare at her chest for a second but I quickly focus on her eyes, thankfully she doesn't notice.

"I don't know, I guess I'm scared of rejection." I squeak. She frowns a little, making her look even more beautiful.

"That's no fun….how are you gonna sweep the woman of your dreams off her feet when you meet her?" she asks in a spicy voice. I choke on my dango and try to respond.

She tells me careful and pats my back.

"Well let's change the subject. You seem to get along great with Naruto." She comments.

"Oh sure, I can relate to him." I tell her which makes her grow confused.

"How so?" She asks. 'Oh boy…'

I clear my throat and tell her, "Well I'm not an orphan with a demon in me-" I pause when her eyes widen in surprise. "Yes, I know about the Kyuubi but I know Naruto is innocent in that affair." I continue with, "When I was his age I was teased by all the other kids too. I was NEVER popular with anybody and I was usually by myself in school. I did make some friends but it took a long time. I also was a bit of an underdog and really the only people who were nice to me were my teachers, like how Iruka is to Naruto." I shake my head as some bad memories come back. I continue talking, "But unlike Naruto I wasn't brimming with confidence and after awhile I just gave up trying to fit in, and I got teased even more! Then my family and I moved away and things got better for me, but by that time I was almost out of school. I HATED school so much that I don't miss it, not one bit. My at home life was great though so I can't complain about that."

"What happened to the friends you made?" Anko asks.

"Some of them changed and stopped talking to me unless they needed something, the other ones moved away." I explain, then I say, "I wish I was more like Naruto so that's why when he offered to train me I jumped at the chance, I'm sure he can help me!" I smile when I say that last part, but Anko's face saddens.

"Oh….." she responds.

"Huh? Is something wrong?" I ask, hiding my grim new knowledge.

She shakes her head and her tough look returns once again. "Nothing! You whine too much ya know…." She says and turns away making her cheeks puff up. "People picked on you because you probably didn't stand up for yourself! But you wanting to improve yourself is something I suppose."

"Well thanks!" I tell her. She turns to me annoyed.

"Hey don't get the wrong idea! It's not like you and I are friends! We're just acquainted is all!" She says, pointing at me.

"Alright, fair enough." I reply. She digs into her pocket and gives me my DS back.

"Here, if you let me play this again MAYBE I'll continue being chummy with you. Now I gotta get back to my job, see ya." She says and stands up.

"Goodbye." I wave to her and she begins to walk away.

She stops and turns back to me. She places her hands on her chest saying, "If you want to touch these again you better be willing to work for it!" My jaw drops as she flashes me a sexy smile and walks away, hips swaying. I sit in utter shock, I can't believe she said something like that.

I fall back and let out an enormous sigh. 'Oh my god…' She was nice to me but I can't help but wonder if it was out of pity. I open the DS and turn it on; I use the stylus to enter the pictochat to draw a little. As soon as I do, a window opens up that reads,

"Finally! I thought you'd never get the DS back!

'…WHAT?' I can't believe what I'm seeing! Freaked out, I write back:

"Who is this?"

My mystery visitor writes back almost instantly:

"Things might not be good now, but they will get better as long as you follow Naruto's example."

I furiously write back:

"Your DS doesn't have a nickname, are you nearby?"

The unknown person responds one more time:

"We'll talk more later. For now, continue training under Naruto."

I respond with:

"WAIT! WHO ARE YOU?"

No response, the dialog box closes leaving me in amazement. My episode doesn't last because I hear ANOTHER person call my name. Out of thin air comes my best buddy in this world. Naruto drops from the sky and lands in front of me. He is holding my jacket as he walks up to me.

"What are you doing resting?" He demands. He gives me my jacket. "I told you I was going to work you to the point of exhaustion and I'm still going to do it!"

"I know, I didn't forget…" I reply, putting my jacket back on.

"Well in that case, let's go to the training grounds RIGHT NOW!" he shouts into my ear and pushes me forward and we start running. Naruto opens up the box of dango and starts eating some as we charge to our destination. "You run like a girl! Come on! Get those knees up, up, up, up!"

As we run I look down at my favorite character, his cheer making me feel better. A woman on a bicycle pulls up beside us, with a radio in the basket. The radio plays a familiar song as we continue with the rest of the day.

"_sousa kanashimi wo yasashisa ni,_

_jibun rashisa wo chikara ni,_

_mayoinagarademo ii arukidashite,_

_mou ikkai!"_

That song is another thing that cheers me up, the third opening has always been my favorite. BTW, everything I tell about myself is true, honest. Again, sorry the update took so long and I'll try to get the next Chapter finished as soon as I can. Please review! (And if its not a bother recommend my story to others, but if you cant that's fine.)


	6. Questions Pour Like The Rain

_**A/N:**__ While rereading my previous chapter I noticed there were certain lines that __should__have__ been in italic to show they were my thoughts but it wasn't the case, please forgive the error. (You all probably know what lines I mean.) I didn't resubmit the page because I didn't want another duplicate alert crammed onto your e-mailboxes. And I guess you all weren't that impressed with that last chapter._

Chapter 6: Questions Pour like the Rain

'Who am I? What am I? What will I be? Where am I going…and what will I see?… Wait. Aren't those the lyrics to the Buck Rogers Theme?'

For once I've woken up before Naruto and I pace about in the kitchen planning about how to deal with my new revelation I received a week ago. I found out my body is incapable of producing or storing chakra of any kind. I really should have expected this to be but I didn't. It does make sense; I wasn't born in the Naruto universe so of course I wouldn't have a chakra network. But since everyone has been informed that places me into a difficult position.

'_I've become infamous for a practical reason…but if they all dig deeper into it they'll stumble across the fact I'm not from any of the five great nations or their neighboring countries. One thing will lead to another and they'll really have a reason to clap me in the Bastille.'_

"ACKK! WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE UP? I THOUGHT YOU GOT KIDNAPPED!" I hear a voice shout behind me making me jump into the ceiling. When I turn around I see the irritated yet jumpy face of Naruto. I don't know about the rest of the cast, but as of right now Naruto is the only one standing at my side ever since my grim discovery. Good ol' Naruto, I bet if everyone found out my terrible secret he'd still be my friend. Yet at the same time I forgot about the Konohamaru Corps.

'_Well…let's hope it doesn't come to that even if it's VERY likely.'_ Naruto doesn't say anything else; he just stares at me with the most melancholy gaze in his eyes. He's probably still upset after what Homura and Koharu told everyone. I reach down, placing my left hand atop his blonde locks.

"What's the matter?" I ask with false innocence.

"Nothing…." He lies to me and says, "I decided to cut your training time in half today, you've been doing well this past week."

"You've put me through absolute HELL these seven days! I think I lost ten pounds." I say with weariness in my voice.

Naruto smiles and answers: "I told you before that if you want to get really strong really fast you have to train till you drop!"

"And building your muscles is a great way to attract chicks!" A dumb sounding voice tells me. I turn and jump into the ceiling again when I see Jiraiya standing directly behind me.

**(JIRAIYA'S THEME STARTS)**

"EEYYAAA! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!" Naruto demands as he leaps into the ceiling beside me, showering Jiraiya with sawdust.

"Hey! Calm down, it's only ME!" Jiraiya grumbles as he brushes the dust off himself.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I shout down to him. Naruto and I crawl out of the ceiling boards and land back softly on the floor.

"Why are you here so early in the morning, ero-sennin?" Naruto asks nervously.

"No reason, I just wanted to pop in." He answers, clearly lying.

"I know you old man, you DID NOT just come to say hello." Naruto points out.

"Alright, you got me, I need you to do me a favor…" he says smiling with his eyes shut.

"What is it?" Naruto asks impatiently. Jiraiya opens the front door and steps outside. Not too long later he pushes in wheel-barrel and dumps a pile of old looking pairs of briefs onto the floor.

"WHOA! WHOA! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Naruto shrieks while grabbing my arm in fright.

"My underwear, all of my old pairs." Jiraiya chuckles. Naruto and I both turn blue in the face.

"Oh god…" I say in absolute disgust.

"I'm trying to increase my fertility so I'm giving them to you." Jiraiya explains.

"YOU EVER HEARD OF A TRASHCAN ERO-SENNIN!" Naruto growls.

"GASP! These beauties have served me well over the years and deserve a fine resting place!" Jiraiya roars before he adds, "So I leave them in your care! See ya!"

Jiraiya starts to leave when Naruto declares, "HELL NO! THESE RAGS AREN'T STAYING HERE! THERE'S A MUSHROOM GROWING OUT OF ONE!"

"HEY I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THOSE STUPID BILLBOARDS JIRAIYA! HEY! JIRAIYA!" I thunder at him. He just ignores us and leaves.

**(JIRAIYA'S THEME ENDS)**

"COME BACK HERE YOU OLD SKELETON!" Naruto snarls. Jiraiya has left us with the pile of briefs; they're all really worn down and give off a nasty smell. They probably are all dirty! When we notice some near our feet we yelp and jump back.

"….well we're just gonna have to move." Naruto says. I convince Naruto not to move but he insists on putting the briefs in the incinerator downstairs, he hands me a crowbar.

"Why the crowbar?" I ask a little confused.

"Pry the floorboards up! This section of the floor just became a biohazard!" He orders. We begin to go to work.

**(AFTERNOON IN KONOHA STARTS)**

'_WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM? AND IT'S NOT EVEN NOON YET!'_ Naruto and I use pitchforks to scoop up Jiraiya's briefs and feed them to the incinerator. As soon as we put in the first load we hear a loud POP! Followed a backfire that shoots out at us! Then the smoke from the incinerator turns green like pea soup. We both start gagging but we press on, burning the briefs thus erasing their diseased existence.

"You put the floorboards in there right?" Naruto asks me with nervous eyes.

"They're in there, but what do we do about the hole in the floor? Is there Home De-I mean…a hardware store nearby?" I respond. Naruto shakes his head.

"We'll worry about that later; just throw a rug over the hole for now." He grumbles. After all that's said and done Naruto and I both wash ourselves five times and put our wardrobes together.

"Well let's go get breakfast from Teuchi and Ayame." Naruto says. I cringe a little. _'Ramen AGAIN…'_ I love the stuff, but I would like something else for a change.

"Hey Naruto, if you don't mind can we nibble on something different-" I begin before Naruto turns to me. His eyes flash with fire and before I know it his body swells until he stands like a titan before me.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" His voice booms, I think thunder actually rumbled outside too! I shrink down to the size of a mouse.

"Nothing sensei! I said nothing!" I whimper whilst I drop to my knees in apology.

"Good!" Naruto says happily as he reverts to his normal height. He pulls me onto my feet and drags me out the door. As soon as we shut the door I feel a drop of water hit my skull. I glance upwards to see dark clouds covering the sky. _'So I wasn't imagining the thunder.'_

"Hey what's this?" I hear Naruto ask. I look down to see a large cardboard box. I bend down to see Japanese characters that say my name!

"It's addressed to me! But it doesn't say where it's from….." I tell him. Naruto hops up and down excitedly.

"Let's take it back inside and open it!" He cheers. I grab the box; it's not too heavy so I manage. Naruto uses a kunai to cut the cardboard open. I open the flaps and gasp. Inside is something I never thought I would see again, my consoles! My PS2, my XBOX, and something I preordered awhile back: the Nintendo Wii!

"My games! All my games! THE WII! THE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" I scream in absolute euphoria. I shout so loud I scare Naruto, which makes him call me "dumbass" and slap me.

"What is all this stuff?" He asks, examining the case for the Twilight Princess. Thank god I didn't get around to buying Clash of the ninja…

"These are all my video games. My greatest friends in the world…..besides you of course." I quickly answer. _'But where did all this come from?'_ Naruto holds up a note.

"It says: Thought these would remind you of home. –M.K." Naruto reads to me.

'_M.K. …M.K.? THE HELL?'_ Though the letters are in English, only one name comes to my mind…

"So these are video games?…Well let's try these out later. I'm hungry." Naruto brings me from my little world. Before I can say anything I'm suddenly lifted into the air by clones and carried out the door. As we leave though, a huge lump forms in my stomach as I realize something, NARUTO DOESN'T HAVE A TV!

"AAH! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I wail as Naruto's clones carry me.

"HEY! QUIT SCREECHING YA BANSHEE!" They scold me. My body shuts down with grief and despair, and I awake later to Naruto jumping up and down on my stomach.

"I'M AWAKE! I'M AWWAAAKKKKEEEE!" I choke out in alarm. Ayame watches us with an extremely amused look on her face. Naruto lifts me up and places me in one of the chairs.

Ayame and her dad do their trick behind the counter and we are soon going to town with our ramen. I notice the two ramen cooks have placed a board depicting the nutrition facts of their various flavors; I read the info for what Naruto just ordered and take into account all the extra condiments he ordered…..

'_Wow! 100% of the daily recommended value of sodium!'_

"I never thought there was someone who loves ramen as much as our Naruto." Ayame tells me with a smile. Well, Naruto refuses to let me eat anything else! He says it's the core food for his "Naruto Health Regiment For Champions."

"So how is your training going?" Ayame inquires with a peaceful gaze. In my mind I see a car without any wheels…..no, more like one without an engine too.

"A little slow….Naruto's a good teacher but I guess I'm not getting it-" I begin to explain before Naruto throws an empty ramen bowl at my face, knocking me out of my chair.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO LEARN THE KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU? IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN TOO!" Naruto bellows, behind him fireworks crackle brilliantly with confetti falling from the sky.

"…..well thanks for believing me…..I think…." I answer, my face stinging and pulsing from the impact. Naruto looks off to the side towards the street. He points at something in surprise.

"YOU! ON THE BIKE! SELL ME ONE OF YOUR MELONS!" He hollers and runs off. I carefully take my seat again, I open my mouth and my jaw pops loudly! Naruto really nailed me in the face with that bowl.

"Can I have some more water please?" I ask Ayame.

"Sure, by the way….has your memory gotten any better?" Ayame inquires.

"I think it faked its death and went into hiding." I reply making her laugh.

SLAM! _'Ack!'_ Ayame and I almost dive for cover when a large watermelon hits the counter making it shake. Naruto returns wielding a kunai in his hand, he raises it into the air and then skewers it. Within moments the fruit is sliced neatly into pieces.

"Everyone grab a slice!" Naruto offers us with his tongue hanging out.

"Thank you! I hope it's as sweet as you are Naruto…" Ayame coos. Naruto's face is as red as the fruit.

"Come on Paul, get a piece." Naruto smiles.

"Thanks but…I don't like watermelon. Sorry." I explain, and once again they look at me as if I grew another head.

"…..?" Naruto shouts in disbelief.

"You're joking…." Ayame asks in amazement.

"Ah…. no I'm not. Watermelon to me doesn't taste like anything." I clarify while scratching my head.

"I HAD TO RUN TO CATCH THE GUY ON THE BICYCLE! YOU'RE GETTING A DAMN SLICE!" Naruto thunders. With the biggest slice in his hand, Naruto pins me onto the ground and tries to force it into my mouth.

"!" I choke out.

"EAT IT! EAT IT!" Naruto roars as his teeth sharpen. Ayame and Teuchi try to pull him off me. We manage to get Naruto to cease his attack but he still demands satisfaction in some form. I get an idea.

"Hey you got a blender by any chance you guys?" I address Teuchi and Ayame.

"Um…hang on, let me check." Teuchi mumbles as he digs through his cooking utensils. Finally he pulls one out and sets it on the counter. Behind him we hear a loud crash and a bunch of pots fall down burying Ayame in aluminum. After the avalanche all we see are her arms. I get behind the counter and pull her out; she punches me on the arm as I do though.

"OW!" I cry out.

"Well it was YOUR bright idea," she grumbles then asks, "Why'd you want this thing anyway?"

"Let's get some other fruits and I'll show you." I explain. I buy some more fruit from other vendors; oranges, strawberries, bananas, papaya (one of my favorites), etc. "You get a little bit of everything, add some ice and blend." I explain. The blender starts working with a pleasant hum. Naruto watches but his face soon shows signs of impatience.

"What's taking so long?" he grumbles and starts to lift the top of the blender.

"Naruto don't touch that-!" I try to stop him but I'm too late. I know because of the new orange beard that showers onto my face.

"AAAAHHHH!" Naruto wails as he gets pelted with ice cubes. Teuchi and Ayame use pots to shield themselves from the frost and fruit projectiles. I manage to shut off the machine, but by now the ramen smiths are really angry and ready to ban us from the stand.

"WAIT! Wait, let me continue with my demonstration." I plead with Teuchi who brandishes a meat cleaver at me. I turn to my blonde compatriot and say, "Naruto go stand over there."

"HUUHHHH? AW C'MON!" my teacher screeches as he stomps the ground. He begrudgingly walks away, lightning crackling from his body as he does so. A man passing by yelps as one of the bolts strikes his arm.

"I'm really sorry….but I was suggesting making some fruit smoothies and we drink some….." I apologize since I'm partly responsible for all that has occurred. Teuchi and Ayame both ponder my explanation.

"Huh…. you know that would be a great addition to our menu!" Teuchi exclaims.

"Yeah, a nice refreshing treat to have with our ramen!" Ayame adds with a smile. She looks at me and places a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry I threatened to boil you in our fryer!" She laughs. I don't laugh; she was serious! Ayame isn't a shinobi, but I'd steer clear of her all the same with all these sharp objects around.

"I wasn't really going to chop you up and serve you in a new dish either!" Teuchi says with a hearty chuckle. _'Yeah right._

After all that's said we make the drinks and all have a big glass. Naruto eyes it before he drinks it, and then downs it one large gulp. "MMMMMMMMMMMMM! Not bad." He approves and then tells me, "make more, I command it." Before I can respond (or negotiate) a loud crack thunders in the heavens above. Before we know it rain starts falling; it's light at first but then grows heavy. On the street, people cry out in surprise and start rushing inside. I've never understood that about people freaking out when it rains, it's not acid! Why are they screaming? Getting rained on isn't all bad…..

"Whoa! I just remembered about that box back at the house." Naruto starts and then tells Teuchi, "We'll see you later old man!" Naruto clears his throat loudly which I guess is his way to tell me to pay. We skedaddle back to the apartment, where I explain to Naruto what the Wii can do exactly.

"WWOOWWWW! That's awesome! Maybe more so than the DS! Let's plug it in!" He trumpets.

"Er….well that's where things get a little hazy." I say which makes him trip and fall on his face.

"Hazy? Why? What's the matter?" His voice buzzes. _'Oh well, here goes….'_

"The Wii is a little different than the DS, it doesn't have a screen built into it. We have to plug into a TV like you would a VCR." I inform.

**(AFTERNOON IN KONOHA ENDS)**

"Oh is that all? Let's just plug-wait." He stops in mid-sentence and looks around the apartment. After about five minutes his jaw drops, as he's realized the problem. "I don't have a television….AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto wails in despair and then he passes out.

I put my hand on my head and regret saying anything. I cradle Naruto in my arms and lightly shake him awake.

"Naruto! Come on man, wake up." I urge. He comes too, his sapphire peepers wet with tears.

"Uwaaa…what are we gonna do Paul?" is all he manages to say. I let out a sigh and stare out the window.

"We need a television. Without it we're nailed to the ground." My voice answers solemnly, then I add, "TVs aren't cheap either, and we need a good size one too."

"Damn! This problem has our balls in blender. Who do we know with a big TV?" my teacher thinks aloud.

"Well who's financially well off in this village?" I ask, but then I wince as my noggin immediately answers that question. We look each other in the eye and say "Sasuke."

I stand Naruto on his feet.

"Sasuke has more ryo than he can wipe himself with, he HAS to have one." Naruto speculates. _… all of this depends on Sasuke?"_

"Crap, you think he'll help us out? I don't think Sasuke is all that crazy about me." I remind him.

"Well we'll let him play too! That'll be the incentive we need!" Naruto declares. _Sasuke playing the Nintendo Wii? That'd make a great twilight zone episode.'_

"Huh…..well….you never know till you try I guess." I answer. With that we pack up the Wii and the other games back into the package. When I ask what we do about the box getting wet…

"LET'S WRAP IT UP IN ALUMINUM FOIL!" he cheers and rushes off to the kitchen.

"…aluminum foil? Well I guess that would work." I reply and add nothing else. Naruto returns and furiously covers the box in foil, and not very neatly either. Once he's finished the box now has a sphere shape; we could probably roll it over to the Uchiha estate. I reach down and attempt to pick it up, it's a tad heavy but I think I could carry it for a bit. I almost drop the box when I feel another heavy body suddenly weigh down on my shoulders.

"ACK! The heck?..." I shout aloud but I stop when I see two small legs drop from my shoulders. "Naruto! What are you-" I protest.

"My clones are always carrying YOU everywhere. This time you pull your weight." He instructs. Before I can open my mouth he smacks me on the head with a fan. "Now get going! YAA MULE! YAA!" he cheers. Making sure I have my jacket, I walk to the door and end up having to open the door with my foot as Naruto refuses.

"It's about a good ten blocks to Sasuke's place." He starts. Inside my spirit starts tearing up.

"TEN BLOCKS?" I exclaim.

"Think of this as training! You are my pupil, so TRAIN! YAA MULE!" he roars back. He kicks me to get going and we're off. I carefully walk along at a steady pace but Naruto smacks me on the back of the head and tells me to run. After about two minutes my sensei declares, "This is too easy for you! KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!"

"HHUUURRRRGHHHHHHHH!" I groan loudly. It feels like I'm now carrying a couch and a refrigerator on my back. I glance at a puddle on the ground, in the reflection are TEN Narutos perched on my shoulders!

"DON'T SLOW DOWN! KEEP GOING!" they all cheer. _'HEY! I'M NOT A DAMN SUV!'_ As I race through the streets with my body a in agony, anyone who hasn't gone inside yet yell at us because Naruto and his clones are knocking down all the clotheslines and banners hanging from the houses. "DON'T INTERRUPT OUR TRAINING!" is the only response the Naruto ten gives. Up ahead, a very thick suspended rope comes into view. Before I can say anything, Naruto's legs tighten around my neck and I feel my feet leave the ground! My fingers dig into the box.

"HHHEEEYYYYY!" I shout in alarm as we all start swinging back and forth. I glance upward to see the top clone has grabbed the rope. "STOP! I HAVE VALUABLES!" my mouth shouts upward. The clones only laugh at my request and then we begin spinning! I shut my lips tight in order to keep the ramen I ate earlier down. The sight of an upside-down village doesn't help either. Before my stomach erupts my feet once again touch the ground.

"….WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THAT GYMNASTICS ROUTINE?" I thunder. The others once more cackle at me, which just gets under my skin.

"You'll never master my lessons if you get sick from a little acrobatics!" the Naruto ten finally reply. Irritated and dizzy, I start walking but then I stop.

"Hey, what-AAAAAAAAAAAA!" the ten start saying before I start wobbling my body furiously which vibrates my passengers. I feel them all swish about violently as they curse aloud. After about a minute they all groan like their ill.

"SERVES YOU ALL RIGHT! I'D BETTER NOT CATCH PNEUMONIA!" I shout.

After several more painful minutes of jogging I round a corner and nearly smack into somebody. "WWAAAAA!" the clones all yelp as they almost topple over.

"What are you all doing?" a voice speaks. I don't know whose talking but they'd better hurry up.

"SAKURA-CHAN! Oh, Ino and Tenten too." Naruto greets them. Since I'm hunched over from all the weight they have to crouch down for me to see them. They all armed with umbrellas.

"Konnichiwa! Why the Naruto totem on your back?" Sakura asks me.

"What's a totem? Some kind of chopstick?" Naruto inquires but nobody answers.

"Besides a sadistic sense of humor? Naruto's training me." I wheeze.

"Are you carrying a ball of aluminum foil?" Tenten asks with a confused glance.

"It's not…(ugh)…..wrapped around a box….(agh)…consoles..." I choke in response.

"….What?" the girls say in unison.

"Ladies, eyes up here." Naruto addresses them with a fingersnap. The trio all stand and gaze up at Naruto. "We got a package in the mail addressed to Paul!" he continues.

"Oh yeah? From who?" Ino asks.

"Ummm, we're not sure. There was no return address see….." Naruto says. _'I'm losing circulation in my shoulders.'_

"And you just took it? What if it's a bomb or something?" Sakura exclaims.

"Relax, we opened it up and it was a bunch of stuff that belonged to Paul." Naruto cuts her off.

"YOU OPENED IT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYONE?" Tenten screams with worry.

"I'm telling you-OOWW!" Naruto starts before I hear the lament of a punch. By this time the weight has me on my knees, the mud starting to swallow me. The girls continue to lecture Naruto while my body sinks into the wet soil. Naruto retorts and I sink a couple more inches.

"Eh? ACK! STOP! STOP! EVERYONE STOP!" Ino suddenly bursts aloud and not a moment too soon because I'm now neck deep in mud. My hands keep the box of games above the earth. Sakura shoves Naruto and his legion off of me and Tenten and Ino help her pull me out. I look behind me to see the Naruto ten with their heads all submerged in the mud.

"Thank you, very much…." I say. As I stand up straight a loud pop comes from my spine. Ino shields me from the rain with her umbrella while the others pull Naruto out of the ground like a vegetable.

"How have you been?" Ino asks. My bones make more pops as she talks.

"…surviving." I tell her.

"Oh? How is it living with Naruto? Isn't it pretty messy?" She questions me.

"It wasn't so bad when I first came here. Though circumstances beyond our control made us stand in squalor this morning." I explain.

"What happened to you guys?" She asks, her voice laced in worry.

"Um….forget about it." I reply quickly. Before anything else happens I feel Naruto mount onto my shoulders and smack me on the head again.

"NOW! LET'S CONTINUE TO SASUKE'S PLACE! YAA MULE!" he hollers. Ino throws a handful of mud in his face.

"DON'T CALL HIM A MULE!" she screeches. I start running again and the girls jog beside us.

"Why are you going to see Sasuke for?" Sakura interrogates us.

"The stuff in this package requires a television. And we're hoping he has a big screen!" Naruto chuckles.

"Oh yeah? Let me get the rest of my team so they can see too!" Tenten suggests and goes off in another direction.

"Shikamaru and Chouji might be interested too, wait for us!" Ino declares and hops off to find her team. Sakura still stays on my right wing until we come upon the Uchiha estate.

"Now let's run through this again….you want to use my television to play your Nintendo Weiner?" Sasuke asks in an irritated tone.

"Um…its Wii, not weiner." I correct him.

"Quiet, commoner." Sasuke orders me; then inquires, "If I let you use the big screen in the living room what's in it for me?"

"I'll give you a kiss….." Sakura offers seductively. Sasuke doesn't react at all.

"I'd rather have my foot removed." He replies coldly. Sakura turns white and crumbles to the floor.

"I know! I'll sing you a song! Got a karaoke machine?" Naruto offers happily. Sasuke winces so hard he almost falls.

"IIIIEEEEEEEEE! I CERTAINLY DO NOT OWN ONE OF THOSE HIDEOUS MACHINES!" Sasuke quickly shoots back.

"Huh….oh well. I'll just sing without one. (AHEM!) _And WILL ALWAYS LOVE YYYYOOOOUUUUUUU-" _Naruto begins to serenade Sasuke before the audience covers its ears.

"STOP! You can use my television! Just don't croon in front of me!" Sasuke gives in. Meanwhile, Ino and Tenten arrive with the other teams.

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! STOP SHOVING ME TENTEN!" Neji groans.

"What's going on Sasuke?" Shikamaru sighs with weariness already in his voice.

"Ask them! They want to play their Nintendo Weaver!" Sasuke grinds his teeth.

"It's WII." I correct him once more.

"Didn't I request silence from you?" the Sharingan heir huffs.

"Well don't call me commoner, and maybe I will." I glare at him. Sasuke simply laughs at my assertiveness.

"Hurry up before I change my mind." Sasuke chuckles. I walk in with the estate's owner while the females force everyone else in. While I set up the console, the kids all chat with each other about different things.

"Let me have some candy Chouji." Neji tells the portly shinobi. Chouji peers down into the large bag cupped in his hands.

"Hmm, let's see here…nope. I don't have any _rich, wise-ass_ candy here." Chouji says.

"PFFT! That's probably you're 100th bag already, chubkins!" Neji shoots back.

I pause to watch the scene. The amount of steam coming from Chouji's head suggests Neji hit a nerve. Before he can retaliate, Tenten smacks Chouji back into his seat with a kendo stick.

"STOP ACTING NORMAL!" Sakura orders them all.

"You have 30 seconds to impress me before I kick you out." Sasuke says to me specifically.

"Okay it's all set." I tell them as I set up the sensor bar. They all turn to the television; with the Wii remote and nunchuk in hand I hit the power button. Sasuke switches the television on. I hit A and the Wii asks to nickname the console.

"Nickname? Why does that piece of plastic need a nickname?" Kiba asks.

"Maybe it talks to us?" Chouji suggests.

"That's not it, genius! It would have said ohayoo goziamasu and offer us coffee!" Neji declares.

"No, I don't think it's designed to cater to rich, wise-asses." Shikamaru clarifies.

"STOP CALLING ME A RICH WISE-ASS, TURNIP HEAD!" Neji screams at Shikamaru.

"Don't get mad! You're long pretty hair might fall out!" Shikamaru sticks his tongue out.

Neji activates his byakugan but then Sakura bangs his and Shikamaru's heads together.

"Well what should we call it-" Hinata begins to ask before Kiba cuts her off.

"BAD ASS MOTHER!" he interjects.

"Name it GENEON!" Naruto cheers.

"No way, SHONEN JUMP!" Tenten suggests.

"VIZ MEDIA!" Chouji burps.

"An idiot maker." Sasuke smirks. Everyone turns to him and he shrugs his shoulders, "Well Hinata asked."

"How about: Sasuke eats it?" Shikamaru replies that makes me laugh aloud.

"Ten more seconds fool." Sasuke tells me again and I want wrap the nunchuk around his neck. But then I remember he's letting me use the TV so I brush it off. I put the Wii sports CD in and the menu pops up. I hit play and the game comes to life. It asks me to make a Mii.

"Eh? What's a Mii?" Naruto asks.

"It's a player you can create for the game; I'll just make a generic one so you can see the game itself. Here, look at this." I say and hit tennis.

"A tennis court? What's so special about that?" Neji grumbles.

"Just watch." I smile. I raise the remote in the air and serve. My Mii serves as well, the computer hits the ball back but I hit the ball with a big swing and score! When I turn back, the kids all look as if I just halted time.

"That….KICKED ASS!" Kiba howls with approval.

"THAT GUY ON THE TV MOVED LIKE YOU DID!" Tenten rubs her eyes.

"PAUL! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Sakura demands. I present the remote and nunchuk to them; they shimmer with light for some reason when I do.

"The Wii remote and nunchuk have motion sensors in them. Any movements I make with them send signals to the sensor bar on the TV. So when I served the ball, so did the figure on the screen…..at least for this particular sport. Neat, huh?" I explain with a grin.

Sasuke is in shock but then he quickly says, "It…it wasn't THAT impressive…still suppose I could take a look…." He steps forward before a Naruto clones knocks him out of the way.

"THE HELL YOU ARE! I'M GETTING A CRACK AT IT FIRST!" Naruto tells him.

"IT'S MY TELEVISION! I THINK I HAVE PRECEDENCE!" Sasuke declares as he dispatches the clone.

"YO! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO LADIES FIRST?" Sakura stomps the floor making the house tremble.

"THAT'S RIGHT! CHIVALRY IS DEAD SO LET ME GO FIRST!" Ino runs toward me but Tenten swats her aside with the kendo stick she had a minute ago.

"I'M THE MOST SKILLED WITH WEAPONS! SO I'D BE A NATURAL WITH THE NUNCHUK!" Tenten points out.

"WHOA! It's not THAT sensitive to movement." I correct her.

"DOES IT COME WITH A FOOD HOLDER ATTACHMENT?" Chouji asks with shimmering eyes.

"Hinata? Why don't you try?" I suggest. The moment I say those words, everyone looks betrayed. Hinata eyes me suspiciously while Shino looks asleep.

"How could you. Can you not see we're all desperate." Shino grunts with no emotion.

"Sure…..thanks." Hinata walks up to me cautiously and carefully takes the remote and nunchuk into her little hands. "Um…..I serve the ball like I would normally?"

"Right. You don't have to run around the court though, that's done automatically." I explain, adjusting the wrist strap for her. She frowns at me as I do; I guess she still doesn't like me. She faces the screen and serves the ball; she unfortunately hits the ball out of the court.

"AAAWWWW!" the other girls all say. Hinata plays around with the remote trying to get the feel of it. She serves again, this time it lands within the court, which allows the computer to hit it back. Hinata swings the remote in a wide arc and (WHAM!) beans me across the face with it.

"ALRIGHT SHE SCORED!" Naruto cheers and the others back her up, completely failing to notice the stinging remote shaped print on my cheek as I lie on the floor.

"Hmm, this IS fun." Hinata cackles with a coy look. She continues to play as I rub my face. Before I can get up, her foot suddenly jams into my face as she makes another powerful swing.

"MATCH POINT! PLAYER WINS!" the screen declares. The girls all cheer loudly for Hinata's success, which makes her blush and my head hurt. I think she knocked a tooth loose!

"Uh? HEY! What happened? Did you fall?" Naruto finally notices me and then the others do as well.

"Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" is all I manage to say.

"You shouldn't stand so close to Hinata when she plays, didn't you see the warning on the screen?" Ino asks.

Sakura treats my injuries and eventually the kids try out the other games, Neji has the controls ready to play golf. After the screen gives him the instructions he gets ready to drive the ball.

"Thirty ryo says your ass slices into the woods." Kiba challenges. Neji turns to him with a sneer.

"Underage gambling is illegal, and I don't slice." Neji responds. He turns and swings the remote, and the golf ball takes off!

"Neji you're so awesome!" Tenten compliments the grinning Hyuuga. The ball goes far into the fairway…until it ricochets off a tree and out of bounds shifting his grin into a grimace.

"HA! You owe me thirty-ryo asshole-" Kiba laughs before Neji yells in protest.

"INTERFERENCE! THAT DOESN'T COUNT!" Neji howls while grabbing my collar.

"….why are you getting mad at me?" I ask confused.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY PERSON WITHIN ARM REACH!" He answers. Suddenly I feel nature call and ask Sasuke where the facilities are.

"Down the hall, third door on the left." He says pointing with one hand while keeping the Wii remote out of Chouji's reach with the other. I scurry down the hall and find the bathroom. It's a pretty nice bathroom; all of the toiletries look pretty expensive…and what the hell? An "Idle Boy Foot Rub Master?" I clench my teeth and fight the urge to break something.

'He's letting me use the big screen…he's letting me use the big screen…'

I quickly take care of any crude business and turn the tap on. After I wash my mitts I proceed to dry them, that's when I hear the voices. The hand towel falls to the floor as my heart starts churning. I grab the bottle of hand soap and get ready to throw it at anything that even projects a shadow wrong.

"DATTEBAYO!" One voice suddenly shouts and I drop the bottle on my foot.

'_Naruto?'_ It is him, but where is he? I glance about until I notice a small air grate. I hear his voice again, it's coming from there. I put my ear against the grate and listen. Tenten's voice is there too.

"Did you ask Sasuke if you could get a can of soda?" She asks.

"He won't notice one can missing! These cans have dust on them anyways!" He replies. They must be in the kitchen.

"You….." Tenten sighs wearily.

"So, how goes it on your end? Neji being moderately civil towards you?" Naruto begins to make conversation.

"Huh? Oh well sort of…but I don't mind it." She answers.

"I've never heard him say even thank you to you, Tenten. You must have the patience of a Shinto priestess." Naruto jars.

"Leave Neji alone!" She snaps at first but then says softly, "You don't have to worry about me…." _'He worries about everyone Tenten, you should know that by now.'_

"Huh…. if you say so…" He responds like he doesn't believe her. I don't believe her either. There's silence for a minute, well except for the sound of a cup falling on the floor; probably Naruto.

"Let's change the subject…what are you going to do about Paul?" Tenten suddenly inquires.

"What do you mean? His training is going smoothly." Naruto tells her.

"What? Training?" She asks in surprise.

"I thought I made myself clear a week ago, I'm going to tutor that kid to the top!" Naruto says happily.

"But Naruto…you know what Tsunade-sama and the others told us…" Tenten reminds him with sadness in her voice.

"Uh-huh? And?" Naruto invites her to continue.

"His body has no chakra!" Tenten cries.

"Hey for the longest time I didn't know what chakra was and look at me now!" Naruto says in between drinks. I hear Tenten trying to think of a response.

"But why? Why are you doing this?" she asks in a perplexed tone.

"Do you really need me to answer that? Isn't the reason obvious?" He asks her, and Tenten doesn't answer.

"Even though you guys find me irritating as hell sometimes I'd gladly give each one of you a hand if you needed it…..as for Paul he needs maybe the biggest hand I've ever given to anybody…yuck. That was pretty cheesy but you get my plight." Naruto goes on.

**(THOSE WHO INHERIT THE WILL OF FIRE PLAYS BRIEFLY)**

I decide to give up figuring out where the music comes from.

"Naruto….." Tenten replies softly.

"That's also why I asked about how Neji treats you! I mean, let me get a good look at you….." Naruto starts again.

"Huh? Alright…" Tenten agrees. I hear Naruto take a swig of his pop before he talks.

"I'm not in love with you or anything, but you're a good catch Tenten!" Naruto declares.

"AH! R-really?" She asks a little embarrassed.

"Why Neji doesn't treat you a LITTLE nicer doesn't make sense!" Naruto observes before he adds, "Well, Neji will be sorry later!" He lets loose a hearty chuckle while I hear Tenten giggle.

"HEY!" I hear a different voice shout, but it's coming from outside the bathroom door.

"DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THERE OR SOMETHING!" the intruder voice hollers. I rush to the door and open it, to see an irritated Sasuke with Chouji dancing around nervously.

"Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now…" Chouji whimpers.

"Well it's about time! You better not have stolen any of my towels!" Sasuke tells me before he says to Chouji, "Flush twice and if you plug up the toilet your family is paying the plumber." With that Chouji throws me out of the way and enters the bathroom.

"We need you in the living room, be quick about it too!" Sasuke orders. While he storms off I pick myself up. As I walk by the bathroom door I hear a very loud (PLOOP!) and Chouji sighing in satisfaction. _'Yuck!'_ I head back to the others; before I reach them I'm stopped.

"Still haven't moved out of Naruto's apartment I see." I hear Hinata's voice tell me. I jump and turn to my right to see her leaning against the wall with…a sketchbook? She's sketching in a sketchbook.

"I…uh….no not yet…um, what are you drawing?" I ask nervously. She looks up to me with that evil grin I saw last week.

"I'm drawing my own manga! Here, have a look." She smiles and shows me her drawing.

I read the title, "The Chronicles of Freeon: The Biggest Freeloader of the Five Countries." When I see the character I point out, "Um, Freeon looks exactly like me."

"EEW! What an ego you have!" Hinata scowls. I sigh hopelessly; Hinata's hate towards me is really breaking my heart. Where's that kind, soft-spoken little girl I'm so familiar with? She then shows me more panels and explains the plot, "In this issue Freeon mooches so much food off of the people of the wave country they eventually declare bankruptcy yet again."

"Hinata, isn't there anything I can do to get on your good side?" I appeal to her.

"You already know what you can do." She answers immediately.

"BESIDES that." I appeal again.

"COMMONER!" I hear Sasuke summon me, sounding more aggravated. I run towards his voice, while Hinata tries to grab me.

"Hey! Come back here! I'm not finished with you yet!" She calls. The others are all back in the living room. They turn to face me as I walk in with Hinata.

"What's this thing, the Virtual Console?" Shikamaru asks but Naruto cuts him off.

"Let him explain later, right now he needs to continue his training." My mentor tells them. Everyone stares incredulously at him.

"So you really were serious about teaching him….." Sasuke says in a drab tone.

"AMAZING! I GET TO SEE NARUTO'S FIRST STUDENT! WHAT A HISTORIC MOMENT! !" Lee hoots while his body bursts into flames. Unfortunately Lee's flame makes too much smoke and the fire alarm goes off.

"YOU GREEN MEATHEAD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Sasuke screams at the top of his lungs. I look up and see that there are sprinklers installed!

"Cover the WII! COVER THE BOX!" I shriek and throw my jacket over the console and its accessories. Just in time for the sprinklers that begin to come on, Kiba thankfully heard my cry for help and has rewrapped the box in the foil. The girls all start screaming in surprise, Neji, Chouji, and Shikamaru all try to make for the nearest window but instead slip on the now wet floor and slide into a wall. Naruto takes refuge under a coffee table and Sasuke is busy strangling Lee.

" I CAN FEEL THE POWER OF YOUTH IN YOUR HANDS AS THEY CLENCH MY THROAT!(URK!)" Lee chokes happily, the color of his face alternating between blue, green, polka dot, and plaid.

"I'M GONNA SQUEEZE THE YOUTH RIGHT OUT OF YOU! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS WILL DO TO MY HOMEOWNER'S INSURANCE?" Sasuke demands from his bowl cut compatriot. Eventually the fire department comes and it takes seven firefighters to yank Sasuke from Lee, they also shut the sprinklers off. While the chaos ensues I hastily place the Wii and its equipment back into the box and cover it with its aluminum barrier. We are all standing outside now, drenched beyond all belief. Thankfully the rain had stopped sometime before this all happened

"Oh no, oh no, what do we tell our sensei's?" Hinata worries aloud.

"Don't mention the Wii." I say quickly and the kids all face me.

"Why not?" Tenten asks.

"Because they might take it away and not give it back." Sakura answers for me.

"Exactly, so let's say the reason was….Lee ate some really good bean dip." I suggest, and they stare blankly at me.

"Who in the hell is going to believe that?" Neji asks.

"Gai would." I assure them. Their blank expressions vanish and they all murmur in relief and agreement. I look around for Sasuke, I spot him talking with a guy in a suit. I can't hear them talking but the suit writes something on a clipboard and them hands it to Sasuke. He takes a look at what's written and he turns whiter than Orochimaru.

"(CENSORED!)" Sasuke shrieks. _'Oh…..he was talking to the insurance guy.'_ Five minutes later, the firefighters try to resuscitate Sasuke with an oxygen tank.

"Eh, he'll be fine." Naruto pats worried Sakura and Ino on the back. Eventually Sasuke comes to and a firefighter walks him back to our group.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asks with that monotonous suck-up tone.

"Let the insurance goons handle the mansion. Come watch our lessons." Naruto suggests.

"Sure…..I could use a good laugh." Sasuke replies.

"Huh, I forgot about that…." Chouji says.

"Oh, this I've GOT to see." Neji shakes his head.

"UUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT A HIP MOMENT-UULPPP!" Lee begins to flame before the firefighters open a fire hose on him.

"Let's get you guys dry…." A fire lady says.

"Well it's good to know we won't get wetter than we already are." Kiba growls. Once we dry off, the others follow Naruto and me to the apartment.

"WHOO! It smells like you slaughtered a cow in here!" Shikamaru complains. Naruto and I don't answer. We just place the Wii and the other games on the kitchen table and we all go to our usual training spot. The two of us stand in a clearing while everyone else sits in the shade. I'm nervous when people watch me exercise, it's a problem I had when I took Taekwondo awhile back home.

"What are you going to show me today?" I ask my teacher in a shaky voice.

"First I want you try to leap through the trees again. Start from the highest tree." He instructs. I find the tallest one and begin to climb, when I reach the top I peer down; the kids all look like ants. Sakura, Ino, and Tenten wave to me while Hinata points to me and makes a slashing motion across her neck.

"ALRIGHT! BEGIN!" Naruto shouts from below. I find the next largest tree and take a deep breath. I find a thick branch to stand on, and start to run. I'm about to jump before: "WAIT A SECOND!" Naruto shouts suddenly and I stop so abruptly I almost fall off.

"(GASP!) WHAT IS IT?" I holler back irritated. Naruto puts one hand up.

"AS YOU JUMP…..SAY: FOR KONOHA!" He orders.

"WHAT? WHY?" I ask in disbelief.

"JUST DO IT!" He replies. _'Lord give me strength…'_ I position myself to jump again. With all my might I make a tremendous leap from the branch.

"FOR KONOHA!" I roar loudly as I soar over to the next tree only to smack into it shaking a bunch of leaves from the branches. Dazed I look up to see a Woodpecker in front of my face.

"BBRRRAAWWKKK!" it squawks in fury and starts pecking the top of my head and flies off.

"DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING!" Naruto orders down below.

I take my position and leap to the next tree and shout, "FOR KONOHA!" once more before I smack into THAT tree. "Ugh…..FOR KONOHA!" I shout before THUD! "ow…FOR KONOHA!(THUD!)…FOR KONOHA!(THUD!)…..FOR….KONOHA! (THUD!)…for konoha….(THUD!)…for kono (THUD!)….for ko(THUD!)…for (THUD!)….for (THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!)" Miraculously I make it to the ground despite the repeated impacts.

"Congratulations Uzumaki. You've found someone more hopeless than you." I hear Neji tell Naruto.

"SHUT UP! LAST WEEK HE KEPT FALLING OFF THE BRANCHES BUT HE DIDN'T THIS TIME! HE'S MAKING PROGRESS!" Naruto declares. Naruto orders me to try again, and I keep plowing directly into each tree. Eventually, I manage to leap from tree without falling or hitting anything for once. As I land on the ground, I notice the ground is covered with wood shavings from my previous crashing.

"Yeah! You're getting better!" Sakura applauds.

"And it only took you three hours to get it right." Neji adds, reading a newspaper.

He drops the paper though, when Naruto chucks a sandal at his head.

"Can we move along before Paul shaves the trees down to nothing with his head?" Sasuke asks. Naruto huffs.

"Hmm…..let's move onto weight training. Chouji I need your help with this." Naruto answers and makes Chouji choke on his pretzel. We proceed to a nearby hill where Chouji stands before me.

"What do I have to do?" Chouji asks.

"Use that jutsu that turns you all round." Naruto answers. Chouji makes the necessary handsigns.

"_Nikudan Sensha!" _Chouji shouts and his head and limbs disappear as his stomach swells until he is perfectly round.

"Now, you try to push him up to the top of the hill." Naruto then tells me. Everyone else but Lee and Shino recoil in fright.

"You can't seriously expect him to make it to the top!" Sasuke comments.

"AH! I SEE! AN EXCELLENT WAY TO BUILD ARM STRENGTH!" Lee cheers and spreads his arms out, hitting Sakura from the side which knocks her satchel onto the ground. Sakura shouts aloud as the contents spill out on the ground, kunai, scrolls, makeup cases, and tampons scatter. The boys all examine the tampons with wonder.

"Huh? What's this? Some kind of chewing gum?" Shikamaru wonders aloud and begins to unwrap it.

"EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!" the females shriek and start beating the boys into submission.

"OW! OW! WHY ARE YOU ASSAULTING ME?" Neji howls in protest. After the beating, they all help gather everything else. I try to push Chouji to get him going but he doesn't budge.

"OOF!" I grunt. I put more force into my push only to see my arms sink into Chouji's gelatin like girth. I immediately try to pull them out, and Chouji laughs like he's being tickled. Once my arms are free I push once more and he finally starts to roll forward. _'My god, it's like trying to lift a car!'_ Chouji slowly begins to go up the hill with my help but I'm soon out of breath. My eyes peer down to the ground; I only moved him six inches!

"HEY! NO SLACKING!" Naruto shouts. I look to see they still haven't picked everything up yet, the girls still braining the boys whenever they reach for a tampon. It takes everything I have just to hold Chouji in place, but I still try to push him up; my arms feeling like they want to crumble to dust. While I push him, I hear a: KER-THUNK!" I look around, but I don't see anything. Since nothing seems out of the ordinary, I struggle on.

"GGYYYYAAAAHHHHHH!" I scream in agony. Chouji starts yawning loudly, as if he's sleepy. An hour and a half later, I near the top of the hill! I can't believe I haven't been crushed yet! My shirt is drenched from my sweat, my throat is dry and my arms feel like lead. Another agonizing 15 minutes pass, almost there…..

"KEEP GOING!" Naruto shouts as he walks beside me. Then…SUCCESS! I make it to the top!

"UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" I fall to pieces on the ground. While Naruto fans me with a palm tree leaf, I still hear the others searching.

"Is that everything Sakura?" Ino asks her.

"There's still one medical supply missing, it's a syringe-" Sakura starts before Lee interrupts her.

"UUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO! HE HAS DONE IT! THE POWER OF YOUTH HAS SMILED UPON PAUL THIS DAY!" Lee cheers.

"Huh, he actually pushed Chouji up the hill." Sasuke nods.

"HUMPH!" Hinata groans in disappointment.

"You look dehydrated…." Tenten tells me. Naruto gives me hearty slap on the back.

"GREAT WORK! Okay Chouji! Paul's all done!" Naruto gives Chouji a playful shove. Oddly, Chouji doesn't respond. He's still has the _Nikudan Sensha_ activated. A question mark appears above Naruto's head.

"Chouji?" I ask.

"HEY! I SAID PAUL IS ALL DONE! DON'T IGNORE ME-DATTEBAYO!" Naruto growls and kicks Chouji. I cry aloud when Chouji starts rolling down the hill.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE IT IS!" Sakura screams. We all ask what she's talking about, she points to a shiny object sticking out of Chouji's bloated form, and it's a syringe! "MY SEDATIVE! THAT'S A POWERFUL SEDATIVE I USE TO PUT PEOPLE TO SLEEP!" Sakura cries. Our eyes all widen with surprise and we start shouting too. We all start chasing after Chouji in a mad panic. He's rolling very fast now, knocking trees down and smashing rocks.

**(GO GO NARUTO BEGINS...AGAIN)**

"CHOUJI! WAKE UP! SOMEBODY PULL OUT THAT THING!" Kiba hollers in fright. Neji leaps onto Chouji and what looks like a circus routine gone wrong ensues. Running in the opposite way to keep from falling, Neji tries to grab hold of the repeatedly passing syringe. Eventually he grabs hold of it.

"I'VE GOT IT-UWWAAA!" He screams as he is suddenly yanked off his feet, the syringe refuses to budge and Neji rolls along with Chouji. He is soon being smashed whenever he touches the ground.

"UGH! IT'S STARTING-UGH! TO SLIP!-UGH!" Neji calls in between the crushing. Soon Neji flies off of Chouji and caroms off a tree stump. Naruto catches him in mid-air and carries him as we continue our pursuit.

"NEJI! DID YOU GET IT?" Naruto demands. Neji reveals the syringe-it's entirely empty.

"FUCK! IT WENT ENTIRELY INTO HIS SYSTEM!" Sakura curses aloud. She tries to grab hold of Chouji, but he hill grows steeper and he soon goes too fast for any of us to get hold.

"HE'S HEADED FOR THE STREETS!" Sasuke points ahead. To our horror, Chouji leaves the training grounds and enters the streets of Konoha! The villagers start screaming and dive out of the way as the fleshy ball of destruction plows forward. Kakashi soon appears, reading his book. Then he looks up.

"Ano? AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!" he shrieks before (SQUASH!) he is flattened by Chouji. We all leap over Kakashi's broken form and press on.

"SORRY KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto calls back. Showing no signs of halting, Chouji spins at top speed, smashing through everything in his path. Thankfully, only a few houses have been hit. He then plows into a pile of large sacks, ripping them open. Rice flour erupts into a cloud, hampering our vision. We rush into the cloud, coughing and choking from the flour. When it clears, Chouji is nowhere in sight!

"Oh no. This is bad." Shino mumbles uninterested. We all look around, but no avail.

"_BYAGUKAN_!" I hear Neji and Hinata roar in unison. The cousins scan the area with their hereditary gifts. Within moments, they both point in the same direction. Naruto makes some shadow clones to carry me once more and we take to the rooftops. As soon as we do, I see various spots of the village in ruin. The punishment I'm sure to receive for this sends shivers down my spine. I glance to my right side to see Hinata smiling. She reveals her sketchbook again, this time a drawing of me being menaced by a mob of angry villagers. My head snaps in the opposite direction, facing one of the clones. Not too long later, we finally get a bead on Chouji. His onslaught still shows no signs of ending.

"If I can just get a hold of him….wait, I've got an idea." Sakura says. She looks to everyone, and then continues: "The training Tsunade-sama has been giving me has granted me enhanced strength. I'm not as strong as her, but I think I might be able to stop Chouji. But I need some help!" She has all of our attention now.

"What do you have in mind?" Sasuke asks.

"I need most of you to clear anyone out of the way so they don't get hurt…..and I need someone who can throw me hard enough to get in front of Chouji." She explains.

"THROW YOU?" Tenten exclaims. Sakura nods.

"Yeah…I think it should be Paul." Sakura decides, making me jolt with discomfort.

"ME?" I ask in amazement, "S-s-s-shouldn't Naruto do that?" Sakura shakes her head.

"Ideally, you should have the strongest arm strength because of you being older than the rest of us." She tells me. I honestly disagree with her.

"B-b-b-but, I don't have the training and experience you all have! How can I have better arm strength?" my voice quivers.

"Well we are all probably faster than you and have better form, but you're body is still more mature…..besides, didn't you tell Naruto you love swimming?" Sakura points out.

'_Darn it….should have kept quiet about that one.'_

"Yes…?" I answer, sealing my fate.

"Well then you should have decent arm strength! And I need Naruto's clones to get us close enough!" She gives me a hard stare. Looking at everyone, she explains her plan in detail…

"I'm still not sure about this…." I tell them, my heart beating. Naruto gives me a painful pinch on the neck.

"HEY! I don't want to hear that from you!" Naruto scolds me. To make things worse, the others all agree that I'm the best for the job. I contemplate shaking free from Naruto's grip and dropping to the ground. Before I can do that however, Sakura takes hold of my hand.

"Now c'mon, are you ready?" She urges me. _'um….NO!'_

"…I suppose." My voice chokes out.

"All right…EXECUTE!" She commands. Everyone else takes off in different directions, leaving me with Sakura and Naruto. "GO NARUTO!" she shouts. Naruto makes the all-too-familiar seal.

"_TAJUU KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!_" he roars. An enormous cloud sweeps over us, blocking my view. I can't see anything but then I feel my feet touch something and I am suddenly pulled forward so hard my arm pops. The smoke clears and I gasp. Sakura holds my arm tightly and pulls me along at great speed, her body glowing with Chakra! What makes me gasp is that we are charging across a massive bridge made of Naruto clones! Sakura pulls me along at such great speed Naruto has to keep making clones as we zip along. I hear the clones grunt aloud in pain as we step on them.

"UGH! OUCH! UUWA! OOH! NOT THE FACE!" the clones all wail at Sakura and me. We begin to finally catch up to Chouji, but we still cannot get in front of him. Sakura puts her free arm around me.

"GET READY TO JUMP WITH ME! AND WHEN I SAY SO, THROW ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN!" She screams into my ear, and then calls out, "NARUTO!"

"GOT YOU-DATTEBAYO!" the clones reply. Up ahead, I see one more building directly in Chouji's path. _'HUH? An adult video store?"_ Down in the streets, every single man I see wails in absolute terror, screaming for our help. The women however cheer Chouji on! Some even wave fans in the air! My attention snaps back onto Naruto as the bridge soon forms a sky ramp. Sakura's grip tightens making me cry out! _'And I'M the one who does the throwing?'_ At the end of the ramp, the clones all perform a _henge no jutsu_ and create a trampoline. Almost there….

"JUMP!" Sakura trumpets. Then we leap onto the trampoline and jump again, which catapults us into the air. The force at which we climb makes me sick to my stomach. We are directly above Chouji when my companion swings herself into my arms.

"NOW PAUL! THROW ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN!" she pleads with me.

"okay…" I squeak. Sakura is surprisingly light as I hoist her over my head, and with all the strength I can muster I hurl her downwards. Like a human javelin she slices through the air. Within moments she lands on the ground, about ten yards in front of Chouji, I did it!

"ALRIGHT-UGHH?" I begin to celebrate before I realize how high up I am. I start panicking as I fall like an anvil down towards the dirt. As I plummet I see Sakura standing like a soccer goalie, waiting for the Chouji ball to come to the net.

"HHHHYYYYYYAAAAA!" Sakura shouts as Chouji impacts. His spherical form and her small hands ram into each other. (BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMM!) The meeting creates an explosion of soot from the wreckage and dry spots of soil! _'Did she get him?'_

**(GO GO NARUTO ENDS ABRUPTLY)**

"OOOFFFF!" I respond to my reunion with the dirt. A horrendous pain flares through my body, but I don't break anything! All that falling from the previous week must have toughened me up, I guess. My eyes gaze forward, the dust begins to settle, with Chouji beginning to slow! Sakura was triumphant!

"NOOOOO! WWWWHYYY?" A man screams, making me jump. All around me the men folk drop to their knees in tears! _'What happened?'_ I turn towards Chouji and I get my answer. Where he and Sakura now stand is atop a demolished building-a fallen neon sign titled, "The Icha Icha Island Video," sticks out from the mess. The video store didn't make it. Some parts of it are on fire even!

"HELL YYYEEAAAHHH!" I hear Sakura shout. Chouji is suddenly hoisted into the air, with said kunoichi keeping him up- like a female Atlas holding up the earth. She smiles proudly at me and I applaud her. But I'm suddenly knocked aside by a flock of men. They all rush to the broken store and begin digging through the ruins in a frantic manner.

"SAVE THE TAPES! SAVE THE DVDS!" One man weeps as he pulls out some videos.

"THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE TOASTED! THEY'RE STILL GOOD! THEY'RE STILL GOOD!" Another jabbers stupidly. Sakura's proud grin has now been replaced by a fanged scowl.

"!" She snarls as the adult entertainment fans surround her. "GET OUT OF HERE!" Sakura screeches and begins to kick them away.

"UUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO! SAKURA AND PAUL WERE SUCCESSFUL! THE POWER OF YOUTH AND SENIOR YOUTH HAND IN HAND!" Lee suddenly cheers from behind me. Him, Naruto and the others all charge right past me to Sakura. Neji and Sasuke appear at my left. Arms crossed looking cheerful as ever, they stare straight ahead.

"Why does this happen every week? It seems like right around this time every week; somewhere in the village somebody attempts a simple activity which somehow turns into the running of the bulls." Neji observes.

"Eh. We took care of it quicker than usual." Sasuke adds.

"No we didn't." Neji corrects.

"Okay so it didn't go any faster, sue me." Sasuke replies. Sakura's eyes light up at the sight of Sasuke.

"SASUKE-KUN!"she squeals and throws her arms out in joy….launching Chouji back into the sky! "uuuuuuuuuuuuu….." Sakura stammers. To my terror Chouji starts plummeting back down to my position. Neji and Sasuke both flee but for some reason my feet are cemented to the ground. I gaze in stupor as Chouji comes for me.

"COMMONER!" Sasuke hollers to me.

"IDIOT! YOU'LL BE CRUSHED!" Neji howls.

"RUN PAUL!" Naruto cries. I finally snap out of it, turn, and sprint as fast as I can. Chouji's so huge he's blocking out the sun, bathing me in an ominous round shadow. I push my self harder until the shadow covers me no longer. That's when I feel Chouji smash into the ground behind me. The dirt beneath me gives away and I feel myself fall into a rapidly growing crater. But to my surprise, I'm suddenly pushed up so hard I zoom out of the hole and return to the heavens.

"!" my chords play as I rocket up, up, and away. Dozens of buildings pass beneath me as I clear them in a wide arch. My screaming hasn't halted though, as the wind has now caused my body to go into a spin, making everything goes blurry.

"!" something goes, I've flown into a flock of ducks! Several of the water fowl collide with me with fantastic strength I knock their feathers off of them and onto me! Some even get into my mouth and I start gagging.

"BLAUGH! HHAAACCCKKK! HHHAAAARRKKK!" I spit out. The ducks must have slowed me down because I notice I'm losing momentum and start to drop. Despite the wind stinging my eyes they show me my destination, which is (I don't believe it) the hot springs! _'WHY DO I KEEP ENDING UP HERE?'_ Appalled is the best way I can describe a reaction to my luck. Oh well maybe I'll land into the water around the springs again.

"YOU NEVER LEARN DO YOU?" A woman shouts angrily below. All of a sudden Jiraiya comes charging out of nowhere, right in my path! I cry out and he looks up.

(BBOONNNGG!) My legs are open for Jiraiya's head to ram in between them. _'UUUURRRRKKKK!'_

"NOT AGAAAIIINNN!" He wails and we topple into the water once more.

The shock from the impact stuns me so bad I'm paralyzed. After about a minute I'm yanked from the water and onto the walkway. As soon as my vision clears I see an amazed Tsunade, Shizune, Anko, and Kurenai all in bath robes staring at me incredulously and I feel myself blush again; but they aren't the ones who pulled me out. That's when I notice Jiraiya holding me by my jacket, looking more furious than the last time this happened.

"Alright…." He begins with a low growl and then asks, "Since you don't have a chair glued to your butt, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME?" I don't answer; I'm still dazed from the pain. I turn to the others.

"Are you alright?" Tsunade asks worried. I take a big gulp and open my mouth to try to speak. "What is it?" she addresses me again.

"I think I just gave birth….." I stammer. Her eyes widen in confusion.

"HUH?" She asks as if she didn't here me right. But then her expression changes as if she understands.

"If this is what it's like I am so sorry….." I choke. Everyone is silent, until Anko bursts out laughing and is soon joined by her fellow females. Jiraiya doesn't laugh.

"THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS! NONE OF YOU HAD YOUR FACE WHERE MINE JUST WAS!" Jiraiya clenches his teeth. When they are finished laughing, they have to wipe tears from their eyes. Shizune gasps though.

"What happened over there?" she says pointing. We turn to see and my stomach churns as I see the massive dust clouds from Chouji's rampage. I had forgotten all about it! Tsunade's smile fades and she places a hand on her on her forehead.

"Oh no….what happened THIS time?" The commander-in-chief wonders aloud.

"HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEYYYY! PPPPAAAAAAUUUULLLLL!" Someone from far away calls. Before I know it I'm suddenly being crushed in an excessively strong hug. I glance down to see Naruto of course.

"You're okay….." he says, sounding as if he wants to cry. I'd rub his head to calm him down but my arms are pinned. I try to get him to loosen his grip but he doesn't give, ignoring the fact that I'm soaked.

"Naruto you're hurting me….." I tell my teacher. He finally lets me go allowing me to breathe. The other kids soon arrive, each of their faces pasted with different emotions. Sakura, Ino, and Tenten look relieved; Hinata looks disappointed, Kiba, and Shikamaru drool at the hokage and jounin while Sasuke, Neji, and Shino glance about indifferently. My eyes widen as I notice Chouji is awake and back to his regular size! Oddly enough, he holds a steaming mug of coffee which he sips every millisecond.

"Alright you guys let's have it. What happened and how did it happen?" Tsunade questions us.

"It was all Paul's fault!" Hinata squeals happily. Everyone but me gape in surprise at her sudden enthusiasm. Hinata blushes from the attention. Shizune faces me.

"What's she talking about?" Shizune asks me. As soon as I do I drop to my knees and cower before Tsunade, my eyes focused on the ground. They all explain what occurred to Tsunade while I stay silent.

"Oh God…not more expenses!" she wails in despair.

"Well not too many buildings were destroyed; I don't think the cost will be that bad." Jiraiya speculates. Slowly I raise my head in fear wondering what Tsunade's expression will be. Her face is washed with exhaustion and irritation, but not rage. I still don't feel any better, though.

"I'm sorry. I never guessed this would happen." is all I manage to utter. She steps toward me and I move away nervously. I don't get far though because she grabs my arm and pulls me onto my feet. I stare down slightly since I am a little taller than her. My heart is pounding since I have no idea what she's going to do, what if she rips my arm off and beats me with it?

"Which parts were damaged? Show me." Tsunade tells me.

"Okay...Huh? AH!" I answer before she throws me over her shoulder and carries me off. The rest follow their leader as she leaps from roof to roof. I'm amazed she hasn't snapped me like a twig yet, but that can easily change so I shut my eyes and don't utter a word. I try not to think about how mad she is but it doesn't work! Part of me wishes I met my end courtesy of Chouji's bloated form. Tsunade suddenly stops and sets me down; but she still holds my arm in her Olympian grip.

"Hey, open your eyes." Tsunade commands me. Doing as I'm told I see her frowning at me and behind her is where Chouji first bombarded the village. Nothing too serious was destroyed-a few stands, mailboxes, rickshaws, boxes and other things lie broken on the ground. "Is this part of it?" She asks me. Quickly I nod in response. I'm once again slung over her shoulder like an animal pelt as she moves onto the next hot zone. I glance at the others all of them look grim or serious, yet Hinata looks as if she won the lottery. Kurenai shoots her a dirty look. The next stop we see some medical ninja carrying Kakashi away on a stretcher. Tsunade motions them over.

"What happened here?" She asks them.

"It looks like he was hit by an elephant. We gave him some morphine to dull the pain." one medic explains. Kakashi is all wrapped up in bandages and babbling incoherently.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura rushes to his side.

"Ooohhhhhh…" he moans. Sakura takes hold of his hand.

"Can you hear me?" Sakura asks in a worry-laced voice.

"W….wha?" he answers.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Sakura speaks louder.

"Huh?...What?...Horse? No…I won't eat it!" Kakashi yells in a stupor.

"He's a little messed up from the morphine, but an overnight stay at the hospital should fix him up." The other medic assures us and they carry him away. Tsunade shakes her head.

"Well if he doesn't I'll treat him." She mumbles to herself. We all scan the route Chouji took right to the where Sakura managed to stop him.

"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Jiraiya screams in a pitch higher than a girl's. Tsunade sets me down just in time to see the Toad sage lying on the ground crying, a little cloud directly above him showers snow. It's obvious he hasn't taken the loss of "Icha Icha Island Video" very gracefully.

"Meh, it's not a TOTAL loss." Anko jokes.

"THERE HE IS!" A man suddenly shouts. A mob of men start coming at me armed with torches, pitchforks, hatchets and other items, causing flashbacks of Resident Evil 4. Naruto quickly runs to my aid and stands between them and me.

"You have to go through me first!" Naruto challenges the mob. The men don't seem to take Naruto seriously, and that fuels his resolve even further. But before he can act, Tsunade taps the ground with her foot that sends a tremor through the ground.

"All of you return to your homes! This was an accident and we need this area clear to clean up." Tsunade shouts aloud. This gets the attention of the mob; they reluctantly back off. I let out a sigh of relief but Tsunade stares solemnly at me. "Don't celebrate just yet." She advises me.

"What are you going to do?" Shizune asks.

"I'm going to take money out of the defense budget to pay for the repairs." She starts to explain but then she grabs hold of my arm again. "You however will help in the repairs at least five hours a day without pay." She instructs me.

"But that's not fair! Why does he have to do it?" Naruto exclaims.

"I never thought I'd agree with Naruto, but isn't that a little harsh?" Sasuke asks her. I do a double take. _'DID SASUKE JUST STICK UP FOR ME?'_ "I mean, when you look at this, it was all really just bad luck." He continues.

"HOKAGE-SAMA! I MUST PROTEST AS WELL! WERE IT NOT FOR ME CHOUJI WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INJECTED WITH THE SEDATIVE!" Lee declares with a flaming fist.

"I don't want any arguments! Did you all not see the mob?" Tsunade cuts the others off. "They were ready to beat him up or worse if I hadn't stopped them. If I don't make an example out of Paul then it will look like I'm giving him special treatment!" She clarifies. Naruto stares in disbelief at her. I haven't said a word though…..I am partly responsible for this but at the same time I am a little upset with Tsunade. Now that I think about it more, I'm not entirely guilty of causing this! It was bad luck like Sasuke said. All eyes are on me now; they must be wondering what my reaction is.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Naruto demands.

"Well what can I say? I really don't have a choice." I answer feeling powerless. Naruto stares down at the ground. Hinata smiles victoriously, and that makes me feel worse. Eventually everyone begins to go his or her separate ways.

"You'll start tomorrow. Ask Shizune where you need to go." Tsunade informs me before she begins to leave. Shizune looks at me sympathetically and then follows her master. I feel a hand on my shoulder; it's Anko.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think her decision sucks too." She whispers and says bye. Naruto and I are all that's left now.

"I don't get it, why didn't you say anything?" He questions me.

"I don't know….." is the best answer I can give. We don't train any more since neither of us is in the mood anymore. The rest of the day passes normally. Later during the evening, I have trouble going to sleep so I read the player's manual for the Wii.

The next day, morning isn't exactly cheerful. We don't go to the ramen stand for breakfast though, Naruto let's me pick wherever I want in order to cheer me up I guess. After we eat we go to the Hokage's mansion to get my first assignment.

"Why don't I make a clone to fill your place?" Naruto suggests with hope.

"What if Tsunade dropped by to check on me? Wouldn't see know I was playing hooky?" I point out to him. His hope fades.

"Yeah, she would…" he replies. We spot Shizune holding Tonton as she walks down the hall. I was wondering when I'd get to see the little oinker. I like piglets; their ears, nose, hooves, and of course the curly tail. Curly, straight, curly, straight…

"Hey you two, how'd you sleep?" Shizune greets us.

"Horrendously." Naruto answers. Tonton leaps out of Shizune and runs up to my feet. She starts sniffing me, only for a question mark to appear above her head.

"What's the matter?" I ask her, even though I'm not fluent in pig speech.

"Maybe you smell like an old greenhouse again?" Naruto cackles. Ignoring Naruto I pick Tonton up from the ground, she grunts at my abruptness but doesn't grow agitated.

"Snort!" the piggy says.

"She likes you!" Shizune tells me.

"Well I like piglets." I reply and hand the side of ham back to her owner. Tonton oinks again to Shizune.

"Oh that's right…you need to start the repairs today, don't you?" she recalls. I hang my head down.

"Can I help him?" Naruto wonders. Shizune shakes her head.

"Tsunade-sama thought you'd want to, but she says Paul has to do this alone." Shizune answers with serious glance.

"RRGGGHHHH!" is all Naruto says.

"Well just tell me where to start so I can get five hours out of the way." I request.

"Uh? Don't you want to say hi to-" Shizune begins before I cut her off.

"No I don't, I just want to get started please." I say impatiently. Shizune looks hurt, but I'm not mad at her. "I just don't feel like talking to Tsunade is all." I reassure her.

"Please don't be angry at her." Shizune says.

"Well I'm not ecstatic either." I reply. She sighs sadly.

"Okay, come with me." The medical expert says with a frown. She leads us away from the tower. Not too long later, we come to the first spot where Chouji hit the village. Already there are men and women workers picking up whatever needs to be thrown away or recycled.

"We must've made more mess than we thought, I was sure they'd have cleaned this part up already." I point out. Some of the debris has lodged itself into nearby houses. I see a fruit cart sticking out of one of the roofs.

"Are you sure I can't help? A few of my clones would speed this up!" Naruto pleads with Shizune, but again she shakes her head. "EEEYYYAAAA! Well I'm gonna stay right here even if I can't help!" he declares. Shizune walks up to one of the workers and hands him a stopwatch.

"This boy will help in the repairs. He's volunteered to do at least five hours of work a day." Shizune explains.

"What if we finish before his time is up? I just hand him off to another site?" he asks.

"Right, don't drive him too hard!" She says with a nod. She walks back to me. "I got to go back, try to keep smiling!" She tells me with a hand placed on my shoulder. She starts to walk; she takes another glance at me and then disappears.

"Well time to work." I say to myself.

"Think of this as training since we're here." Naruto adds. The head guy starts me with trash collecting. "Yay, earth day." Naruto jokes. That doesn't take too long, so I give some of the other workers a hand pulling that fruit cart out of that one roof. We use a crane to pull it out while I and the other workers begin to nail in new beams into the roof to place new tiles. All is going well before the fruit cart above starts raining leftover fruit.

"WATCH OUT!" Naruto warns me, but I simply move to the side to avoid the shower of nature's candy. I wave triumphantly to Naruto until a durian smacks me on the head and I tumble off the roof. "MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN!" I hear Naruto yell at the top of his lungs. He rushes to lift me up shouting, "Come on You're on the clock!" He coaches me back up the ladder to continue the roofing.

"You've done about an hour." The foreman tells me. I take very short breaks for the rest of the morning, as I want to finish my mandatory five hours. I have to say, my experience of Konoha so far isn't at all what I had in mind. I figured me and Naruto would be exploring the five countries taking down super-powered ninja baddies. Instead, I'm treated like a sideshow freak thanks to no chakra network, Hinata has declared me her sworn enemy, and I'm wasting my morning hammering nails in a damn roof! Lo and behold, my five hours finally end but the roofing still isn't finished; and I have to come back everyday until all of the repairs are done.

"YES! YOUR DONE FOR TODAY!" Naruto cheers before telling the foreman, "Now take off his shackles. I punch out and Naruto and I walk back to the apartment. That wore me out; construction work is much harder than it looks.

"Well I'm going to bed, goodnight." I tell Naruto and walk toward the bedroom.

"GOODNIGHT? IT'S 3:00 IN THE AFTERNOON!" He cries.

"I'm aware of the time." I reply, but of course I know he won't let me sleep. I stop when I hear a poof and two arms wrap around my waist. I turn behind me to see a half-naked Kurenai!

"Don't go to sleep yet…unless you want me in there with you….." she coos into my ear. My heart rate quadruples.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I'LL STAY UP! I'LL STAY UP!" I give in. Naruto deactivates his jutsu and reverts to normal.

"HEHEHE! I don't know why you're scared of Kurenai, Anko, Shizune, and the old lady but it comes in handy." Naruto chuckles triumphantly.

"You are one very mean little boy….." I tell him, shaking.

"You'll feel better after you wash up! We've wasted a good part of the day so…..AH! We'll stick you in the washer!" He says, holding a bottle of fabric softener.

"FORGET IT!" I roar in his face. He frowns.

"It could be a whole new use for it! Think of it, Laundromats could double as public baths!" Naruto ponders with gleaming eyes.

"No. Sorry but I'm not machine washable." I shake my head.

"EH? You got a tag on your body I'm not aware of?" he demands. I spend fifteen minutes stopping Naruto from undressing me so he can find my "tag." He gives up when we hear a knock at the door. "A visitor! How's my hair?" he asks me.

"Nice and pointy." Is all I say. He pulls out a stool and peers through the peephole, or rather the hole in the door Naruto made with a screwdriver yesterday.

"Huh, I guess we were hearing things that weren't there…" he wonders.

"Well I'm going to wash up before we do anything else." I announce as I walk to the bathroom. I hang my jacket on the door and undress. I put my clothes to wash and dry while I take a shower. Revitalized by the soap and shampoo, I dry off and replace my now crisp and clean duds. I clean the goggles Konohamaru gave me and put them back around my neck. Some gel, cologne, and I'm fully repaired. Now watch Naruto burst in telling me we need to get to training. I'm glad I told Naruto to hold onto my jacket while I worked, since I'm not sure I can wash it. I laugh at how the patches only fueled more suspicion towards me.

"Why do you take so long in the bathroom?" Naruto asks me.

"It never hurts to take pride in your appearance. Besides it's a must if you want to make a good first impression." I answer.

"OHHHHH! You think the Fourth put on makeup every time before he went off to fight?" Naruto wonders. I don't even answer him.

"Hungry…." I mumble to myself and walk to the kitchen. I reach for the fridge and pull it open. But soon as I do something grabs onto my shirt and I'm pulled forward! Suddenly I'm being punched repeatedly in the face and then I fall backward onto the kitchen floor.

"PAUL! WHAT HAPPENED?" Naruto shouts, his face tight with concern. I point to the fridge.

"How long has that sour cream been there?" I demand. I lift myself from the floor and suggest, "Since you won't let me sleep, want to wander around aimlessly?"

"Yeah, I don't want to sit around either." He says and we're off. Who knows? Maybe we'll see something interesting. "How long do you think the repairs will take?" Naruto asks.

"I'm not sure, but I know construction work takes a good amount of time. I'd say it will take two days at the least to finish that roof I was working on earlier." I explain, which makes Naruto weep. Our part of the neighborhood wasn't hit thankfully so it's pleasant to walk through. We don't say anything; we just enjoy the busy yet peaceful street life.

"Paul?" Naruto says suddenly.

"Huh?" I reply.

"If Konohamaru doesn't want to, do you want to be my second in command when I'm Hokage?" he wonders. Well this makes me feel better.

"If I'm still around, sure." I tell him. He stops in his tracks and turns to me.

"W-what do you mean by that?" he asks, his eyes looking watery, and then he says, "You're not dying or anything?" I put my hand up.

"NO! NO! I meant if my memory still hasn't come back!" I assure him. He tilts his head to the side, not looking very convinced. "Don't give me that look. The ways things look now, I don't think I'm going anywhere." I add. He pauses but then nods.

"Sorry…..it's just that…..I get the feeling that somewhere down the road one of my closest friends is going to leave me…." He says. This makes my heart sink, because I know for a fact that it's not a just a feeling.

"Well aren't you the most cheerful looking pair?" A voice calls from ahead of us. We turn to see Anko of all people. Already I feel the blood rush to my face, its favorite place to visit lately.

"Anko-sensei? ACKK!" Naruto begins to say before she pinches his cheeks.

"Hello whiskers, caused any problems today yet?" Anko teases him. Naruto breaks free and rubs his face.

"I don't cause trouble! Trouble just has an uncanny knack to find me!" Naruto declares.

"Oh really? What about the sushi incident?" Anko suggests. I blink in surprise. The Sushi incident? I'm pretty sure nothing called such happened in the main story.

"What's the sushi incident-" I begin to question before Naruto gives me a fearsome stare.

"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW A SINGLE THING. ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT I WAS NOT INVOLVED WHATSOEVER!" he snarls. Apparently this is a sensitive topic due to the shade of red on Naruto's skin so I back off.

"Alright. I'll leave it alone. You'll tell me when you're ready." I answer. Naruto growls even louder.

"THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME TO SAY!" Naruto thunders. I cross my arms and stare into space out for a second. '_Sushi incident, sushi incident, what is the sushi incident? Eh, I'll worry about that later.'_ I snap back to the real world to see Anko's eyes staring directly into mine! I cry out in surprise, I didn't notice she had walked over to me.

"Hello useless, what have you done today?" she asks with her trademark grin.

"Ah, hello Anko! Er….well I just finished my first five hours not too long ago." I answer nervously. Her grin disappears.

"I got to say, you have the most self-control I've ever seen in a person. If I were you I'd be fighting this with every ounce of my being!" She tells me, which I take as a compliment.

"Thanks, but I don't want think about it now." I shake my head.

"Why you over here on this side of the village, sensei?" Naruto asks her.

"What? I'm only supposed to stroll about my neighborhood and no where else?" She exclaims baring a fist at Naruto.

"I just never see you around here is all!" he answers quickly.

"Well you don't always pay attention to your surroundings!" she retorts, "Besides, I wanted to see Paul here." She chirps. Suddenly I feel as though I just struck gold. _'ME? SHE CAME TO SEE ME? OH MY GO-WHAT DO I SAY? WHAT DO I DO?'_ She puts an arm around me, and looks around briefly before focusing on me. The suspense is horrible; I eagerly wait for her explanation. It takes all the strength in me not to throw my arms around her in a hug.

"Um….." I choke out nervously, but her smile has me in a trance.

"See, I was wondering…...I mean if you're not busy…." She starts off.

"Y-YES?" I urge her to continue with excitement. She chuckles in embarrassment while scratching the back of her head.

"Can you show me how to beat baby Bowser in the New Super Mario Bros?" She wonders. I almost burst into tears at the spot. The gold I found has left a green stain on my hands, and that stain mocks me with the most hideous laughter I've ever heard.

"Oh…..sure, why not….." I sob.

"GREAT! I've been having a craptacular time trying to beat him, and-huh? What's the matter?" She asks with an oblivious tone in her voice.

"I'm sorry….I'm just very hungry…" I lie through my teeth.

"Well I bet, after that morning episode." Naruto comments.

"Is that it? Well let me buy you some dumplings as thanks for helping me out!" Anko offers. She drags Naruto and I to the dumpling shop where she buys the Deluxe Family Feast for herself and the Twin Box for us. Naruto and Anko shove the dumplings down while I give Anko a few tips on the New Super Mario Bros.

"Have a fire flower as your reserve or active item, and just unload on him." I tell her.

"Hey what's that?" A voice behind me says. A man peers over my shoulder and stares in wonder.

"It's the New Super Mario Bros." I explain.

"Huh? That little television you're holding?" he misunderstands. I shake my head.

"Oh, no. New Super Mario Bros is the game I'm playing. This is the Nintendo DS." I correct him.

"What is it?" A lady asks. Before we know it a whole crowd of people swarm around our table to see what the fuss is about. They keep asking what the DS is and what it does, so I explain over and over. All of the questions start to get on my nerves; I want to be left alone with Naruto and Anko.

"Would you be willing to sell this?" One man asks.

"This is not for sale, sorry." I answer immediately.

"Oh come on! You can get another one can't you?" A woman asks me.

"No I can't. I can't replace this, and I don't want to sell it either." I say with a firm tone.

"Do you all mind? He was giving me some tips." Anko tells them, sounding impatient.

"I think you're being very unreasonable about all of this, young man." Another man says, ignoring Anko. They all start offering me money for the DS. Soon it turns into an auction.

"I'll give you 1000 ryo!" One says.

"2000!" Another says.

"4000!" Is the next offer I hear.

"A shiny donkey!" A woman says. That last offer was the kicker; I need to leave this restaurant. They all start arguing with each other, so Naruto, Anko, and me pay the bill, get a few to-go boxes and climb out the nearest window.

"What the hell just happened?" Anko asks after we've made our escape.

"The DS is a powerful weapon." Naruto concludes.

"Oh well. Um where was I? Oh right. Like a said, just pummel him with fireballs and he drops like a stone." I remind her.

"Great. I was getting tired of that little bastard spiking me to death." She jars. She tries out my tactic and she bests him.

"OOOHHHHH!" Baby bowser howls in defeat. Pleased with her success, Anko makes the peace sign along with Mario. She suddenly jolts in surprise.

"Huh? He's still ali-HE'S RUNNING!" Anko cries out I surprise.

"He's the son of the final boss. One fight won't finish him." I note. Anko stares at the DS in shock, and then turns to me.

"I'm in world 1, how many worlds…..?" she begins to ask.

"You have seven more to go, and each is naturally harder than the last." I explain.

"I have to fight this little bastard seven more times?"She demands. I shake my head.

"Some of the worlds have more than one fortress, so more than that." I inform. Anko falls to the ground in sorrow, so I try to cheer her up. "The rest of the game is really fun! There are many secrets to unlock with all the star coins, and besides another way to kill him quick is to get a giant mushroom and just step on him!" That seems to help as she bolts up from ground.

"No foolin'? In that case, charge!" she cheers.

"There they are!" Someone suddenly yells.

"Eh?" Naruto, Anko, and I say in unison. Behind us, the people from the dumpling shop come into view; they followed us!

"They were tracking us!" Naruto groans.

"Bunch of jackals, let's run for it! Anko shouts and tosses a smoke bomb onto the ground. Next thing I know the three of us are standing on a roof a few yards away.

"Huh? Where'd they go?" A girl cries.

"Split up! We'll find them yet, and then we'll start our bidding again!" A woman says. The group disperses, Naruto and Anko chuckle.

"Ha! Lost them!" Naruto laughs.

"We didn't even try!" Anko giggles. We pause for a few minutes and then we go off again. We come upon the ninja academy where Konohamaru and his entourage now attend.

"I'm going to say hi to Iruka-sensei real fast." Naruto announces and scurries inside. Anko and I wait underneath the tree in front of the main entrance, the one with the wooden swing. Anko lets out a sigh and seats herself. She looks at me impatiently.

"Well what are you waiting for? Push me!" she orders.

"Yes, boss." I grumble back. For a moment, I'm tempted to shove her as hard as I can but I don't. I have manners after all. I push her and she swings gently.

"What's the matter muscles? PUSH!" she barks at me. This time I shove her and she swings forward violently.

"WOAH! OKAY! Sorry…" she replies. We come to a compromise and I give her medium strength.

"I still can't believe you just went along with this work for free thing. The Queen of Konoha is just using you for a scapegoat." She begins.

"Please, I heard enough of that from Naruto." I tell her.

"Well he's right!" she retorts.

"What would I do? You really think she'd care about what _I _had to say?" I shoot back. We both grow quiet; her head is turned, staring at me and I stare back.

"If Naruto heard what you just said, he'd pound you harder than Tsunade ever could." is her only response. I jolt at her words, she's probably right.

"Look I don't want to argue with you. Let's change the subject, huh?" I suggest.

"Fine by me." Anko huffs.

"You seem to like Naruto well enough." I say I order to break the silence.

"Well sure, he pulls his weight the most around here." She explains, then she asks, "What about you? Why do you like him so much?" _'Where to begin…?'_

"There are so many reasons….he doesn't take garbage from anybody…he's not scared of anybody…he seems to like everyone and everything…he talks big, but he ALWAYS backs it up…everyone who meets him always changes for the better…" I start to say before I notice the amazed stare on Anko's face. "Well from what he's told me I mean!" I quickly cover up.

"You were starting to sound like that Hyuuga girl for a second." She says. I scratch the back of my head, blushing. I am NOT in love with Naruto…I just admire him so much even if he _was_ a fictional character. "Don't be embarrassed, it's kind of nice to hear someone besides her hold him in such high regard." She pats me on the shoulder. "I hardly hear Tsunade say anything nice about him, but I think that's like asking Kakashi to stop reading Icha Icha Paradise."

"Huh." I reply.

"What's taking Naruto so long?" Anko asks annoyed. She hands me the DS and goes into the Academy to find him. Alone, I seat myself into the swing. I'll never forget how impossible it was to get one of these things during recess, especially the holy grail of swings: The only one with the rust free chains that was in the shade. I almost leap up in fright as the DS turns on! I open it up to see the picto chat screen.

The screen reads,

"How are you?" _'Finally! Where has this guy been?'_

I write with the stylus,

"Much better now you're here!"

My unknown visitor types:

"How nice! I'm sorry if I've driven you crazy by waiting."

I frantically write,

"You've got to help me! My welcome in the village is getting worse!"

My friend writes,

"I know, many of the ninja don't know what to do with you."

"What do you mean?" I type, dreading what I'll read.

"Some think you're a spy of Orochimaru, others think you're some type of walking corpse…" my digital friend writes, making me feel worse. Then he/she writes quickly, "Hang in there! If you lose your calm now then I can't help you!"

"Alright…..sorry. Where are you anyway?" I type.

My friend types in response, "

I can't tell you, but I can see where you are now."

I bolt up from the swing and glance about. The DS chimes, making me look back down towards the screen.

"Don't bother trying to find me. We can't meet in person just yet!" he/she types.

"Okay." I write back.

"I've been doing some digging, I think I have a way to help you get by until I get something more concrete." My friend types.

"I'll take anything! What is it?" I type quickly.

"You remember that forbidden scroll Naruto stole?" the screen reads. My stomach turns to water.

"I don't have to steal it do I?" I type with a shaky hand.

"No you don't need to touch it." The screen says and I sigh in relief. Then the screen reads, "there was a jutsu in there that might help you. The shinobi have never tried to cast it because they consider it junk so they got rid of it."

"And what? You know how it goes?" I ask.

"Yes, I've never tried it but the concept looks sound enough to attempt." The person says, then types, "This jutsu requires a few items to work properly, but you have to gather them."

"This sounds dangerous. How do I know you're on the level?" I write.

"I don't have to tell you how little choice you have, do I?" he writes, making me quiet. "Listen, I PROMISE you won't be wasting your time." My friend adds.

"Alright, what do I have to do?" I write.

"There's a small farm about three miles northeast outside the village. An elderly couple live with their son there." He/she begins.

"They can help me?" I scribble.

"Not them physically, what you need is the crib the son slept in when he was a baby."

The screen says, confusing me.

"The crib the son used? Why the crib?" I type.

"I'll explain when the jutsu is ready, trust me." Is the only answer that's written.

"How am I going to get out of the village? They won't let me leave!" I write in despair.

"You're best chance to leave will be in the morning, two days from now. As for how you get outside, you'll have to think of that on your own. Sorry." The deep-throat double types.

"I'll try, I don't know how I'll pull that off though." I write in response.

"Good, I'll contact you again when it's almost time. Till then, be patient. And above all else, DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS JUTSU!" my informant responds immediately.

"Wait! What's the name of this family I have to find?" I quickly ask. I wait for one more response…nothing. I shut the DS off and curse aloud. _'Two days from now?How am I going to figure out a way out in such a short time? Can't do that alone…but I can't tell Naruto because he'd want to come with me!'_ I begin to pace around the swing, thinking…and my head hurts. I pause when I think of whom I might be able to turn to. Naruto and Anko aren't back, so I guess she hasn't found him yet. Gathering all of my things, I slip into the academy. My feet carry me through the halls as I peer through each classroom.

"Are you done yet?" A little girl's voice catches my ear. I follow the direction it came from…eureka 7! I peer into a classroom to see Konohamaru, Udon, Moegi, and Hanabi. Udon and the girls sit patiently in a few chairs while Konohamaru writes on the chalkboard with a bored expression. I can't read what he's writing though, as its in Kanji. I almost jump out of fright when subtitles appear before which read, "I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE SENIOR CITIZENS TO DRAG RACE."

"Oh Paul! Hello!" Hanabi greets me with a smile. The others all turn to me.

"FINALLY! An adult that's not a teacher!" Konohamru tosses away the piece of chalk. I walk towards them and they scurry over to me. Konohamaru demands, "HEY NOW! Where's your salute to your commander?" The others stare blankly at him. But just to humor him, I stand at attention for him. He smiles arrogantly and says, "At ease."

"Ham." Moegi jars.

"Ignore my men." Konohamaru says, causing Moegi and Hanabi to stare icily at him. Moegi's glare is cute while Hanabi's is a little more menacing. Hanabi quickly brushes it aside though; I guess she's embarrassed she let it get to her.

"We haven't seen you much lately, how have you been?" Udon asks. I shrug my shoulders.

"Okay I guess…though I'm close to an existential meltdown." I joke, then I say, "What about you four? Nobody suspects that you helped me right?" They all shake their heads.

"Nah, they're all totally in the dark." Konohamru reassures. I nod.

"Great, great. Listen…I'm sorry but I need you guys to help me again." I say with guilt. This gets there attention as their eyes all widen, we all sit.

"What do you need to do?" Udon inquires. I take a deep breath. This might comeback to bite me in the rear, but they're all I have.

"My memory hasn't gotten any better, so I decided that maybe if I explore outside the village maybe I can retrace my steps a little to see if anything comes back to me." I explain.

"But remember what the Elders said? You can't leave the village!" Moegi reminds me.

"I know, I know. But here's where I need your help…" I continue.

"I see where you're going! You need us to help you get outside so you can putter about!" Konohamaru catches on.

"Right. I need to leave from the North Gate. I think I should leave two days from now." I tell them. Hanabi nods in agreement.

"That would be a good time. That's when we start preparing for the village's anniversary celebration at the end of the month. People all over the land of fire start coming to participate and experience the anniversary." She explains.

"So all of the gate guards will be busy trafficking the tourists in?" I ask them.

"Right, but that means there will be more shinobi posted there as usual to act as security." Udon adds, making me go busto.

"How will I get out?" I exclaim.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Konohamaru grins and says, "The Konohamaru Corps. can provide passage." I stare at him for a second, but then nod.

"Alright. Well we should meet up somewhere later; I came with Naruto and Anko so they're probably looking for me. I'll see you guys; you know where to find me." I tell them. They bid me farewell and I hurry out of the classroom. The halls are still deserted, that means no one followed me. Clinging to my jacket I casually stroll down the corridor.

"AAAAUUGGHHH!" Someone suddenly screams.

"LEAVE US BE-DATTEBAYO!" Another voice calls. Naruto and Anko appear from around the corner running in panic. Not too long later the mob from the restaurant comes out hot on their tail.

"THEY FOLLOWED US! MOVE YOUR ASS!" Anko waves to me. Before I can say anything, they grab me by the back of my jacket and drag me along the floor behind them!

"WE WANT DS!" the mob shouts hungrily. One-man dives at me with his arm outstretched; to my shock he latches onto my leg, my pant leg to be precise. His grip loosens for a moment but he clasps the corduroy.

"LET GO! THESE ARE JCREW, JERK!" I shout at him. He hangs on tightly, his eyes flash excitedly.

"We just want the DS! We'll pay any price you want!" he shouts. I grit my teeth, these people haven't heard a word I said it seems. I quickly reach into the foodbox.

"I NEED THE DS! I CAN'T REPLACE IT! HERE, HAVE A DUMPLING ON ME!" I roar back and ram a dumpling into the guy's mouth.

"UULLPPPPP!" he gags and releases his grip and tumbles on the floor.

"HEY! THOSE BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ONE OF MINE!" Anko yells at me.

Naruto and Anko move quicker, they sweat nervously; I know because the droplets are the size of golf balls hitting my neck!

"THERE! THROUGH THOSE DOORS!" Naruto says, in a leader like tone.

"WHAT? WHAT DOORS? UUUUWWWAAAA!" I scream as I feel myself take a hard right turn that flings me into the air. I find myself inside a supply room. Naruto and Anko release me and quickly lock the door.

"I'm about ten seconds away from summoning something!" Anko complains to the two of us.

"Please don't do that Anko-sensei! They're only villagers." Naruto calms her down. Before Anko can respond, we hear banging outside the door.

"We know you're in there! Come out!" We hear a woman call. Anko and Naruto turn to the door.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" Anko screams. To my shock, a hand punches a hole in the door and swipes at Naruto. _'They're like a bunch of damn zombies!"_

"Just give us sell us the DS! That's all we want!" A man pleads. Naruto growls aloud.

"THAT'S IT! YOU ALL SURE AS HELL CAN'T TAKE A HINT SO HERE I COME!" Naruto roars. I grab Naruto's arm.

"Naruto no! Don't hurt them!" I beg. He turns to me, giving his fox smile.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to politely escort them from the building." He assures me.

"HUH?" I stare at him stupidly. He turns to the door at makes the Kage Bushin handsign. _'What's he going to do __THIS__ time?'_

"NOW! CROWD CONTROL STYLE…." Naruto begins to say before he begins to make shadow clones, so many in fact that I'm slammed against the wall.

"HEY! I'M BECOMING ONE WITH THE TILE DOWN HERE!" Anko wheezes somewhere beneath me.

"GOT THE IDEA FROM CHOUJI! HYAAA!" the clones all shout. Th clones empty out of the supply closet. Dazed and confused I look to see he clones have all formed a big ball and roll onto our pursuers. But they are not crushed! A random clone will latch onto one villager and stick them onto the ball. "KATAMARI DAMASHII NO JUTSU!" the clones shout as they roll the villagers away.

"Um….." I stammer. Anko stares in stupor.

"Well you can't fault his creativity." Anko comments. After the action cools, the three of us walk away from the school.

"Paul where did you go?" Naruto asks. Anko and him both turn to me.

"I bet he was trying to steal some chalk!" She smirks.

"Why would I steal chalk?" I demand. Anko shrugs her shoulders

"Draw yourself a girlfriend?" she teases. This hits a nerve.

"Hardy har, har." I answer, then I retort, "You speaking from experience?" This makes Anko blush so hard she punches me on the head. After she calms down she checks her watch.

"Well I need to get back to work, so I'll see you guys later." She tells us. She gives Naruto a pat on the head and me a painful slap to the back. We wave her off, leaving us alone.

"Alright. Let's not waste any more time. Let's train!" Naruto says and forces me to start jogging. We spend the rest of the day working mostly on taijutsu before we eat dinner and get ready for bed.

"Listen Paul….." Naruto begins to talk. We are both in our beds: him in his bed, me on the futon.

"Huh?" I ask.

"I know a lot of the other ninja have been giving you a lot of crap about you training under me. I've overheard some of them saying you're too old to start learning this stuff." He explains.

"…." I had something on the tip of my tongue it leaves me.

"But they can all kiss it." Naruto then tells me. I look up to see him leaning over the edge of the bed, looking down to me. "You'll be the best latecomer around! So don't give up on me!" he cheers and raises his fist into the air; but doing so throws off his balance and he falls off the bed and onto my face.

We get up earlier this day, 6:30 to be precise in order to get my hours out of the way. I work furiously on the repairs, below Naruto sings a little jingle: "AT YOUR SERVICCE NIGHT AND DAY, IF HE CAN'T DO IT, YOU DON'T PAY! PPPAAAAUUULLL!"

At around 10:15, I decide to take a break for breakfast. Naruto had previously run off to a nearby place to pick up something. I recommence at 10:40 and meet my quota at a quarter to 1:00.

"ALL DONE! NOW THE REST OF THE DAY-who's that?" Naruto suddenly says. While he was shouting, Konohamaru, Udon, Moegi, and Hanabi, came and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Good afternoon, Naruto-kun." Hanabi bows to him.

"Where did you all come from?" Naruto jumps.

"From our homes, where else?" Konohamaru jars.

"Oh….." Naruto nods.

"Naruto! Did you hear the news?" Konohamaru asks.

"What news?" Naruto wonders.

"I heard on the radio if you can guess the Shodai Hokage's favorite food you'll get free ramen for a year at Ichiraku!" Konohamaru explains, Naruto says nothing at first. But then he raises a fist into the air. A gust of wind blows through his hair and his eyes flash.

"As the future hokage, it is my duty to know all there is about the hokages before me. Where else can there be MORE CRUCIAL KNOWLEDGE THAN THIS?" he demands, gazing hopefully to the heavens. "CCCHHHAAARRRGGGEEEE!" he adds and runs ahead, leaving me behind completely. When he vanishes, the kids all chuckle to themselves.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"That should keep Naruto-kun preoccupied for awhile." Hanabi giggles.

"THAT WAS A LIE?" I ask in disbelief, "he's gonna be furious when he finds out."

"We'll just say we found out it was a lie but it was too late to tell him!" Moegi claps.

"It is kind of mean, but we can't have him around." Udon tells me. I tilt my head to the side, not quite following.

"Forgotten so soon? Please come with us." Hanabi tugs on my hand. We all start walking, Konohamaru, Udon, Moegi, and Hanabi glance about cautiously.

"Hanabi, see if any one is following us." Konohamaru whispers. Hanabi nods and makes a handsign with her free hand.

"Byakugan!" she quietly chants, and her bloodline gift is activated. She remains silent for a moment then reports, "Six ANBU are keeping watch on us from afar. We are out of earshot for the present." _'SIX ANBU?'_

"We need a distraction." Moegi squeaks. The others nod, I grow nervous. I had no idea there were people tailing me like this. _'They're probably dying for any reason to arrest me…'_

"Right! Execute get-away protocol!" Konohamaru whispers. Moegi starts to tear up.

"MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY!" Moegi begins to wail uncontrollably. Everyone else in the vicinity turn to us.

**(IT'S THE TRAINING! STARTS PLAYING)**

"HEY! WE NEED TO FIND A MOTHER OVER HERE!" Konohamaru shouts aloud. All at once, several people flock to our side asking what the matter is.

"I NEED TO FIND MY MOMMY!" Moegi bawls. More and more people come, till a large crowd surrounds us. Some men taller than me smash against Hanabi and me. Hanabi then pulls me down to whisper in my ear.

"These men have cut off the ANBU's view! Take your jacket off give it to me!" she orders. Not asking questions I remove my jacket and hand in to Hanabi. She pulls out a scroll and wraps it around the jacket. She makes a handsign and a puff of smoke emits and the jacket is gone!

"What did you-" I begin to ask before she slaps on a red wig on my head.

"SSSHHH! Do as I say! _Henge no jutsu!"_ she scolds me and then performs another jutsu. She takes on the form of an elderly old woman-her likeness is extraordinary!

"Wow! You really look old!" I tell her before she hits me on the head with a cane.

"Watch your mouth youngling!" Hanabi scoffs before she goes, "What's this world coming too? Mothers ditching their little girls…." Some women surround Moegi and console her and offer to help. Taking her by the hand they start to lead her away with Konohamaru and Udon following close behind. The other spectators tag along as well so we move along with them. Eventually I speak up again.

"Where's my jacket grandma?" I ask her.

"HUH? Speak up son! It's too hot to be wearing that thing! Besides it makes you stand out more than the sun!" she chuckles then adds, "Look around you boy, other young men have the same color clothes as you like a big happy matching family!" I glance about; there are other boys my age with dark brown shirts and the like, not to mention some with heads of black hair. _'Slick you guys, real slick…'_

Sometime later, we come upon a house where Moegi points.

"T-that's my house! I'm pretty sure my mommy is in there!" she says.

"Are you sure? Want us to wait with you sweetie?" A lady asks her. Moegi fidgets about like she's trying to decide, all is quiet for a moment.

"We'll keep her company hon! Leave it to us!" Hanabi shouts aloud. "If anyone besides her mom is there, I'll bat him on the bean with my cane." Everyone laughs aloud.

"Um…. right. We'll look after her." I add shyly. The crowd all say goodbye to Moegi and to us. We get a bunch of thanks and compliments by a bunch of strangers. It's really something how much power a weeping girl has over a crowd.

"Get inside boy! What are you waiting for, a statue to be built?" Granny Hanabi jars. We enter Moegi's house. Konohamaru and Udon shut the door and lock it.

**(IT'S THE TRAINING! ENDS)**

"Alright guys that was perfect!" Konohamaru praises us. Hanabi lets go of me and form a handseal. With another puff of smoke she reverts back to normal, smiling proudly.

"How was my fake crying? Pretty good, huh Paul?" Moegi asks me, her tears vanished.

"I really thought you cried for real." I nod, removing my wig.

"I already calculated our rate of success to be 100%, and we proved my hypothesis correct." Udon reports, fiddling with a calculator.

"Paul why were you so quiet?" Hanabi asks me.

"Huh? What do you mean?" My eyes stare down at her.

"When we reached the house that was your cue!" Konohamaru stomps his foot. I still don't follow, and this makes all four of them sigh in frustration.

"We were waiting for you to tell them you'd keep me company, but you wouldn't speak up!" Moegi scratches her head.

"I was only supposed to keep a look out for the ANBU and mask your location but you forced me to fulfill you role as well." Hanabi explains, putting her hands on her hips.

"Sorry…." I apologize to them.

"Well never mind, let's get this meeting started!" Konohamru commands and walks deeper into the house. Moegi's home is your run-of-the-mill home. Not the MGM Grand but its more than enough to get by and live comfortably. I'm eventually led to her backyard. It's pretty big, bigger than mine at least. The lawn is smooth and finely cut, accompanied by a large tree that casts a good portion of the yard in a shadow. I'm on a patio right now with a canopy over my head. There is of course a table and chairs; nearby is a rather big sandbox.

"We've been working on a plan that can help you give the guards the slip so you can leave the village." Konohamaru motions me over to the sandbox, "Now come let at our model." I glance at the box.

"Huh? You have a map hidden in the sandbox?" My guess comes from my mouth.

"No, the yard isn't secure enough for that." Udon corrects me.

"So where's your model?" I put my hands up. While I stand there, the kids split up and walk to each corner of the box. _'Huh?'_ The four of them make a few complex hand signs and then touch the sand.

"_KONOHAMARU STYLE: SAND KONOHAGAKURE NO JUTSU!"_ they all chant. The sand begins to bubble and pop like boiling water, and begins to rise up. Frightened, I step a few feet away. The sand begins to take shape in the form of …..buildings! My fear is soon replaced by wonder as small buildings are molded from the grainy earth…..until the sand depicts a 3-dimensional model of Konoha village!

"You guys….THIS IS AMAZING!" Is all I can say as I rush over to the sandbox. My eyes examine the model at every possible angle; the detail is phenomenal! I even recognize some of the buildings.

"Great jutsu huh? I'm the best there is!" Konohamaru declares.

"It took all four of us to cast the jutsu Konohamaru," Moegi reminds him, causing a bunch of wavy blue lines to hover over his head.

"Way to bring down a man's pride Moegi….." the leader groans, Hanabi and Moegi roll their eyes.

"You guys even made the Hokage Mountain!" I cry excitedly, pointing to the First, Second, Third, Fourth, and Tsunade. Udon throws a fan at my head.

"C'mon Paul! We don't have time to waste!" he tells me. The blood rushes to my face in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry….I just hardly ever get to witness things like this." I apologize to my younger superior.

"Very well, I'll start this briefing." Hanabi nods.

**(SURVIVAL EXAMINATION BEGINS)**

'Well that song certainly fits the mood…'

"As you all are aware, we have only today and the early hours of tomorrow morning before we commence operations." Hanabi tells us, then adds: "There are four main gates that enter people use to enter the village from the north, east, west, and south. Our main focus is the north." She points to the north gate and to my shock little sand figures resembling people appear! I rub my eyes in disbelief but there they are! They even move! Moegi nudges me and tells me to pay attention.

"Um…..where are the guards?" I suddenly ask. Hanabi points to various spots.

"There are always two posted at this small booth, two standing guard at the gate, and at least four in these guard towers here and here." She reports. My heart sinks at hearing this.

"Oh no…" I groan.

"Don't give up so soon, hasn't Naruto-sempai taught you never to give up?" Hanabi asks me before she says, "Now normally these gates are not busy but when we commence our operation people will be swarming through." As she finishes more figures pop up from the sand and move through the gate, and seeing this calms me a little.

"Wait…won't I be harder to spot with so many people around?" I wonder aloud.

"Right! Now you're catching on!" Konohamaru praises me. _'This why he said it would be best to leave on this day…'_

"Okay….but won't there be more guards than usual? What if more ANBU tail me like before?" Is the next issue I bring up.

"We can simply employ another tactic similar to today, but we'll need a more elaborate distraction. But when we have that idea we'll get too it. Now the guards posted at the gates all work in shifts, but they always eat breakfast in the guard tower mess halls." Hanabi explains.

"We plan to tamper with their rations so they will get minor indigestion." Udon adds.

"Right, but we have to be very careful to make sure they all don't experience it all at the same time! That will look too suspicious." Hanabi points out, "Also we should poison the food at all of the guard towers, but it must be something non lethal…like a bad herb or ingredient. As such the police will simply consider it a bad shipment."

I nod eagerly, this sounds like it just might work. "But one question…what will this grand diversion be to catch the attention of Naruto?" I can't help but wonder.

Hanabi winks at me, "You let us worry about that. So what do you think?"

"Well why not? Things can't get any worse for me…." I complain. The four of them grow confused.

"Are you still upset about what the council members said?" Konohamaru asks.

My response is immediate, "OF COURSE! I envy you kids. All of you are already more than capable of killing me simply because you have chakra. I don't have chakra, I've never really been in a real fight…it feels like all I'm doing is taking up space in this village!" My outburst takes them all aback. Konohamaru looks disappointed; Udon and Moegi are in amazement while Hanabi frowns at me.

"If that's all true, why are you hiring us?" Konohamaru demands, but I can't think of a response. He then shouts, "You hiring us to help you leave the village for one day tells me you're trying to do something about it, am I right?"

"I….I'm sorry you guys…it's just the things they said…" I stammer, but then I say, "You all don't have to come with me outside the village, the minute I'm out pretend you never say me."

"WHAT? YOU'RE GOING ALONE?" Konohamaru exclaims.

"The woods outside the village are dangerous, if something happened to you guys then I'd really be at my wit's end. No way…." I tell them. Udon and Moegi glance at each other, worried. Konohamaru is confused while Hanabi shakes her head in disbelief.

"But Paul…" the Hyuuga girl begins to object but I shut my eyes.

"I can't rely on you all to do everything for me…just find a way to let me back into the village okay? And I'm sorry for complaining." Is all I add.

"Forget it, now lets talk about our payment." Konohamaru brushes it aside, but I jolt at what he says.

"W-WHAT?" I shake my head.

"Hey, ninja get paid for missions! We got expenses after all!" Konohamaru scolds me.

"Well how much do you want? I don't have much and I'm not being paid for the repairs around the village…" I appeal to them.

"I'm guessing this is an S-rank mission so I'll charge…." Konohamaru begins to pontificate before Hanabi interrupts him.

"This is a high C-mission if anything, be reasonable Konohamaru!" she cuts him off.

"WHAT? HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? AND WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT TO SHOW TO YOUR CAPTAIN?" the honorable grandson roars.

"WE ARE NOT ESCORTING HIM TO HIS DESTINATION NOR ACTING AS HIS BODYGUARDS! WE ARE SIMPLY GIVING HIM PASSAGE TO THE OUTSIDE AND A WAY BACK IN!" Hanabi snarls back, not backing down. Konohamaru glares at her, but Hanabi's pale white eyes glare just as hard.

"Well alright, I'll be generous this time….but only because Paul is our friend! Not because you yelled at me!" Konohamaru answers her, his voice quivering a little.

"Wonderful!" Hanabi smiles sweetly, completing removing all signs of hostility. _'Wow…Hanabi isn't even ten years old but she's got "the look" mastered…'_

"I'm a little scared…" I mumble. They all turn to me. "I haven't been outside of the village at all since I've been here….and when I was hiking toward the village I ran into a band of criminal ninja…they would have killed me for sure if that squad of hunter-nin had not saved me."

"Well…but you've been training under Naruto-nii chan right? So you have to be stronger now!" Moegi tries to raise my spirits. Well me not having chakra is a huge disadvantage but maybe the taijutsu and kunai lessons Naruto has pounded into me this past week might come in handy.

"Thank you Moegi. Speaking of which can you guys spare me some supplies when I leave? I'd ask Naruto but he'd probably get suspicious." I plead with them.

"Sure! By the way Paul, can I see the goggles we gave you?" Udon asks me with his hand outstretched.

"Huh? Right…." I tell Udon and hand over the goggles they gave me.

"I'll give them back when we're ready to get you out." He tells me.

"Now let's go to the gate you need to leave from so you get a feel for the surroundings…but let's be brief! We can't keep Naruto off of trail for long!" Hanabi reminds me.

"Oh…. right, thanks again for all of this." I comply. The kids then make a single handsign and the sand model of Konoha falls back down and vanishes. _'That was great…'_

**(SURVIVAL EXAMINATION ENDS)**

The Konohamaru Corps. all perform _henge no jutsu_ and Hanabi reverts to her Grandma disguise while the others all disguise themselves as regular villagers. Hanabi slaps the wig back onto my head and we hop over the backyard fence when nobody is around. We quickly head to the North Gate so I can get a better look at things….I take care to note any potential places I can use for cover while I'm trying to sneak out tomorrow. After about an hour and half of studying the terrain we decide we've hung around too long and duck into an alley to change back to our normal appearances. Hanabi pulls out the scroll she used earlier and by reactivating it, she reveals my jacket.

"Thank you-huh? Wow, did the scroll make it cleaner?" I wonder, smelling the bomber jacket.

"Alright! You got a good look at the area? Because if we stay here too long the guards will get suspicious!" Udon quickly addresses me.

"Yes….I think so….." I answer.

"The crowd gets really heavy at around 10:15, so try to wake up as early as you can for any last minute preparations and get plenty of sleep!" Moegi smiles at me.

"I will…see you all tomorrow, good day." I bid them farewell and leave. Pulling my jacket back on I stroll quickly but casually through the streets, keeping an eye out for Naruto. At the same time I peer around the buildings and what not, wondering if I'll spot any ANBU looking at me. _'Did Homura and Koharu order them to tail me? Is this the compromise Tsunade had to come too? _Turning around a corner I almost yelp aloud when I see them…those masks. A pair of ANBU are talking, but they stop and face me as soon as I come into view. The ANBU have always scared me, maybe it's because of the masks….those pale emotionless shells hiding their faces. Are they made of clay? Or are they made of bones that came from the last person they killed? I almost leap out of my skin when I feel something smack into me.

"OOPS! Sorry mister!" A little girl's voice says. I look down to see what hit me; a red Frisbee made of plastic! Not to far away, a small group of children are looking towards me.

"Oh…..that's alright." I reply and throw their Frisbee back to them. Turning back to my original path I see the two ANBU chuckling to themselves; about me? _'I need to calm down…I'm a nervous wreck! If I jump at every single thing they'll really grow suspicious!'_ Deciding it would be best to go back to Naruto's apartment I try to go there but I get lost a couple of times until I finally make it back. "Naruto?" I call out, hoping to see my best friend here to cheer me up, but no answer. Feeling tired I go to the bedroom and climb onto my futon. _'Maybe I should forget about leaving the village and just hide under the covers for the rest of my stay…how can I lose?'_

"THERE YOU ARE!" An angry voice shouts into my ear, scaring me so bad I bolt up but I get tangled in a blanket and fall onto the floor. When I look up, Naruto is standing over me with an annoyed glance.

"Naruto! Hello…" I squeak.

"Don't forget about you're training! And what's with the sushi roll impression?" He demands, pointing at me. Before I can answer he grabs hold of the blanket and starts to drag me outside; and I hit my head on the door on the way out. Then I realize this is the perfect time to receive last minute conditioning for tomorrow.

"Hey Naruto?" my voice calls out.

"What is it, meat?" he answers in a drill sergeant tone.

"Can you give me some extra training today?" I ask. He turns to me with the dewiest eyes I've ever seen.

"Of course I can! That's the spirit! Whaddya want to learn?" he squeals happily.

"Well…some stealth lessons would be good…..along with some more advanced taijutsu and weapons training….but train as if you were going to send me off on a mission tomorrow!" I reply coolly, stroking his ego.

"YOU GOT IT! LET'S BEGIN!" he hollers, completely falling for my trickery. The rest of the day Naruto puts me through more hell, but I need it more than ever…I get a few dizzy spells but I need them.

Dawn rises the following day. I barely got enough sleep because I was too terrified about what I'm going to do today. I look at Naruto, he's not getting up anytime soon. He's dreaming actually.

" Hehe…..no Mr. Daimyo…I won't accept anything but ramen for my inauguration banquet….." he drools. I quietly get washed up and dressed, get my backpack and anything else I might need followed by a quick puff of cologne for the finishing touch. I write a note saying I've gone to train on my own and leave it on the table. Right before I go, I walk to the still incapacitated Jinchuruuki. "More barbecue pork….more lobster…where did that belly dancer go…?" Naruto snores. I pull the covers back onto Naruto and tuck him in; then I go.

'_Hehehe…the perfect crime…now, the only thing I'm going to think about is getting to that farm…nothing else.'_

"Going somewhere?" A small voice greets me. I'm right outside the door, looking around. "Up here." The voice says. I glance upward to see Hinata perched upon the roof, staring coldly down at me. The sky starts to sprinkle some rain.

'_I wonder how far away from this village my savings would get me.'_

**(NARUTO MAIN THEME BEGINS)**

_Wow…that took a long time to finish. I had to tear down and redo this chapter a good number of times before I thought it looked good enough, I'm sorry everyone. The next chapter won't take as long hopefully. I have some new fans I see! Some of whom added me to their favorites! Thank you all for being so patient! I hope this chapter was worth the wait…..and is this a bad time to tell you all I never learned to type? Oh well…please review! See you all next time!_

**(NARUTO MAIN THEME ENDS)**


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